I love you, my Nigerians, I really do, but you people can like to do some kind of way. I know this does not apply to everyone, but if you are guilty, then please, read and heed.
We’re talking about your response when people congratulate you for something. Who came up with the idea of saying, “Thank you! Your own too will come!” when someone congratulates you? That is a terrible response to give. This is how NOT to respond to congratulations.
First of all, when you tell the person who is congratulating you that his/her own too will come, you assume the person’s desire to have what you have – which is usually either a spouse or a child. Or even a new house or a promotion at work. All these things are good, but honestly, not everyone wants one.
I know some Nigerians find it hard to understand or believe that not everyone wants to be married, and not everyone wants to become a parent, but please believe it and accept it because it is true. Yes, children are our inheritance from God, but not everyone wants an inheritance. Yes, marriage is [should be] a beautiful thing, but can we discuss how beautiful your marriage is before you wish it upon someone else? Not everyone wishes to spend their life with one person, and that is okay. Let them be.
Secondly, when you respond by saying, “Your own too will come,” you are being insensitive to whatever might be the person’s situation. For example, when you have a child and someone who’s struggling with fertility says congratulations and you respond by saying, “Thank you, your own too will come,” you are not actually helping or encouraging the person. The person wants his/her own too to come, of course, but he/she does not need you to utter meaningless words to them. I call them meaningless because you are not saying them because you are joining your faith to theirs to hope and pray for a baby, but because you are saying what you think is the appropriate response.
Thirdly, you are making a promise that you cannot keep – unless you are the one who will make their own too to come. If you cannot make their own too to come, then please don’t tell them that their own too will come. Do not give them an opinion on their life when they have not asked for it.
Next time someone congratulates you, please say THANK YOU and end it there. You may wish for their own too to come in your mind. You can say a prayer for them in your heart and keep the rest to yourself if truly you wish for their own too to come. God can hear you in there; you don’t have to make promises that you cannot keep – unless.
This message is brought to you by your Nigerian sister. You are welcome. Now that you know better, you have to do better. Read other Dead Nigerians posts here.
P.S. Help other Nigerians by tweeting the message below.
Also, if you don’t say Amen after that it’s another problem.
Lol. This is very true.
I think its one of those direct yoruba translations to english, when someone says “e ku ori ire” (congratulations!), you reply : “ire naa a ka ri o”, (your own too will come).
My 2 cents though!
Bukola, I’m sure you’re absolutely right. It’s just that some things, when said in a native language, sounds nice and proper. When translated into English (and to non-Yoruna people), it doesn’t come across as such at all.