Welcome to July.
I almost forgot to type a journal for June. The end of June just came too fast, but it’s all good. My June consisted of some very hot days. Literally hot! I live on the third floor, and heat does not go well with third floors in the summer. For reasons beyond the heat, I am desperately and eagerly looking forward to Fall. Nice weather, burnt orange and ruby red trees, among many other things.
I spent a lot of time thinking about Verastic in June. I have been blogging for 9.5 years and I am not done growing. I have learned now that I may never even get to the point where I feel like I’m done growing and I have nothing else to change. I’m constantly adding new features or taking off ones that don’t quite work. I think it was about two years ago that I came up with the description, “A little bit of everything,” which I then changed to “A lifestyle blog about a little bit of everything.” Well, this description will be retired soon. Once I find a worthy replacement, of course.
I don’t know if I will blog forever. What I know for sure is that I will write forever in one way or another. I have a love-hate relationship with the calendar. I want it to go by fast, so I can get to a certain special time in my life, but at the same time, with the start of every new month, I have a slight panic attack. What did I accomplish in the month that finished? Will I ever accomplish everything on my list, especially since it keeps getting longer and longer? I accomplish one thing and add five more. It makes me anxious and afraid and sometimes doubtful.
I know it’s possible for one to accomplish all their dreams, but is it possible for me? That evil, doubtful voice is always whispering in my ears, telling me reasons why it won’t happen. Well, remember you didn’t work as hard last week, she says …. And remember you’re a sinner, so why will God help you, she asks … All those other people are way more talented and connected, she says. But there’s another voice that says, “Don’t listen to that voice, anything is possible.” It’s a constant struggle going on in my head. Apart from God, Igwe is the only other one who knows the things I dream. And even at that, he doesn’t know all my fears and frustrations. Sometimes, I’m too scared and ashamed to say what’s going on in my head.
But I believe. I believe because I have to. Short of Verastic, I don’t have a Plan B. This is the only plan, so it has to work. That was my June, Sweet Potatoes. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading. I look forward to telling you about my July.
How was June for you?
*Read my previous journal entries here*
yay!
June was a bit rough at a point. grateful to God and loved ones who held me up 🙂
Thank God! Happy to hear that, Chigurl. Raising my imaginary glass to a better July. I’ll try to not be this late with the next journal. We’re half way into July. Lol.
awwww
😉