Dear Boy/Girlfriend Stalker,
I hope this post meets you well. I know you have been busy tracking the e-whereabouts of your partner, exploring every new friend he/she made on Facebook, following everyone that’s following him/her on Twitter, checking out the space of everyone who is on his/her MySpace page, and submitting his/her name to Google Alerts, so that you can literally be alerted every time his/her name appears on the world wide web. It’s all been very time consuming, I’m sure.
It is for this reason that I bring you relief – yes, I know I’m nice. You see, there’s a new thing out there. Let’s call it a cell phone tracker. That really is what it is. For the very convenient and affordable monthly fee of 9.99 American dollars – that’s 1,498.50 in Naira. With this service, you will finally be able to monitor your partner fully and get answers to those burning questions:
1. Where exactly is he/she?
2. Who is he/she with?
3. What is he/she doing?
4. Who is he/she doing?
5. Who is calling him/her?
6. Who is he/she calling?
7. Who is texting him/her?
8. Who is he/she texting?
9. Does he/she scream the other person’s name like he/she screams my name?
10. Does he/she think I’m a deranged lunatic who should be committed to the Psychiatric ward?
I know what you’re thinking: “Oh, no, I’ve not been asking that last question.” Well, you don’t have to be asking it. By the time you’re done tracking his/her cell phone, he/she will definitely be answering that question for you.
I also know what you’re now thinking: “Well, where’s the link to the cell tracking company?”
And to that, I say: For a convenient and affordable one-time fee of $49.99, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. Or you could just click the link and find out for yourself HERE.
lol
This has to be a joke, right? You're not seriously promoting a website that promotes craziness, right?
Sadly, there is a market for this.
hehehehehe…annoynmous seems upset
Some peopleare going to run mad at all d discoveries they'll make on this tracking software when installed.
C E L L O C A T E
lol
one word: creepy.
I'm sure that tracker is a best seller already, lol//
lmaoooo I really hope that this company is paying you for this advertisement!!!!
LMAO!
I thought this was a joke but this really exists!
And Anonymous where is your sense of humor!
Lol finally a relief for we paranoid peeps
Gentle Soul: I know. LOL indeed 🙂
Anonymous: Do you think I'm joking?
Azuka: Yes, indeed. Sadly.
NuttyJ: Anonymous definitely seems upset. Let's just hope that his/her lover will not start tracking him/her. Per the madness, oh, boy!
H: Sometimes, that's really all one can do: lol
Lucid: Another word: entertaining (if you're watching from the sidelines). Tehehe.
Myne: I know, right? Can't imagine all the people who are finally tracking their lovers.
Skinny Hipster: I wish!! They ought to pay me for this, abi?
Nigerian Drama Queen: My dear, like joke, like joke, it really does exist oh. Imagine the likeness! lol
Azazel: I know, right! That's exactly what I thought, too. LOL.