Romantic films always end the same way: wedding dress, flowers, and happy faces of a bride and a groom. But what happens after the wedding day? What is it like to live happily ever after? At Russian Brides we asked the experienced couples about their views on relationships after 10 years of marriage. Here is what they shared with us:
Passion wears off. Yes, it’s true. Euphoria, overwhelming emotions, obsession, and romantic dependency – all these things gradually fade away. What comes instead is stability, comfort, and calmness. If your relationship doesn’t give you these things, it can’t be called healthy.
Partners should belong to the same social class. We all love those fairy tales where a prince marries a simple girl. In practice, unequal marriages usually end up in a divorce. Of course, chemistry is a powerful and unpredictable thing and when it happens between two people, they don’t care about each other’s backgrounds. But when infatuation takes a back seat, all the existing differences in upbringing, mindset, views on life, career, and family become apparent.
Spouses should develop together. If a husband or a wife is not interested in self-improvement, eventually the one who prevents the other partner from progressing will be dumped. Sooner or later, the woman focused on children and cooking, the same as the man who spends his free time lying on a coach will become uninteresting for the other spouse. It’s important to have your passions and do something that doesn’t let you stand still. A perfect scenario is to share your partner’s interests or simply not to interfere.
It’s necessary to accept each other. Deep down spouses should totally accept one another for who they are, with their dark sides, habits, and weaknesses. You should let your significant others be themselves. You may try to change them but it should be only an option, not a purpose.
Each of the partners should have time for themselves. Marriage is a union of two independent personalities. Each of the spouses has the right to personal space and time. This is one of the most important principles of a harmonious relationship. You’re committed, but you’re free. You let each other be on your own at times. For example, a wife can go shopping solo or cycle to the nearest lake and relax in solitude. A husband can go fishing or spend almost the whole day in the garage on his own.
Partners with similar temperaments have happier relationships. If one partner is calm and domestic and a partner number two is too active, their marriage will not last long. Of course, it’s possible to adjust to your partner’s character and lifestyle or even level some differences in a temperament type. But if spouses are polar personalities, it will be difficult for them to live together.
Sex is not the main priority After 10 years of marriage, it’s impossible to have passionate sex and be as romantic as you were at the beginning of your relationship. Even after 3 years of a serious relationship, everything quiets down and goes to a more tranquil level. Sex life plays a secondary part in a solid long-term relationship.
Very valid points. Who agrees?
Cam says
I agree. The social class bit particularly resonates with me esp the mind set bit of it.
Berry Dakara says
This is an ad, right? Cos some of those points are one kind.
Sarah says
Hi Vera,
I do not totally agree with the social status opinion.
And that’s why a lot of ladies from African backgrounds still find it hard to get a man . When choosing a life partner it should be based on responsibility and competence, as well as being able to cope with crisis.
Don’t get me wrong love and understanding should also play a major role but in reality those other qualities would help in the long run.
Vera Ezimora says
Hi Sarah! Thank you so much for reading. I didn’t write this post. It’s a sponsored post and is tagged as such 🙂
But, personally, I think that social status is important, but should not be a deal maker or breaker.
Sarah says
Thanks for the reply. Babe won’t you talk on toke’s book. (On Becoming)This is a very controversial topic and if u play your cards right you can break the Internet and make a name 4 yourself . Sort of a critique thing. I feel you have a potential to do justice to it. Think of it probably do your research.
Vera Ezimora says
Lol. You’re not the first one to ask. Honestly, I’d like to give my opinion, but I don’t want to read that book.