That Time My Mommy Became An Importer Exporter

I really just wanted an opportunity to say ‘importer exporter’ the way my Igbo business men introduce themselves. My mom was not an importer, but she was definitely on her way to becoming an exporter. You must be thinking, that’s great! Well, get to the end of this post first.

My mom has this thing where she comes up with a new business idea. The problem is that my mommy isn’t a great business woman, as she has proven many times. Great medical doctor, yes. Business? No. She has stared many businesses, like the time she was selling Avon products years ago. It would have been great, except that she was not marketing her business, and she was her biggest customer – buying everything and sending them to family in Nigeria. Then there was the fashion business, which I will not even bother going into.

This time, my mommy decided to become a car exporter. Because you know, this was 2011 (or 2010) and everyone was making millions from exporting cars from the USA to Nigeria. Supposedly. I think a normal person would ask questions from those that have been doing this business forever, but not my mommy. My mommy decided to go to the auction by herself. Yes, by herself. And then came home with an old Mercedes Benz. I don’t remember what year it was, but it was too old to be shipped back home.

I asked my mommy why on earth she decided to start her exporter business this way, and she said she was not aware that she was buying the car. Apparently, when the cars were rolling through and the auctioneer was speaking and people were raising their hands to show intent to buy, my mom remembered that if you cannot beat them, you should definitely join them, so my mom raised her hand, too. And that was how an old rickety Mercedes Benz became my mom’s most recent purchase.

Problems: (1) It was old. (2) It was too expensive (3) It was not in great condition (4) And because of its age, it was also too old to be shipped to Nigeria, so buying this car defeated the entire purpose. When my mommy realized she could not ship it to Nigeria, she had to beg the seller to buy it back, and he did — at a price lower than what he sold it for. Way to go, mommy!

I was hoping that my mom learned her lesson, but her recent decision to have a bunch of clothes sewn for sale has proven otherwise. Mom is still in business mode, and I wish she wouldn’t be because her business ideas give me heart palpitations. Like that time in Nigeria she decided to go into the poultry business, so she could start selling eggs by the crates, except that she had mistakenly bought roosters instead of hens, so the eggs never happened. I could have sworn I already blogged about this before. If not, I will. I know, I know, the list of things I have to blog about keep increasing.

P.S. Her most recent business is bringing diminishing returns. As usual.