Biko Nu, I Am NOT Pregnant!!!

So, my last post about my mysterious hard nipples got more pregnancy-related comments than I cared to have. I currently do not care to have any. I now feel the need to come back and explain further. At the beginning of the post, I said, “Lately, my nipples have become advanced …” I should have explained that by lately, I meant, Since December 2009 or thereabout. If I were pregnant … oh, never mind! I don’t even know why I’m entertaining this thought. 

Secondly, there are two questions (from commenters) that I promised I would come back and respond to. Today is the day.

Anonymous 3 commented, Hi Vera, I totally understand what you are going through. Have you tried nipple covers? (I hope that is what they are called?) It can be a bit of wahala. Info on any other thing you have tried will be indeed helpful.

My response: No, I have not tried nipple covers. Per what else I have done, well, my breasts are not small (Femi, shut up in advance!), so I try to stay away from padded bras. Anything that will make them appear bigger is not in my best interest. On that note, for the sake of my hard nipples, I have gone against my preference and worn padded bras anyway. But these nipples, when they become hard, there’s no repressing them. They get really hard and really big. Graphic, I know. I have worn double layers of clothing, and I have tried my best to stay away from the cold, but all attempts have been null and void. When they do get hard, I usually press them down with my thumbs. This, of course, is an action that can only be done in private.

Rethots commented,…what I say in response to this question…’ maybe you should just say.”

My response: When people see my hard nipples and ask, “But Vera, what are you thinking about?” Sometimes, I try to give a genuine answer. I say something like, “Oh, nothing. It’s just the cold.” Or “Nothing. They’re just acting up.” And of course, sometimes, I laugh and say, “It’s not what you’re thinking.” When I say this, the asker then adds, “How do you know what I’m thinking?” Either way, the asker keeps winking and his/her eyebrows continue to go up and down rapidly.

P.S. If you have not heard, Aloofa has threatened that if he does not see a picture of my nipples when he comes back to my blog, he will start a movement. It will be called the People’s Democratic Front for the Viewing Of Vera’s Glorious Nipples (PDFVVGN).

…And all I’m thinking is, he called them glorious J

Glorious: Magnificent, Splendid, Wonderful, Celebrated, Superb, Famous.

Why don’t we all try to pretend not to know the implication of a pair of nipples being famous? Again, let’s remember that Aloofa called them glorious! (Without the exclamation mark, but I’m sure he was thinking it).

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  1. Myne Whitman says

    Of course you know I was joking right? Pele sha. As for the nipples wahala, hmmm…I have no idea what to do…

  2. El Divine says

    i guess them nipples were the last frontier for ur hormones to overcome, now, they are fully matured so get used to it lol.

  3. Niyi Charles says

    I am really impressed with your writing style and your gut– daring to turn the condition of your breast into an object of public debate and discourse.

    The psychologist in me won't let me rest. I will like to know. How did you come to that point where you decide to write about it?

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