So far in my life, I have lived in three countries and in three continents (or four continents, depending on where you believe Russia is located). First, I lived in Russia which is located on the bother of Asia and Europe. Some people call it Europe, some call it Asia, and some others just call it Eurasia. I personally could not care less. Then I lived in Nigeria, located in the continent of Africa. Contrary to ignorant belief, Africa is actually not a country. And now, I’m in America, located in the continent of North America. I have spent majority of my life in America. In fact, my time in America is more than my time in Nigeria and Russia combined.
Although I was born in Russia, you will never hear me refer to myself as a Russian. I don’t call myself an American either. If it pleases the American people to call me African-American, then they may do so. But I am not under the illusion that I am actually any type of American. American citizenship only makes me American on paper, and even if the American people want me to think otherwise, I know better. There are many things that remind me everyday that if shit hits the fan, my citizenship can be stripped and my ass will be on the first thing flying back to Nigeria. But I do love America.
My facial expression when I’m wondering why some Nigerians think they’re better than the rest because they live outside Nigeria
That’s why I never understand it when I hear Nigerians say things like, “Me, I can never live in Nigeria oh!” It is annoying as it is ignorant. And funny, too, when you consider who is saying it. When someone who has spent most of their lives outside Nigeria say it, it makes sense because they do not know that life. And I am not referring to someone like me who once lived in Nigeria. I’m talking about someone who never lived in Nigeria, or who maybe spent the first couple years of their lives in Nigeria. Their willingness to live in Nigeria, a country they technically do not know is as likely as my willingness to live in Iran. No offense to the Iranian people.
However, it’s not these people who have barely lived in Nigeria who say these things. No, it’s the ones who have actually lived in Nigeria. And not the ones who have spent my amount of time. No, it’s the ones who were born and raised in a remote village, who went to a school where English was the second language, who never lived in a big Nigerian city like Lagos or Port Harcourt or Abuja, and whose current presence in America is the result of winning the visa lottery or being filed for by a spouse or fiance.
The ones who were too broke to have a good generator, the ones who paid their school fees late, the ones who did not have a family car, the ones whose roofs leaked with every rainfall, the ones whose stay in America has had no impact on their mentality or thinking ways, the ones who still think that a woman’s place is in the kitchen (or on a bed with her legs wide open) and that it is a man’s birthright to sleep with everything his eyes sees, and whose accomplishments in America are micro and limited at best, and whose idea of living is working round the clock to look rich and stay broke. It is them who say these things. Meanwhile, there are people who never left Nigeria who are moving mountains, making history, changing lives, and giving the others a run for their money.
I am not saying that every Nigerian needs to pack their kaya and return home. No, not at all. People have different reasons for preferring to live wherever it is that they live. It’s okay if a Nigerian prefers to live outside of Nigeria, and God knows, there are many, many reasons to want to live outside of Nigeria. But to utter that they can now never live in Nigeria because of potholes and unstable electricity is humorous at best. How did they live there before? What if they had never gotten out? What makes them think they are better than the Nigerians who live there? And instead of preferring to enjoy the amenities that someone else produced in a foreign country, why not try to produce the same or better in Nigeria – so that someone else can prefer to live in Nigeria?
Being a Nigerian in a foreign country has afforded me a lot of insight and different points of view. America will never stop being in my heart because she gave me so many opportunities, because I became an adult here, and because I widened my mental horizon here. I sometimes try to imagine what my life would have been like if I had taken a different route, like if I had never come to America and stayed in Nigeria instead. Or like if I had gone to college at Clark Atlanta as I so badly wanted to. Like if I had not failed out of Nursing school. Would I be here today? Would I be a writer? Would I have started a business? Would I have met or married Igwe? Would God have found a way to still make all these happen in spite of the different route I had taken? There is no way to know.
I digress. The point is that we, Nigerians need to learn how to be patriotic to our country, and it goes beyond waiving a flag on Independence Day or joining the trending hash tags on Nigerian Twitter. No, Nigeria is not close to perfect, and yes, we have a very long way to go and a laundry list of things to fix. But don’t be the person who points out all the problems and never offers a solution. Don’t go around saying reckless things like how you’re unable to live in the country that belongs to you. When you do that, you become a part of the problem. There is a Nigerian proverb that says that if the owner of the calabash calls it a trash can, then the neighbors will join in calling the calabash a trash can. Stop calling Nigeria a trash can.
The truth is that as a Black person in America, America primarily sees you as Black. We, Nigerians and Africans know that we are not just Black (not that there’s anything wrong with being Black), but America does not care. You may have to work twice as hard to accomplish half as much as your White counterpart. I am not at all implying that being Black in America means that you can never accomplish your dreams, of course not, and if anyone tells you that, please disregard it. Believing that being Black is a burden instead of a blessing will send you into a downward spiral of failure, lack of accountability, and contentment with mediocrity. You do not want that. Unless you actually do, in which case, I cannot help you.
As for me, I am a proud Nigerian, and I look forward to the day I can live on Nigerian soil again. Also, Ada Verastic may have been born in America, and she may have more rights than me (like she can actually run for President) but she will be taught to know that she is first Nigerian and should not be caught saying, “I’m American, but my parents are Nigerian.” Statements like that will be rewarded with Nigerian slaps on both cheeks, followed by twenty-four lashes of two-mouth koboko.
With that said, what kind of Nigerian are you?
A bit judgmental oh Verastic. Paragraph 5 in your piece does give a few reasons for people to never want to associate with Nigeria (they’d rather slug it out in Afghanistan – and we have cases by the way). I haven’t walked in their shoes, but nigeria is stressful to live in, no matter how rich or poor you are. Like, I would totally understand if people in Borno for example don’t wanna EVER come back here if they get out to Congo or Cameroon or wherever. I live here (born and raised). I have never left the African continent (so I haven’t seen what goes on in the Nigerian emigration hotbeds), I earn 6 figure salary, going on 7 sef. But I still feel the pinch sometimes. I do admit it’s never enough for me to say I’m fed up. Queuing up at embassies and paper work for visas are more like nightmares for me. All I’m saying – you need to further segment the group of people you’re referring to, cos some of them have valid reasons to utter that.
Thumbs up… But then it’s her opinion
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Vera, I sort of agree with Tunde. I think what may be irking you might be the way some people say it with a touch of disdain like OMG I can never live in Nigeria. These people say it to give an impression that is not.
It is different from someone honestly and bluntly saying omo I no fit live in 9ja oh. As I don comot, I don comot be that.
Oh and I used to sneer at kids that would say I’m American but my parents are Nigerian. Not anymore. If they were born in the US and have lived their entire lives in the US, why should we expect them to be anything but American? That’s what they are.
Manny, you’re right. It’s not that someone prefers to live somewhere else, it’s the reason for why they think they have become too good for Nigeria. The place that these people prefer is someone else’s land that they have sweated for. Per the children bit … I don’t like when children say they’re from one place while their parents are from another BUT I am more concerned about my own child. Also, sometimes, it’s just another reminder of our self-hate.
Hey, Tunde, your response and everyone else’s shows that I have done a bad job at effectively communicating my thoughts. Let me try to explain. It’s not people who have gone through this or that that I’m referring to, and it’s not even the decision or preference to live someplace else that is the issue. It’s the people whose sole (or major) reason for saying they cannot live in Nigeria is because there are just too many potholes or not enough life, especially if said people aren’t even doing much wherever it is that they are. I have met too many Nigerians here who look down on Nigeria and Nigerians in Nigeria but when you look at what both of them have accomplished, you will see that the person in Nigeria has actually done more, especially considering his/her sometimes limited resources.
Vera, I could just give you a kiss for this post…Americans plus the immigrants made the USA what it is today.It took the people to make the country what its is.@Tunde how have you helped your community in some way or the other,how many times have you violated traffic rules or have you come out to run for public office to actualize your dreams for Nigeria.I feel as Nigerians we are our own enemies.We say USA is organised and the system is working,Yes,but they did it.I always use this as a reference-if you take Nigerians to the USA and Bring the people there to Nigeria.America as we know it will crumble and Nigeria will propers. – So it takes people like tunde,me and the millions of nigerians living in it to want a better Nigeria and WORK towards it.
@Tunde how have you helped your community in some way or the other,how many times have you violated traffic rules or have you come out to run for public office to actualize your dreams for Nigeria.
I’m wondering what Tunde wrote to warrant asking those questions?
TheIsokoGirl, I completely understand and agree with where you’re coming from. It really is the people. If we all decide that Nigeria is just too much for us, then who will do it? We’ll just leave it for the next generation, like the one before us did.
@Manny Thanks oh! Pls help me ask. I don’t know how we arrived at @theisokogirl’s questions. I am basically saying there may be people who have a legit reason to say those things. Cikena! If Nigeria is not paying you or you are a victim of circumstance, MOVE as long as it is what you want (a-la Verastic). If you wanna slug it out, answer @theisokogirl’s questions ant take action. Gaskiyya!
Wow. I like you Vera but im afraid i do not agree with this condescending and judgemental piece. I was born and bred in Nigeria, i would call my family middle class or lower middle class depends on he period of the year. I moved away from Nigeria at age 27 and i can say right now that i would not want to move back to Nigeria especially as things are even worse than they were when i left. Maybe you should try going back wihout the frills, no generator, fear as you drive at whatever time of the day because your windows could be smashed, no water or brown dirty water but you will manage. Generator noises, fuel queues as long as san Francisco bridge, no hope, your salsry delayed or slashed unceremoniously and knowing you cant just quit because there’s nothing else.
If you think people who say this are unpatriotic, we are sorry but ive been following your blog for sometime and I haven’t even seen you mention visiting Nigeria or ‘giving’ back or helping Nigeria get better because everyone knows the problems with Nigeria are complex and i cannot solve them. If a place has been tough and difficult for a person, only makes sense for them to look for opportunities to move away and not return, no?
As for the identity issue, identity is unique. Some people relate better with a particular tribe or place than others. Eg, my friend was born in Nigeria, grew up in london and now lives in germany. When asked where she’s from, she says England, cos thats all the memories she has of growing up ans growing to school, who are you to judge that?
I’m really, really sorry that you feel that way (and thank you so much for reading Verastic). I will try my best to explain where I was coming from (but I have not changed my position on this issue) Like I said to Tunde, I should have been clearer in who exactly I was talking about. No, living in Nigeria is not easy by any measure, I know that. And the easier thing may very well be to leave, if one has that option. People have different reasons for leaving and for deciding to not return. I cannot count all the reasons, but I was (am) focused on the people who say that they cannot live there because eww at the bad roads and lack of unstable light. There are too many ways to give back to Nigeria (and Nigerians), please don’t assume to know that I don’t. I don’t think that it’s something I need to declare publicly, unless I need you to know because I want you to join me in doing it, too. As for your friend, it’s nice of her to be from England. I am really more concerned about what Ada Verastic says than I am about what anyone else says. Yes, I have a preference, but I won’t be starting a revolution about it.
I dont think you read through this article very well because i just read it again and it makes no sense. Of course, even though i have lived through all the bad of Nigeria i can still say i dont want to live there again because i have tasted the good life. You can see that things can run efficiently and that not everyone is out to cheat you and people are transparent. So why would i want to go back? Why would anyone want to go back to worse circumstances than their current comfortable circumstance?
Hi vera,i have never commented, so this is my first. You are too wrong if I must say. You didn’t not grow up in the slums of nigeria, neither did you go through the. Suffering of not having enough to eat, unable to pay school fees, no jobs, noise/air/water pollution, mosquitoes and rats living with you like they own your home, terrible medical facilities, failed education system, to name but a few. If you did, and somehow got lucky to win a visa lottery or got an opportunity to travel out to a better living condition such as US… I bet you won’t want to go back to such inpoverish conditions. Dnt be too quick to judge them cos you didn’t wear their ‘shoes’…
Labake, thanks for commenting. In order not to repeat myself again, I’ll just say you should read my replies above.
.Hi vera,i have never commented, so this is my first. You are too wrong if I must say. You didn’t not grow up in the slums of nigeria, neither did you go through the. Suffering of not having enough to eat, unable to pay school fees, no jobs, noise/air/water pollution, mosquitoes and rats living with you like they own your home, terrible medical facilities, failed education system, to name but a few. If you did, and somehow got lucky to win a visa lottery or got an opportunity to travel out to a better living condition such as US… I bet you won’t want to go back to such inpoverish conditions. Dnt be too quick to judge them cos you didn’t wear their ‘shoes’…