I’ll Never Be 30 Under 30

Sweet Potatoes, get in here, let me talk to you. So, that was how I was minding my business scrolling through Instagram the other day when I came across a post from ColorComm. Have you heard of ColorComm? It’s a community for women of color in communications.  You can check out their website here.

Ehen, as I was saying. So I was scrolling through Instagram when I came across a post from them. It was a post with multiple pictures. The first picture is below.

I read the thing and said to myself, “Gbam! I am about to be a fellow!”  Then I swiped to the next image, and it asked, “Are you a young multicultural female professional…?” And before I even got to the end of the question, I was screaming at my phone, “Yes, hayam! Yes. Ha Yam!!!” Then I read the rest of the question, and it asked, “… between the ages of 21 and 26?”  And then my heart escaped my chest.

Ahhhh. My people, that was my life flashed in front of me, and like joke, like joke, I began to realize the insult these people had given me. They said that, I, Vera VeraChukwu OluwaVera Verastic Ezimora, that I am not good enough for them? That I am too old for them? Me, natural spring water? Me, the fountain of youth? Me, Vera, the ageless? Fantastic Verastic? Vera, the magnificent? Vera wey over-sexy dey worry? Ah! I could not take the insult sitting down, so I stood up. The insult did not feel lighter when I stood up, so I paced around the room for a few minutes and realized that I was indeed over 26, and there was nothing I could do about it.

 Where did all the time go? And why was I foolishly eager to become an adult? What is so great about this adulthood sef? What can I do to relive my life of before-before just one more time?  Can I wake up one morning and not wonder what bill is due today?

Then while I was silently lamenting about being too old to become a fellow for ColoComm, I now remembered the time I used to dream of being one of the Forbes 30 Under 30 people.  And I said to myself, “Chi’m oh! [My God!] I am now even too old to be 30 Under 30.” Seriously, where did all the time go?

So that is how Vera Ezimora has never been and will never be 30 Under 30?  Will Forbes ever know my name? What about 35 Under 35? Is there such a thing? Please don’t tell me about 40 Under 40? That is too far! I want to be on the Forbes List right now. How many eggs do I need to lay to be considered great?

Okay, seriously, I am not half as pained as I sound, but I do honestly wonder where all the time went.  And I would really love to be on the Forbes List for doing something great. Until then, I’ll keep working hard.

Meanwhile, if you are a woman of color in communications and between the ages of 21 and 26, please find out how to become a fellow for ColorComm. Go big! Check their posts out on Instagram and make me proud – since I am now just a Christian Mother. Ahn!