Fat enough?
Those are precious words that you’ll probably never hear from a man’s mouth. Perhaps, this blog is as close as you’ll ever come to hearing it from a man’s mouth. And I am not even a man, so go figure.
Remember back in the day when the bigger a woman was, the better looking she was considered? Remember how that used to be the evidence of good living? It used to be the proof that she was well taken care of by her father or husband, preferably her husband. Remember how the women with wide hips and butts as wide as pillows held sideways used to boast of having an ikebe super? Igbo men call such hips/butt “ukwu pathfinder [pathfinder hips],” “ukwu transformer [transformer hips],” “ukwu v-boot [v-boot hips],” “ike danger [dangerous butt] … and the list goes on. Well, what happened?
Did men stop wanting the pathfinder hips, hips that are sure to find the path at any given point, even without a GPS? Did men stop wanting the transformer hips, hips that can power the electricity in an entire block (or consequently cause the electricity to fail due to too much voltage)? Did they stop wanting the hips shaped like that v-boot Mercedes Benz? Did they stop wanting the dangerous butts, the kind that literally cost people their lives? Or did we, women, change?
Women everywhere seem to be in a craze for the skinny bones. Have we [African women] become more educated about the risks and dangers of obesity? Or have we become more westernized, looking to the likes of Beyonce and Rihanna, for our ideal image? What is really going on? What we used to consider voluptuous, curvy, and shapely is now plain ol’ fat. One man’s fat, I realize, is another man’s average and vice versa.
But you know what’s interesting, while we [women] spend a lot of time making ourselves over, redefining the meaning of [black] beauty, nipping here and tucking there, the standard of beauty, it seems, has remained the same for the men: tall, dark, and handsome.
I’m sure you have plenty to say. Thankfully, Good Naija Girl, Caramel, and I will be discussing it live on the Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio show tomorrow, Saturday, March 6th 2010. The show will be airing at 10am U.S. Eastern time [4pm Nigerian time & 3pm U.K time]. Click here to listen. Join the live conversation by calling 1.646.929.1905. Send your thoughts/stories/questions via e-mail radio@verastic.com or text 1.443.934.9039. Follow me on Twitter for updates.
Ka chi fo [Goodnight in Igbo].
P.S. I’d like to say a big congratulations and best wishes to Onyi and Noni. It’s been a year since they started their journey. I pray God’s blessings and favor meet them both at the point of their individual and collective needs. Amen.
P.P.S. Don’t forget to vote [in the top right sidebar]!
P.P.S. Don’t forget to vote [in the top right sidebar]!
great post like always.
it's sad that Beyonce and Rihanna have become the epitome of curvy. i bet those chicks cant eat a damn burger with a peace of mind.
everything is changing cos change is constant. women just have to know line between being curvy and obese. obesity is unhealthy.
not eating right to be uber-slim is unhealthy too.
Ahhh…this should be very interesting, said topic. Bella Naija hinted this on her appearance on Oprah.
ma mother thinks i am FAT, i say i am PHAT….. think there is no difference? think again!
Congrats to Onyi and Noni… such a beautiful couple. Only both of dem understand their craziness.
Thanks for broaching this topic.
Interesting perspective. I think most African women have began to idolize stars/celebrities and have lost their entire focus. I am also a victim. We hope things go well though. I know an uncle who would only date fat women and he isnt apologetic for it….me on the other hand…I am not partial to fat people 🙁
LOL@ THE IKEBE CATEGORIES.
I like this topic, looking forward to the show. And yes I agree…I find it distasteful that many women are more interested in going skinny, rather than looking as good as their body permits. Am not one for being obese, but I still think the curvier, the better.
Ain't nothing better and sexier than a woman with good hips and nice curves. Beyonce et al as your model of perfection have curves. Else Jay wouldn't even put a ring on it!
I think our culture has become Westernized jare! Curvy and hippy is beautiful as long as the person is healthy….looking forward to listening to the show…should be nice!
The trend in Nigeria now is the "celebrity life". Almost all Nigerian parties boast "red carpets" at their events. These events try to simulate the paparazzi lifestyle. Tell me, how many large/obese celebs do you see on red carpets?
It seems like everyone wants to fit into designer clothes and appear to have the celebrity life.
I think this has a lot to do with the change, in addition to the knowledge people are gaining about being overweight. But most of it is done because of vanity. My 2 kobo.
I saw this on a blog belonging to one of the other contributors… My memory is like a sieve and it fails me now once again 🙁
Honestly, it is due to Westernisation. Full stop. Western culture is like a poisoned chalice. It came with many advantages but also took so much from us at the same time. Like valuing ourselves for who we really are… It's in the clothes we choose to wear; our perception of what is attractive; our gradual abandonment of our languages… It's everywhere. Anything remotely indigenous is razz. That includes natural hair, local languages and yes, TRADITIONAL BUILDS.
And to think people established fattening rooms to make wives more attractive to husbands… Now, TV has taken over. If your stomach isn't flat, you can never be sexy. It's less about your demeanor and more about being toned. Biko, what does the man want to hold? I can never forget being called out for putting on weight IN PUBLIC (church to be exact) cos I went from a UK size 8 to a 10. Here I was thinking I needed more booty to fill out my pants and it turns out I need less… LESS BOOTY? IN AFRICA? NA WA.
i dont even care one way or the other. if they want to be skinny, good for them, fat?good for them.
One thing I know for sure: it's going to be a very interesting discussion! I can't wait!!!
this is a must listen discussion.
As a skinny lady (i;m no biatch biatches….hehehe) growing up, i was mocked for being skinny, now, if i even put on a lil weight, everyone shouts, "what is goin on with u?"
I'm all for the booty… #boysfollowme booty oh… lol
em…African Women are not built like Caucasian Women. We were not meant to be stick thin. We are naturally curvy (not obese) with wide hips and small waist. What is wrong with that? Vogue Magazine tells us we are not the norm.
ugh this is always an annoying topic for me. It's mostly women's fault. Being skinny I've always being told to fatten up and men preffered "thick" girls. Then the same exact fat girls saying they love their body and tellin me I'm too skinny are the ones trying to lose weight and saying they look fat. Whatever be healthy and confident is what I say and men will love you no matter what…
I'll certainly be listening in to the conversation. Funny enough Bellanaija talked about it on her appearance on Oprah.
first time here and I like,very much..I've always had a weight problem,now, I'm a vegetarian,still,these hips wont just go!lol, well I dated some one who preffered me plump and didn't find it funny when I took the slimming biz seriously,someone else wanted me to be a bag of bones!anyhow,In a my search for a perfect physique,I've never done it to please any guy cause,those,can always change.. I do it for me..
Nice post,I'd be back.
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I need to state categorically that my wife has a nice shaped boborigomos (nyash) and the best shape and size (4-6 depending on designer). …
A woman with a 'beautiful' face and no ass/nyash/boborigomos is a turn off. You must have a nice shape and some backside/nyash to fit my profile of beauty.
I don't like slippers nyash (ike slippers). I would advise any woman with no ass to do something about it quickly. Lol. 🙂 If you intend to settle with a black (read Naija) man you owe it to yourself and ur partner's wandering eyes to do something about it.
I am glad that my wife has a nice behind and is not too skinny. A skinny woman with big butt can still keep a brotha happy – just have some boborigomos. One love!
I recently started to get noticeabley rounder, curvier, chunkier and my husband is a very happy man as a result.
I have never subscribed to the world's schizophrenic views of a woman's body, perhaps because as a Nigerian I grew up hearing phrases like "Ikebe super" and "Child bearing hips". I have always wanted to have an Ikebe that rolled and now that I do I couldn't be happier! I agree with the comment that our bodies are shaped differently from caucasians' what we now need to do is accept this convenient truth, embrace it and roll with it. It's a good thing!!
I fattened my wife because I like her fat. She is huge now and I love every inch. Something so sexy about a big girl walking about your house all jiggly and sexy!
I fattened my wife because I like her fat. She is huge now and I love every inch. Something so sexy about a big girl walking about your house all jiggly and sexy!
There is nothing better than watching your wife get huge and fat. Mine blew up from about 180 when I met her to around 340 now. I love fat woman and she could care less, she isnt worried about being as fat as she is and she knows her fat drives me crazy.
U are right my brother. A fat woman, especially d one with fat ass is d epitome of beauty.
Okay now. It is well.
Mine blew up from 350 lbs to just over 600 in 8 years and 4 kids later. Big, bloated and house bound; just they way I like em.
Oh, God. You have to be joking. That doesn’t sound healthy.
Nope no joke. I like em huge. The bigger the better. Ultra-SSBBW’s for me.
BTW, just stumbled across this blog again. I forgot all about the comment I left here years ago. 😀
Looooooooooooooooooooool. Goes to show that you were being honest even the first time around. Good luck, hon! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I do not know what madness that enetered the heads of African men. How can they be idolizing, praising and dieing for girls who are as slim as AIDS patients? What is a woman’s beauty without round, soft and big hips?
LOL @ Prof Peters. You’re one of those who like the big hips, I see. I won’t lie, I love my butt. But I guess some men don’t. Oh, well.
I’m excited to say that, a woman is not yet feminine until her butt (ass) role and bounce as a result of its fatness. A woman with no big ass is a man and can only be admired by homo-sexuals
Okay now. Well, I wish you the very best in your search for whatever you desire.
But if u can help in that search, it will be good
No problem.
Liking a big full bodied woman is all fine and well but how about these 500lb bitches you see on line at the KFC. They aren’t just big they are like prize hogs at a county fair. They is disgusting and shouldn’t even be considered human. But yet someone must find them attractive because they all got kids with them. Someone is porking these pigs but I wonder how many guys will admit to it?
Well, I guess there’s someone for everyone.
As they say, there is an ass for every toilet seat.
i guess it’s true even if the ass is mega-huge. LOL
Lol. This is true.
You comment says more about you than about the so-called pigs you find so disgusting. Look the other way, boy. And I do mean “boy” in the literal sense.
I think someone here is confusing BIg and Fat. The whole world knows Beyonce flaunts a crazy park of butts some guys are indeed going crazy over. That does not mean she has to be fat. In case you do not know, The perfectly round hips and firm breasts out there are not composed of fat. we have muscles in the butt that should be strengthened just like the way we men build our muscles, and so can you firm your breast. Don’t get it wrong, my friends know i go BIG and date BIG people. But when it turns to Fat, It becomes unhealthy. Ciao!
I love love love fat women…love their shape, their size, their lovely folds and rolls. As long as health is maintained, I will take me a fat woman over a thin one any day of the week.
Ghan, I am happy for you. Carry on.