Before the illness started, she was so full of life
You don’t have to read this blog forever to know that I have a special friend, Funmie. Well, Funmie is always a happy and overly dramatic person, but recently, she has encountered what might be a life-altering problem, so I’d really appreciate it if you take a minute from your day to pray for Funmie and her situation.
Funmie has been experiencing depression, heart palpitations, anxiety, and sudden bouts of frustration. Life has dealt her a hard blow, and like most people, she was not expecting it. Now that it’s here, she feels so alone and helpless. I have tried my best to help her, but there are limits to the things I can do. Perhaps a prayer form you and an encouraging comment will make her feel better.
You see, for the past donkey years, Funmie has been using a Blackberry. We, the people – the voices of reason – have pleaded with her, cajoled her, begged her to switch and enter the land of people with personalities, but she refused. Every time something goes wrong with her Blackberry, we hold out hope that this will be the time she will finally switch, but like clockwork, she goes and gets herself yet another Blackberry.
Recently, her Blackberry screen cracked – to God Almighty be all the glory – and the holy spirit inhabited Funmie and made her get a new phone. Drum roll … wait for it … a Samsung Galaxy S4. Like an Audi, she went zero to sixty in 4 seconds. Unlike an Audi, though, she is unable to keep up. Everything is a problem. Texting, calling, answering calls, browsing the web, saving numbers … you should really see her typing on this phone. And even after the phone came, it took her 5 days to activate it. Who does that? I could not wait to start using my Samsung Galaxy S3 when I got it last year. I couldn’t even wait for it to charge. I plugged it in and started using it immediately.
Funmie (in her own words) has been experiencing heart palpitations, anxiety, and many other mental and physical illnesses, due to the over-sabi of her new phone. She feels intimidated that her smart phone actually dares to be smart and smarter than her. I have encouraged her to enroll in my class: Android For Dummies, but she is yet to commit. The class is absolutely free, by the way. When I saw her at the baby shower on Sunday, I tried to show her some things, point her in the right direction, but she was reacting like I was teaching her Chinese Calculus in Russian. The thing refused to enter her head. In Igbo Land, we call this kind of head itibolibo (spelling?).
Funmie’s before and after phones
So, please, my sweeties, take a moment to pray for her. Tell your God to show mercy and open Funmie’s head to receive new information. Delete every spirit of Blackberry from her. Cast it. Bind it. Forbid it. Cancel it. Destroy it. Condemn it. Break it. Dismantle it. Kill it. Decree and declare that it will not prevail against Funmie. Cleanse Funmie. Sanctify Funmie. Purify Funmie. And the sweeties said … Amen! Leave your prayers and encouraging words in the comment box.
P.S. Before Funmie got the Samsung Galaxy S4, I actually told her to get the iPhone 5(s), which in my opinion is less complicated, but she didn’t listen. And then, yesterday, I read it on CNET that the Samsung Galaxy S4 is a great – but complicated – phone, and it was recommended to use the iPhone instead, if you’re not very tech savvy. Hi Funmie!
P.P.S. I love you right back, Funmie 😉
Vera you are not very alright. Hian, for am moment I thought funmi was actually ill. I prophesy freedom from the berry into her life, total liberation into android world. Amen
Amen! Sister Funmie, receive it! Thank you, Temmy
You are well in Jesus name, Vera! Ahn ahn?! Which kind post be this? Mcheww! May Funmi’s health continue to flourish from galaxy to galaxy, amen! And I wish her a berry long life and prosperity. Best of both worlds jare.
Looool at from galaxy to galaxy. Hahahaha. I’ve got prayer warriors reading this blog apparently.
lmao! Chai if you see fear when i clicked on the post! I actually thought my beloved funmie was dying!!! Stop eeeet! LOL. I think I might get the S4, im not sure yet sha,,,,Vera do you blog with your S3? how’s it?
Sisi Yemmie, I’m terribly sorry for this late reply. No, I don’t blog with my phone. Not because I can’t, but because I love seeing my words on a big screen. In fact, I prefer a desktop computer over a laptop sef.
LOOOOOOOOL, I just knew it was something silly!
Dear Funmie, please tell Vera to take her time. It took me almost a month to start using my S4, and it cracked less than a week later. Tell Vera that you will come around and learn how to use the phone little by little.
Signed,
Ex-BB Addicts Management
Lol at Ex-BB Addicts Management. Borof you will be fine. She has stared using the phone more, but not quite there yet. As for me, I’m waiting for the S 5. You cracked your screen? Ouch. Sorry.
Vera, mind yourself o. Was really worried for a few seconds. Dear Funmie, it is well with you o and may your problems never be greater than which phone, which car, which house and so on.
I am team BB until foreclosure of RIM does us part.
Tinks, you’re not serious at all. You’re waiting for foreclosure abi? RIM themselves will soon send you a letter, begging for you to leave them already biko. Lol. Really, my post might read like I’m anti BB, but I’m not. I loved my Blackberry until it started frustrating me, and if BB were to ever be the best phone on the market, I would go back in a heartbeat.
Vera you scared me for a minute.
Loool. Sorry Quadri! Long time, no see. Hope you’re good?
Vera! Vera! Vera! (drawing ear) how many times did I call you? Mind yourself o! I was so scared.
You called me 3 times! And yes aunty, I don hear 😉
vera Oloun i go whooze u o. why did you scare me like that. i was like full of life?? Chim o what has happened.
Hahaha. You’re welcome, Chichi
What a scare.
You’re welcome 😀
I am ALIVE and WELL!!!
(Y’ll dont wanna know how long n how many typos it took to write this #sigh)
Awwww. Pele, my love. It is well with you.
Vera that wasn’t funny -___-. You actually made my heart sink to my stomach,,, Anyways congrats ooh Funmie! I too just made the switch from blackberry to Samsung galaxy, I was really depressed for the first week, but now I realize what I have been missing, the galaxy life is the way forward!
Lady G! Thank you for directing my friend toward the light. Pele for your heart sinking. Bad Vera! *slaps back of hand*
Kai! Do you know the fear that grabbed me? Don’t do that again o!
Lol Funmie will get around to it eventually. Took me eons to make my brother abandon his bb and actually start using his S4. Now, he thinks S4 is the best thing after sliced bread.
Ms. Dawari, that’s what happens to a lot of people. First, they are confused by the Samsung phone. Then next, it’s crazy love. Congrats to your brother!
I was SOOOOOOO Scared. AH.
Awwww. Poor baby. Sorry! Don’t mind that Vera girl!
Typical Vera style…..but we still fall for it everytime. Haba!!
Funmi…the S4 is a fantastic phone and if you can just be calm and relax, you’d see how it really wants to be your friend and life companion.
That said….I’m off to my closet to drop a few lines to the MH.
Ogo … looool I love that you still fall for it. It means my juju is still valid.
I was already praying for funmi…….I know that feeling I got a new iphone but can’t do without my bb :).
Angela, what do you want to do on your BB that you can’t do on your iPhone, especially now that BBM is on the iPhone, too? And err, thank you for praying for Funmie. Lol.
#1. I am NOTTTTT overly dramatic.. well, maybe a little
#2. BB works just fine… nor be to call and text? Boi, technology don advance. what novice i will be when my kids grow up
#3. you didn’t add HEADACHE to the list… I got headaches, i mean real head pounding headaches for the first week from me tryna comprehend this phone… CRAZY
its gotten better tho :), me don dey advance. Typos are the most annoying of them all (oh QWERTY keyboard, oh i miss thee) I got me a stylus pen, hope it helps (more like, hope i don’t loose it too soon)
For those that prayed for me, May God answer all your prayers.
i bless God that i am alive and well.
I pray that my next BIG problem will be which house to buy ijn.
and the church says….. AMENNNNNNN
p.s – being friends with Vera = my LIFE on BLAST.
P.s.s – Love you (NOT) Vera. I just cannot imagine my life without you (I can, it will be peaceful and less dramatic)
P.s.s.s -I just couldnt type all these from that S4, the typos will drive me nuts and i might have pulled out all my teeth if i attempted. #sigh. IT WILL ONLY GET BETTER, i know!!! life is just a phase, just like the BB craze, this too shall pass.
Fufu, all you have done is prove to the people that I am right and that everything I said about you is true. Don’t worry, I love you, too.
Team blackberry for life
:p
Lol. Okay Yeva … not for long :p