Obviously, I cannot count how many Nigerian parties/events I have attended in my lifetime, but there’s something that happens at all of them: the food craze. This craze does not transfer to non Nigerian food though, only the Nigerian one. For example, I remember attending a wedding where they served all Nigerian food, like mashed potatoes, baked salmon, green leafy salad, and no rice, and the guests were visibly unsatisfied and disapppointed. We all know that no Nigerian party is complete without rice, especially jollof rice.
Check out this beautiful jollof rice creation by Lohi O
I won’t pretend that I am not slightly disappointed when I go to a Nigerian party that does not have Nigerian food, but it’s not necessarily a deal breaker for me. For one thing, I eat at home before coming and I don’t expect too much. These caterers can like to disappoint you sometimes. The food will look so good and then taste like it was cooked with one maggi cube. Plus, it depends on the kind of Nigerian event I’m attending anyway. I’d expect finger foods at a baby/bridal shower, but for a bigger event like a wedding, I’d think there would be “real” food.
But that’s not even what this post is about. The question I keep pondering is why people go crazy for Nigerian food. Guests have barely arrived and people are packing take away plates. Is there no shame left? I don’t even think there’s a method to control the madness. No matter how you dispense the food, there would always be those people that find a way to take half of it home, so at some point during your party, there’s no food left – not because you did not provide enough food, but because some people have foil trays of your food in their trunk.
I have seen people try all kinds of methods to control the food, but Nigerians still have a way to elude these methods:
(1) Buffet Style: All the food is lined up in serving dishes/trays and being warmed by those little fires. There are no servers behind the food, so people take what they want. That’s how they end up taking too much. People who eat their rice with one piece of meat at home will come to your party and eat 10 pieces.
(2) Buffet style with food police: This is the same as the one above, but there are servers behind the food. Or as I like to call them, Protectors of the Realm. These people are there to stop the above mentioned people from taking 10 pieces of meat. However, there are some strong willed guests who will start screaming and shouting over not being given all 10 pieces of meat.
(3) Pre-served food: This is when the food is already preserved in individual plastic or styrofoam plates. Great idea, right? Yeah. Except that one person will run off with 10 plates of food because they have to take food home for their husband’s sister’s cousin’s neighbor’s friend’s enemy. There goes your food.
(4) Restaurant-style: Everyone remains in their seat and servers bring the food to everyone. But there would be those people who don’t eat rice and would prefer beans — and the people who don’t eat beef and would prefer goat meat. Therefore, the servers have to take the food back. Food is wasted. Time is wasted. Everyone is hungrier than they should be.
I rarely ever have events, and by “rarely,” I mean that I don’t remember the last time I was the host of an event. I usually think about it, but I never actually go through with it. I think the best way – and possibly the only way – to control Nigerians at Nigerian parties is to serve them with non Nigerian food. Let’s see how many of them are running to take mac and cheese home. The next best option is to have everyone bring their own food.
Lmao. Do not joke with Nigerians and their Jollof rice o! But come to think of it. Using a Non Nigerian recipe to do crowd control at a Nigerian wedding sounds like a great plan.
You guys should check out my blog. There is a new post about ‘the labour room’ it’s a piece every woman should read.
http://www.carolesrepublic.blogspot.com
Carole, I know that when it comes to Naija food, Jollof Rice is king, and I would like to eat it all the time. My problem is the people that come to your party and take the food home. Not cool!
What’s not a deal breaker? If you like do your crowd control with Martian food and extra food military, we’ll even keep our gift out of your wedding, baby christening, burial or even bad gf dissociation party since everyone has decided to act childish. What a mess.
Breathe, I’m confused about what you’re saying. Are you saying that if there’s no jollof rice/nigerian food, yoy won’t give gifts? Well, like I commented above anyway, the point of suggesting a menu change isn’t for crowd control, but to keep people from taking the food home. Take away is fine really, but wait till everyone has eaten. And don’t carry a whole cooler of food home either.
Yes, adding the Food Police or Protectors of the Realm to guard our beloved jollof is a deal breaker enough and you’re still talking about mac and cheese?
Well, we’ll also safeguard our gifts back to the trunk or home, in reciprocation. And that’s fair because after getting emotional about the absence of our dear jollof, we won’t just hand you the total victory in your premeditated war against Nigerians by also cheerfully parting with our dear gifts and money. That’s so cheap. Love and hold your jollof, let’s hold our things. Gbam.
We dont joke with our jollof rice oh!!
At all, at all. All this writing about jollof rice is making me want some sef.
Jollof rice is the food Nigerian guests expect in every party. Other delicacies is a bonus.
Very, very true. A party with no jollof rice has not started. Lol.
Vera!!!! Mac and cheese ke???? Don’t try it oh. Nigerians will issue a fatwa on you and yours forever. Even me sef if I go to Naija party and someone gives me mac and cheese, I will use side eye to look that person forever
Looooooool. You sound like I just suggested a taboo. I guess it is in some way. By the way, I still don’t eat mac and cheese.
Vera u want to start a war abi
Give me jellof or give me war lol
Naija food is the ish and a naija party without it is a massive fail
Hahahahahaha. Has it become that bad? Jollof rice or war, kwa? Lol!!! I have no words for you.
JOLLOF rice is life!!!
bring their own food!!!! hahahah… dat won’t happen…. me i stop bothering a long time ago.. the fod should be surplus enough to go round buh if you don’t get biko don’t be angry (no be there you wan chop evening food plus say stomach no get reservoir) i’m not feeding the nation…. if you dare serve them wif non nigerian food eh… they will so waste it u will jus weep… this is naija… we love party jollof.. u can;t feed everyone buh feed half
vera, by the way do u even know that the food smuggling starts from the kitchen.. does caterers eh…. they no da fear God… finally na greediness dey cause am sha
the MAD WOMAN that lived on my street
bring their own food!!!! hahahah… dat won’t happen…. me i stop bothering a long time ago.. the food should be surplus enough to go round buh if you don’t get biko don’t be angry (no be there you wan chop evening food plus say stomach no get reservoir) i’m not feeding the nation…. if you dare serve them wif non nigerian food eh… they will so waste it u will jus weep… this is naija… we love party jollof.. u can’t feed everyone buh feed half
vera, by the way do u even know that the food smuggling starts from the kitchen.. does caterers eh…. they no da fear God… finally na greediness dey cause am sha
the MAD WOMAN that lived on my street