There’s a saying that you attract what you want or what you are or something like that. So I’m starting to think that this is the reason why I attract the most interesting people. Let me tell you about Kemi (not her real name). She has a tall, handsome husband and three very good looking kids – all below six years old.
Recently, I hung out with Kemi and her husband was not home. When I asked about him, she told me he was ill and in the hospital. I expressed my sympathy, but I didn’t ask what his ailment was because you know, that’s personal, and sometimes people don’t like to discuss their health concerns.
However, Kemi felt the need to tell me what was wrong with him (and I, of course, was all too happy to listen). He had too much sperm. I was sure she meant to say that he had too little sperm. Besides, since when did we start having such a condition as too much sperm? Well, apparently it exists. And I do not remember the medical name for it now.
According to Kemi, her husband actually has two problems: (1) Production of too much sperm, and (2) Too potent. Yes, he produces too much sperm, and when he does, it is too potent. This is the reason – according to her – why they have three kids and counting. “People think we have sex all the time, but we don’t. He touches me once and I get pregnant,” she said. I don’t know about you, but for me, the sound of hearing that one touch gets her pregnant has me feeling all kinds of girly. Oh, the possibilities!
She went on to tell me that his problem was so massive that his sperm was being used for research in a well-known hospital because researchers want to know what it is that causes a man to produce such a ridiculous amount of sperm, and at such high potency, too. She said that he produces so much sperm that the doctors have to go inside his penis with a needle and syringe to suck out the excess sperm. Ouch much?
As every illness, there is always some kind of treatment or relief. For Kemi’s husband, the doctor has recommended that he has sex at least three times a day for the next nine months. I imagine the men reading this right now and wondering why they don’t have such a diagnosis and treatment plan.
Well, Kemi responded to the doctor’s prescription by saying, “Well, not with me! We have three children. How am I supposed to have sex three times a day?” And really, how do you have sex three times a day with three children under six years old? Even jobless, children-less people may have a hard time with this schedule, so I imagine that three children under six will make it six times harder.
She said she has given him three options: (1) Masturbate (2) Donate his sperm to a sperm bank, and (3) Get a side chick. He has said no on all counts. He doesn’t like to masturbate, he won’t donate his sperm because that would mean that he has children running around that he does not know about, and he will not get a side chick because he is a happily married man.
I freaked out at the mention of him having a side chick, but Kemi was all too confident that even if he had a side chick, she would not stay long because she, too, will not be able to keep up with his sexual demands. Well, that’s one way to be confident in your relationship.
So errr which one of my male readers has too much sperm? And when would you like me to help you fix it — by directing you to Funmie, of course.
P.S. The excess sperm makes him hard. A lot.
P.P.S. So the next time I saw Kemi’s husband, guess where my eyes were looking at (against my will, of course!)?
Wait,r u for real with this or is this one of your wiod imaginations?! O_o!
Lol. I wish. I am very real oh! Not a joke at all.
It is ture I have the almost same issue with it its very rare in most men mine is naturally producing massive amounts of semen but I have no pain with mine still learning about it doctors are confused about it
So I totally understand him. What an awesome husband. My personal diagnosis for hyperspermia dictates that I “naturally deplete my levels four a day to prevent painful swelling”. In other words, I ejaculate as often as possible a day. Did “kemi” mention how long it takes him to ejaculate? I finally finish on average after 2-3 hours per session. And yes, most of my time is dedicated to this issue. I’ve never thought someone would enjoy this though. it’s disgusted all of my sexual partners
it does exist because I too have it, however not to his extent, I need sex at least once every 48hours other wise it becomes painful because my body cant get rid of it quick enough. my doctor has told me that it is a puberty thing and that when I hit an age somewhere between 25 to 30 the production rate will slow and it will go.
Wow. Well, this man that I wrote about is definitely not young. I mean, it’s not a puberty thing for him at all. Goodluck to you 🙂
Dang, puberty hit you like a ton of bricks!
lol nigga that was 4 years ago…he dead now
LOOOOL! like i don’t even know what comment to write. just WOW!
I’m wow’d too. I never, ever knew that this was an issue. Lol.
Is this not “priapism”? This is the one that makes you hard at all times. Not that I would know anything about that. It is different from producing excess sperm though. This one is on a whole ‘nother level. From what you wrote, it seems like the man has both. It might sound funny, but is not a laughing matter, I tell you.
Someborri,
How come you know the name of the illness if you have know nothing about it??? Just asking…..
Wikipedia is your friend, my friend.
Oh, I see you answered Ibukun.
Oya, Someborri, answer the kweshun!
Someborri, I don’t know the name of the illness, but yeah, according to his wife, he has them both. And she too said that although it’s funny, it’s not a laughing matter at all. She said he is always in a lot of pain, especially when they have to use a needle and syringe to suck the sperm out. I can only imagine his pain and discomfort.
My fiancé has an excess sperm in his body and we are not ready to meet before marriage. It disturbs him a lot. I don’t know what to do
I need to take a moment to process this information…… This is freaking unbelievable for my brain to process.
Lool. I know, Sykik. That’s how I felt too when she first told me.
Wait, you’re joking, right? This is a joke? I actually felt my toes curling in fear while reading this. Hian? Wow! Oh my goodness, it’s not even funny. *sigh*
Nope. Not joking at all. It’s a real problem.
What did I just read?
I think you read that you may have an excess sperm problem. Lol.
Unfortunately, this might come as breaking news to ladies; most men have that problem. His case is not as serious as I thought; he touches his woman and gets her pregnant. What about the case of a man who get a woman pregnant by just staring at her?!!
Looool! Mustee, you don come again. Abeg oh. That better not be possible. Haha.
seems like Kemi’s imagination is a little bit colorful. just three children? abeg, if he really had a problem, they would have like ten kids. Also does kemi have bow legs yet?
Looooooooool!!! What do bow legs have to do with the excess sperm or the children or Kemi’s overactive imagination? Haha. Can’t wait to hear this one. Biko update me.
LOOOOOOOL. I can’t even laugh. My dad is a doctor so I have heard and seen a A LOT of things but this… loool
Maybe you need to ask your dad about it. lol.
Hi Vera;
Didn’t you want to help your friend Kemi? I mean being the side chick of her husband.
Uduvi, no thank you. I definitely did not want to help her. Being a side chick is in direct conflict with my need to be the one. The ONLY ONE.
Lmao
I’ve been searching for information about this topic! I have a friend with the exact same condition. It’s crazy. When I first met the guy, naturally I didn’t believe him. But the guy needs sex 4 times a day or to masturbate, otherwise he’s in misery. I’ve let him hang out at my place a couple times..did nothing with him, & after 1 day he was c/o pain. He says it’s his curse and he hates it.
WOOOOOOOOOOW. That’s crazy isn’t it? Some people would probably think it’s a blessing, but I can see how this can be a big problem. Poor guy.
See how selfish people can be?! Why hasn’t he started a charity for childless couples? For a small fee for ‘logistics’ of course. Its far cheaper and more pleasurable than IVF treatment!
Very true. But maybe he’s just not comfortable with technically having a bunch of kids. I say technically because biologically, he is their father. So maybe he doesn’t like the idea of his offsprings being anywhere and everywhere. I don’t know sha *shrug*
I remember a friend of mine having that kind of problem when I was at the university. If he didn’t have sex or masturbate during the day he was having uncontroled ejaculation while sleeping. But I don’t understand what the problem is masturbating can be done in a bathroom fast easy and enjoyable. On the other hand if you produce a lot of sperm this can be more difficult since the quantity is obviously large and the pressure make it go very far. Another friend of mine was talking about it one day to me and my girlfriend. He can shoot up to six feet away while ejaculating. I said to him that he was joking. And he show it to me one day (I know… sometimes, we guys have strange behaviours) and it was all real he was standing and the ejaculation went six feet in front of him and there was sperm all the way. An incredible amount. I am jealous lol.
Tom is jealousy yet some are being hospitalised…I feel sorry the man. I think Kemmi needs to be on contraceptives and adjust to the sex any time a day arrangement, after all they are married.
Hi. I have a friend/19 yo also who has a scrotal gland condition that makes him produce too much sperm and if not masturbated it cause him much pain. I feel pity for him, i cant do anything about it.
It’s called Hypersemia.
It’s a rare issue.
So I totally understand him. What an awesome husband. My personal diagnosis for hyperspermia dictates that I “naturally deplete my levels four a day to prevent painful swelling”. In other words, I ejaculate as often as possible a day. Did “kemi” mention how long it takes him to ejaculate? I finally finish on average after 2-3 hours per session. And yes, most of my time is dedicated to this issue. I’ve never thought someone would enjoy this though. it’s disgusted all of my sexual partners
Omg! I knew someone with a similar condition! Although this is how it was: he had a large dick at the age of 13, around 7in. His doctor said he’ll develop a medical condition where his body produces too much semen. When he developed the medical condition, his dick grew to almost 11in. He says it’s curable, but he has to masturbate everytime his dick gets hard, which is a lot . Masturbation therapy. He’s able to release semen by masturbating, but he’s able to release a whole lot more if someone else jerk his off. I’ve always wondered what this medical conditions is called. I’d be more than happy to help him, because I’m not comfortable with who currently does it, but he lives in the Philippines. And he’s only 19.
Why does cream of mushroom soup come to mind when reading this ??? That dude need to call Larry Flint. Pronto ! Peter North. Step aside man. El Squirmeister Cummeth !
Loooooooooooooooool
I need someone to help me with this problem. Mine isn’t that bad but I need to carry a bucket and a mop with me everywhere I go lol.
I’m 29 no health problems and no kids.
Help me Vera 😉
Hi Vera. I believe the medical name for this condition you’re thinking of, is hyperspermia. Does that sound right? It’s basically a guy that can cum excessive amounts of jizz. However for the majority of men who have this condition, they are infertile and have very low sperm count. But Kemi’s husband seems to be quite the exception. One in a billion. Not gonna lie to you though, I’d love to see Kemi get a facial cumshot from her husband. That must be a sight to behold. I’d actually pay $$$ to see a private pic. Real talk. I’ll send money via paypal or however. Yeah I’m a freak like that LOL! I imagine it would look like a gigantic marshmellow exploded all over her face and hair. I know this blog is already a few years old, but are there any updates? Are they still married? Does he still have this condition? Has a gotten a side chick?
It is a real condition. I’ve seen it firsthand with a guy I was seeing briefly. OMG, never seen anything like it 🙂
Go on. Please continue with the rest of the story!
Oh, wow. That’s crazy!
I am approaching 50 and I still have this problem. I have three kids with my first and three kids with my second wife and one with her sister. Not because of cheating but because her and her husband were having troubles.
My first wife became exhausted with my need to relieve (three to four times a day in my twenties).
It became something of a problem to the point where she suggested that she pay for it. I wasn’t comfortable with that so things eventually came to an end.
My second wife has adjusted somewhat. It has helped that I only need to ejaculate twice a day now. It has also helped that she has a high sex drive too. She is a little too proud of my condition. So much so that it has been a little awkward around her friends and their husbands. Many of her friends have appeared a little hot under the collar at parties which has caused some angst with their husbands or boyfriends.
While it means we have never had problems getting pregnant, it is an inconvenience in other areas.
I first found out when a previous girlfriend mentioned the fact that it mustn’t be coagulating because at lot came back out. I went to the clinic and got tested and the doctor diagnosed hyperspermia with excessively high potency.
She is quite proud about
Wow! Well, the good thing is that it seems to all be working out for you and your family, and that’s all that matters.