My people, it has happened to me. Ever since I went natural, I have never, ever carried my own hair outside. And the reason is that (1) I never know what to do with it, and (2) It’s a lot more convenient for me to just do something to it, so I don’t have to bother with it everyday. That’s why I love braids (though I hate sitting to get them done, and I hate taking them out).
But this week, I decided to face my fears. So on Sunday night, I washed my hair very, very well. I deep conditioned it, washed it off, and used some leave-in conditioner. Then I proceeded to twist it because the plan was to have a twist out the next day. My hair is short and thin: double trouble. It’s not horribly short (6 inches) and it’s not horribly thin either, but it’s shorter and thinner than I’d like.
I even parted the hair in front and pinned down the twists overnight, so they’ll follow the pattern I wanted them to follow. The next day, I excitedly untwisted my hair. This is what my hair was supposed to look like, even if not this pretty:
Picture source: cherry Lola (and she also has 4a hair – though she’s mixed race)
This is what my hair actually looked like:
Look at my hair. Just look at it!!
When I pull the springs, they look like this (then they spring back to their tight coils)
My hair isn’t dyed, nor has it ever been dyed. It’s just two-toned for reasons best known to it alone.
This picture of my hair was taken after I picked everything out to the point that it started looking like an afro. I didn’t take a picture as soon as I untwisted it. Still, it had me asking my God some questions: what is the meaning of this, ehn? Who did I offend? How can my own be different from other people’s own? Which sin did I commit to deserve this? Chineke, ogini kwa’n? [God, what is it now?] Witches and wizards of bad hair, leave me alone! Get thee behind me!
I checked this hair in the mirror front to back, and I thought to myself, but this is not what the picture looks like on the internet and in those YouTube videos — and I watched sooooo many of them. I was running late to work, so I decided to be a warrior and carry this thing on my head to work.
I was so uncomfortable. Anyone that looked at me, I swore they were judging me. They were looking at me and thinking the same things I think when I see people with bad hair: what the hell were you thinking?! Go get your hair did, girl! I really, really want to let my hair breathe. No braiding. No weaving. But how am I supposed to be walking around looking like a mad woman that ran away from the institution?
To make matters worse, I had to stop by the store before going home. Ewo! I don’t think I have ever walked that briskly in and out of the store. It was as if an evil spirit was chasing me. And I kept praying, Lord, please don’t let me run into anyone I know here. How will I explain this hair? Is this how my life will go? As the girl wey resemble crase pesin because of natural hair (as the girl who looked like a mad woman because of her natural hair)? No, now. How will my readers react? What will they think of me? What if I run into one of them at the store? *faints*
And for some reason, the walk between my car to the store had so many women with beautiful braids on. Is this a sign, Lord? Are you telling me to cut this out and go get my hair did? But how can a whole me be having a bad hair day? Me?? I, Vera Ezimora, the girl who takes out her braids and gets them rebraided the next day (in spite of a sensitive scalp) because she doesn’t want a bad hair day? I, Vera Ezimora, the girl who gets pissed when people even dare to wear sleeping caps out of their homes? And now, I’m having bad hair??
I prayed. I asked God to take this plaque away from me, and I promise to never insult people with bad hair — too much. I’m still looking at this hair looking at me, no idea what to do with it. I even briefly considered going back to perming it. It was just too much. It is very, very possible that I did something wrong. But I don’t have time to be experimenting. If I worked from home, then sure whatever. But I have to go out and face people. I run into friends, acquaintances, and readers, so I cannot have bad hair!!!
Look, I don’t care what you’re praying for in this month of October, but you need to suspend and postpone that prayer and focus instead on my hair. I will vex and stop blogging oh!
P.S. I have Type 4a hair, which is coily, not curly. It reminds me of those springy things inside a pen. No matter how you stretch my hair, it retracts back to a coil.
P.P.S. I deliberately didn’t show my face in the picture of my hair. What if I want to run for President in the future, and then my opponent pulls out this picture of me with bad hair and says, “How can you vote for a girl who has this kind of hair?” *shudders*
Lol….i have been transitioning since january, but i am very tired now. Am going to perm my hair soon. But i have to admit my hair has really grown but its hard work, i dont even know how to handle it. Am done.
Nooooo! Kiky, don’t do it! Believe in your hair. Lol. It’s difficult, I agree, but keep going. It gets better. And this is coming from me. Yes.
Lol…..babe, this is me today too oh…..I decided to weave (cornrows) my natural hair today to work and I did the local “didi” (French braids) so far I have been blinded by Brazilian, Persian, Peruvian and all sorts of hair in this office , my “superwoman” mind is telling me I look like the definition of “razz”…… …..to imagine I wanna have this style for two weeks……..now I wish I was born half nigerian , half Chinese….hehehehhe…then my hair for don be “half-caste”….
I have rebuked the spirit telling me “Sykik, you are not fooooiiiinnneee with this hair” more than a million times in one hour…if I survive today, then I can survive anything. So help me God. Amen
My Hubby says the style is fine sha, but this stupid demon is telling me “what do you expect your husband to say before nko”
I’ve done the french braids to work i think about 3 times now and i get compliments. The first time though, i got a lot of weird looks. I think people are just to used to the attachments and weaves. Now, i’m rocking it so you can too 😀
Toin, I’ll try. I can’t make any promises. This one small twist out that I did had me breaking out in hives, so I’ll try. I don’t even care too much for weaves either because they’re high maintenance to me. I don’t like any hair that I have to play with. It’s just too much.
Was still rolling on my imaginary floor with laughter at Vera’s words and Sykik own suddenly join….keep rocking your french braids jare and banish those demons…
Yay…I survived day one, …..kai…?…I sat at my desk all day oh…….*covers face*
Hahahaha. I know the feeling, girl! Congrats on Day One. I’m too ashamed to even tell you what I did. No, I did not perm my hair, don’t worry.
Abiola, this one no be laughing marra at all oh. How can fine babe finish dressing up and carry jagala jagala hair dey waka everywhere?
Hahahaha. See, here’s the silly thing: if I were to see your hair, I’d most likely tell you that it’s not half as bad as you say. But I cannot take the same words for myself. Rebuke the devil very, very well. How dare it! I just wanna carry my hair and look pretty.
Your natural hair sef is even fine… lol. You should see mine on most days. The tightest curls ever…yours are a bit bigger. Sigh
Hahaha. Sisi Yemmie, I’d like to see your hair up close and personal. Your hair always looks good though. I just don’t know what to do with short natural hair.
V, I love your hair and that colour!. I actually have a couple of afro wigs that look like that. Your coils look well defined, did you use a hair band or something in front? You can totally rock that look. I’ve been natural for over 2 years now but my natural hair only sees the light of day indoors because I have no idea how to style it. It’s long, but fine. Only option is to pack it in one, and where’s the fun in that?
Can you imagine? One man’s meat is another man’s poison. You like my short hair and I want your long hair. I just don’t know what the heck to do to the hair. Like I’m all kinds of confused. I don’t have a hair band in front, but I did use a lot of bobby pins to hold it down in front.
I love the first picture!!!! I can see your coils; they are sooo pretty!! WOW.
I totally understand how you feel! First time I wore my ‘fro out, Jesus!!! I was freaking out, I felt ugly. But that is internalized white supremacy of beauty. I told myself constantly, “there is nothing wrong with the way my hair grows out of my scalp”, “it is beautiful and it is all mine”. 🙂 The first thing to do is to dismantle all ideas of what you think hair should look like. Second thing is to start experimenting with all sorts of styles and there are a million and one of them. Third, find a natural hair salon. Even their wash and gos look different from when you do them by yourself. All the best
Person, are you for real??? You love the picture? The coils are pretty???????? Are we looking at the same hair? Lol. And it’s not that I have an idea of what hair should look like. It’s that I have an idea of what MY hair should look like. Lol. It’s style experimentation that landed me in this wahala in the first place. Tehehehe. But I’ll keep trying.
Erm, what is wrong with the hair in the picture? :-S
Girl, if my hair had those kinda coils, I’d wear it out ALL THE TIME! I mean, I wear mine out frequently now, but still…
There are more than enough styles for you to do. Check out my 31 natural hairstyles in 31 days for African Naturalistas – http://www.africanaturalistas.com/2013/06/natural-hairstyles-for-31-days.html
I checked out all your styles. And I could think was, nope, can’t do that. That won’t look good on me. All the styles won’t look good on me! I know this, and no, I don’t know how I know it, but I know I’m right. Isn’t there an app for this?
Hahahahahhahaha that hair has made my day! Ok help is here first of all did you use a holding cream or pudding when you twisted? If not you should next time it will give you better results the leave in alone isn’t enough. Secondly If you are still not comfortable with wash and twist, try wash, blow dry on cool and then twist the results are much better. Or better still pop into a salon and get it pressed (flat iron or hot comb) that way you can wear it out down and straight for a while it will still give you the weave’d look without actually wearing a weave and you can give your hair the much needed break before braiding or weaving again.
Pendo, how dare you laugh at my hair!!! Lol. Yes, I used a holding cream. I used Eden Body Works’ curl something, don’t remember the exact name now. Smells great though. Hmmmm. I never thought about the flat iron/hot comb bit. I’m considering it. Girl, this natural hair thing is not beans at all.
LOL… Your hair looks great o
Thank you, Myne. You always have a way to make it all sound better. Lol.
My hair is two toned like that too. But come on Vera, it’s really not that bad. I think it’s because we are used to certain looks as good hair. So far your hair is clean and not getting in MY face, I really don’t care whether it’s nappy, springy or whatever.
But I want more, Manny! I want more. More. More. More. This isn’t enough for me. This hair I have right now, I need more of it. Longer, fuller. Still clean.
Don’t worry, even if you show your face we’d still vote for you whenever you choose to run for the president of naturalistas…lol.
You made my day with this post. I’m not alone afterall. Wearing my natural hair for the first time, three days and still counting. As I type, my hair dey under plastic cap after having a shower of oliveoil + coconut oil + eucalyptus oil + water…only this hair! But so far I’ve enjoyed it just wearing it all combed out with ‘half parting’…
Lol at all the oils. Girl, I started with all those oils and I just couldn’t keep up, so I’m gonna slow it down and stick to one oil: coconut. Because me sef, I don confuse finish. Next thing now, I’ll be pouring hot palm oil on my head.
Veraaaaaaa, my tummy hurts real bad…hot palm oil ke?
Abiola, it’s getting to that point nah. Wetin man no go hear? All kinds of oils are going on our head. I don’t want rat to come and eat my hair at night because they think it’s food.
Lol Vera! Please rock your hair because it’s beautiful. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with my hair but confidence and good posture, gestures make up for the lack of luster (or so it seems). With someone like you to brighten up any room, I don’t think anyone will pay attention! 😉
P.S. I’d give anything to learn how to make bantu knots, coils etc and actually have the same results in the video tutorials I watch. They seldom turn out right! *sigh*
Oh, Worship and Swag, you are amazing!!! You’ve got me all kinds of blushing. The people in those videos are using juju. That’s my conclusion.
Seconding the juju view jare.
Deep conditioned today and decided to try the flat twists thereafter. Had to quickly wet hair again and combed out the ‘strange’ twists with the kin eye hubby dey take look the hair. Yours is veeeeery beautiful compared with what I got. Lol.
Lol at the kin eye hubby dey take look the hair! But you’re right, after all those hours spent on following tutorials they don’t turn out right! 🙂
Ha. I can only imagine. Pretty sure that’s how Igwe will be looking at the hair when he sees it (he hasn’t seen it yet)
ℓ☺ℓ… Vera, you just made my morning. I am also growing out my natural hair but the fear of what people will say when they eventually see it is what makes me keep it beneath a weave on. Reading your post and the replies have given me the much needed confident. Thanks a lot. And your hair is lovely.
What! My post has given you confidence??? Wow. Well, thank you for reading, and I couldn’t be happier to have been some kind of help to you. Thank you to the readers too to the readers who left comments 😀
Your hair is nice, am transitioning right now started last month nothing will change my mind. Natural hair rocks!!
Thank you, Louisa. Natural hair really does rock. My problem is just how to maintain it.
Mad woman,
this girl has pwetty hair but has no clue on styling.
your creativity starts and stops with wrtitng and Verastic.com things ehn??
stop by this weekend and i’ll show u ways out.
Looo. Funmie, how dare you insult me?! Oya, take back your words before I come to your house and knock a few teeth out
Ehem. I feel as if I might be in the same predicament in a couple of days. I’ve been transitioning over a year, about a year and four months to be exact. Currently my hair are in the braids I got in Nigeria over summer break. It is time to take them down, yet I am procrastinating because I’m afraid. What if I’m clueless on how to take care of it. And my hair texture idk what is. It maybe 4a/b/c/j/z. It is thick, very very very thick and full. Shrinkage is a beast, my hair that is upper back length will want to be shorter than chin length. I’ve never really styled it and worst of all, I’m a college student. I will only buy affordable products. My definition of affordable is cheap. But honestly, it must be worthwhile at the end of the day.
Aanu, lol, I do the same thing all the time. I delay on taking my hair out until I know what exactly to do to it. But eventually, you have to take the plunge and learn as you go. Listen to me giving advise. Lol.
The thought of going natural is scary but you all make it seem easy. The scary part is when the hair gets so thick and combing it is very painful.
Missy Tee, that phase will pass quickly. I went through it for a while. But honestly, I think mine hurt more because I didn’t even know how to take care of it. Now, combing my hair doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s really, really soft. I don’t think that maintaining natural hair is easy, but it’s definitely doable.
I been natural for seven years and still don’t know what to it. It too thin and has no curl pattern. I twist it but never take the twist out just pull it into ponytail. Braids have become my best and only friend. Every two month a new braids. With a one week rest period in between. I dey try o.
I really cannot blame you. Now, let me ask you this: are your edges falling off due to the braids?
Vera no b only u tire..
I absolutely clueless with natual hair nd frustration levels are reaching the peak.
Now searching for a salon that can turn my hair into locs.
#notime i don tire.
Yewa, really? You’re going for locs. Awww. Not me. I can’t ever so something so permanent or long term to my hair. Lol. I need to always be able to change it. I get bored easily.
I’m mixed and I’ve got these kinda wide corkscrew things that go all confused and frizzy at the least provocation. If I had neat, pretty little coils like you, I wouldn’t let anyone within 4 feet of me if it looked like they might braid ’em. I’d slap their hands right away! Quit hating on your gorgeous hair! It’s voluptuous and magnificent and deserves your love!
What?! I loved mixed hair. I think mixed hair has the best of both worlds. My coils confuse the heck out of me. I don’t hate them, but I don’t know what to do with them either. Well, I hope we both find what we are looking for – hair wise.
Bumped into our blog while trawling the Net looking for inspiration for a decent twist out for my 3c/4a hair which chooses to defy all laws afro naturalness. The take down tends to reveal a mass of unruly hair with some areas super coily (this MUST be hair type 4d!) and other areas dead straight with just the faintest kink, a few ends fabulous and smooth but definitely not at all perfectly defined and fuzz free like the other girls I had expected to look like.
Your account is just hilarious and I can feel your pain, lol. I continue to fight with this hair of mine and I will conquer that twist out and continue to free it from its braided prison.