ABC’s The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is about to start casting for its 18th season. Wow! That’s a lot of seasons. Maryland isn’t a State with a lot of television opportunities, so when a big show like The Bachelor / The Bachelorette comes around, it’s a pretty big deal. Yes, my people. It is big news that there is a casting call in Maryland for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Most of the couples of these shows do not end up in marriage, but I guess people really want to watch it (or be on it) because the show continues to go on.
The casting call is for both shows, so whether you’re male, female, or both, there’s a place for you. That said, I know that most of my readers are Nigerian or of Nigerian descent, so if you do decide to go for this casting call and by some Irish luck, you actually get to be on the show, you have to remember that Naija no dey carry last, so you have to win. Losing is not option. Luckily for you, I have some ideas:
1. You will be on American TV, so please, download and install your American accent.
2. As a proper Naija person, you have to go above and beyond to win, including but not limited to stealing a rose and replacing it with a fake one.
3. Send an e-mail (with a fake name) – you know we’re good at this – to your rival, telling them that you are ill and dying and would like to give them the sum of ten billion dollars, but they have to give up everything they are doing and run to Dubai RIGHT NOW. Not everyone will buy it, but someone will.
4. Speaking of Dubai, I hear there’s something called a Dubai Package in Nigeria. When a woman gives a man the Dubai Package (via sex, I believe), he is hooked for life (or until deliverance occurs). Ladies and gentlemen, forget the Dubai Package. Build an Abu Dhabi Package instead. Isn’t Abu Dhabi more expensive than Dubai?
5. Arrange for whoever gets a rose to be kidnapped, and let the ransom be their rose.
6. Just in case you don’t like the idea of the Abu Dhabi Package because you’re not into the whole diabolical thing, then you can always bring your pastor into it. Let him/her come in, rebuke all your rivals, sprinkle holy water, and rub olive oil on the person you’re competing for.
Viola! You can mention me during your speech, and talk about how awesome I am. You’re welcome.
So, if you’re interested in attending this casting call, it’s on Thursday, June 13th 2013, 5pm to 9pm at the Maryland Live! Casino at Anne Arundel Mills. 7002 Arundel Mills Circle #7777 | Hanover, MD 21076 | 1.443.842.7000
There are other States, too, like Arizona, Texas, Georgia, Michigan, Washington (hi, Myne!), and much more. Click HERE for the full list. And click HERE to find out how to apply.
let Myne’s Atala catch you ….. you are advising her to audition for bachelorette when she don get oga at the top already
hahahaha..no mind Vera
Izzie, no mind Vera maka why? No be true I dey talk?
Ehn, what is wrong with having two ogas at the top? That’s more fun for Myne nah. In fact, she should be sending me a thank you basket sef.
LOL…I love the show, and I keep telling Atala I have to audition! All the travel, all the tripping and taking out! No American accent but I think I can pass for forever 21, hehehe….
Myne, you definitely have to audition. I mean, two heads are better than one, right? Instead of having one husband, you can have two. You’re gonna love it.