Laugh all you want, but I can explain. I was talking to my mommy the other day, and we were discussing my breast milk supply, specifically about how I have multiple bags of breast milk stored in the freezer because I’m producing more than she’s consuming. I also mentioned to my mom that I recently discovered you can sell or donate your breast milk. So I said to my mommy that I would welcome the idea of donating my breast milk eventually. Maybe not right this very moment since Ada Verastic only 2 months and I don’t know how much she will be consuming soon. Anyway, that was how my mommy said, “Of course, people donate breast milk, just like they donate sperm.”
Awkward silence.
I know you’re thinking kini big deal, but I told you that I am my mommy’s only baby, and we have always had [still have] a relationship where she treats me like an innocent baby and I, too, continue to act like an innocent baby [not that I’m not, of course]. We do not talk about sex, and we do not say words like sperm.
Do you know how I told my parents and family that I was pregnant? Well, I did not tell them. I refused to. How was I supposed to open my mouth and tell my parents that their baby is now pregnant? Hian! Sure, they know I’m married, and sure, they expect me to be getting busy [I think?], but until I became pregnant, there was no proof of any business on my part. Thanks to Verastic, all that has changed. Still, I don’t want my mommy to say sperm to me. It caught me off guard and I did not know how to respond.
My mommy and I have such an interesting relationship that she still refuses to buy me candy because she does not want to “train” me up eating sweets. True story. And this happened just this year. 2015. So when my mommy said sperm, I curled up and decided to pretend not to have heard what she said, and that even if I did, I did not know what that word meant.
People donate sperm? What??? What is sperm? What does it do?
Why couldn’t she just have said blood? Why could she not have compared the donation of breast milk to the donation of blood? And the other day, I was also telling her our sleeping arrangements, about how Ada Verastic always wants to sleep with me and how Igwe has been kicked out of the bed. Then I caught myself and realized that I admitted to my mommy that a man sleeps in my bed.
This was me after sperm happened
Hilarious!! Mummy – pls dont spoil innocent Vera’s ears with bad words…..! LOL!
Hilarious!! Mummy – pls dont spoil innocent Vera’s ears with bad words…..! LOL!
Calabar Gal
Abi oh. Please tell her. Lol.
Hehe, its just sperm. What if after not being pregnant for a while, she was telling you what positions to try? :p
hahahahahahaha…. this comment killed it
THIS KAIN LOVE SELF
Tehehe. Don’t mind Berry.
Aaaahhhh! Berry, stop that rough play oh. Positions, ke?
Very funny story. Of course, the awkwardness of mentioning all these things with parents. I actually never knew you could store breast milk in the freezer. I guess I have a lot to learn when I become a mum
http://www.tunrayosthoughts.com
Tunrayo, yes oh, you can store breast milk in the freezer for 6 months to a year. If my milk supply continues as it is right now, I’ll start using the frozen breast milk when she’s 5 months and start storing new ones.
Hahaha Vera you will not kill me.
Manny, this is a serious issue oh! Very serious. I don’t want my mommy to say sperm. If she does, I don’t want to hear it.
LMAO!!! My waffarian mummy has said worse …the f word included. Of course each time I try to act like I’m deaf!!!
Lool. My dad said the f-word once, and it was so awkward. Hahahaha. Acting deaf is definitely the best way to respond. Lol.
Hmmm, i have heard about storing breastmilk, so much to learn when i’m ready mehn. looll@ur mum and the’innocence” This post cracked me up proper and its so common in most Naija homes, i get it though. It can be awkward having talks with the folks about man, sex, sperm, etc. lool. I can’t even watch movie with them with kissing/sex scenes, i just act like i’m looking at something else till it ends. Imagine how mortified i was when one of my aunties was talking bout positions to get preggers and food to eat and the likes just after my wedding reception!!! I was like watttttttt!!!! Dis sex topic that has been a taboo all this while, now una dey tell me positions to carry belle. Abeg i no want biko.
I know!!!!!!!!! First, everything is taboo, then all of a sudden, they just want to spring it on you. Eww. Please no. If my mommy and I were the type who talk about sex and its related subjects, then it wouldn’t have been a problem. But we just went from zero to not zero, and that was not cool. Lol.
Ewwwoo, once my mum told me she had a pregnancy scare. We lived in the same house but I avoided her for a week. Wetin be dis ting oh?