Journal #4: April 2015

Welcome to May.

In March of this year, I had a car accident. I know what you’re thinking: how come I didn’t mention it in when I did my March journal in the beginning of April? Well, I typed up my journal on March 30th (and scheduled it for April 1st) because I was confident that I knew how my month would go. Clearly, I was wrong. On Tuesday, March 31st, I was happily driving back home from hanging out with my coworkers, and then bam! It happened.

I was disoriented for a couple minutes, as you can imagine. The impact was pretty hard because my air bag went off. It smelled like something was burning in my car. I was confused. I first touched myself all over to feel if there was something broken. I remember when my cousin had a car accident and she did not know she broke her femur until she tried to step out of the car and couldn’t. So I moved around, tried to feel for something broken or maybe blood. Then I thought to myself, I should probably get out of the car because it might blow up. I called 911 and 18 seconds later, the phone was still just ringing and no one picked up. I thought I had dialed a wrong number, so I hung up and dialed again. Do you know how long 18 seconds feels during an emergency?

I was scared, then angry because this girl (the other driver) could have killed me … and all for what? [The accident was her fault]. Anyway, that’s as much as I can say about this because legally, it isn’t over yet. Therefore, the month of April was just weird. Apart from the accident, there were other things I was dealing with. When I can, I’ll tell you more. For now, what’s important is that I’m okay. I’m saddened that my dear Zoe got into her first accident, but I’m grateful that Zoe is just a car, not a person. Cars can be replaced. This is what Zoe looked like after the accident. And check this post for what Zoe looked like when I first got her in 2013  😥

Enough of the bad news. I was at a meeting on April 30th, and when I wrote the date down, it was just weird. I couldn’t believe that it was the end of April already. Where the heck did all the time go? What did I accomplish? What did I scratch off my list? Has time always gone by this fast, or is it just speeding past as I get older? But then again, I’ve been getting older since I was born, so this isn’t a valid argument.

I feel so behind. I’m even afraid to look at my list of commitments because I’m afraid that I’ll find out I’ve missed some dead lines. I don’t know how long I can avoid this for. It’s even senseless that I’m avoiding it since the longer I delay, the more time I waste, and the more likely I am to be late. I know this in my head, but the rest of my body has refused to act on what I know. Help me, Jesus.

That’s it for April. By His grace, I’ll be back in June to talk about May. Oh, my God “June” … that means half the year is gone! *totally freaking out* Anyway, thank you, and I love you for reading. How was March for you?