My Neighbor, Tatiana Won’t Leave My Window!

Remember my neighbor, Tatiana? I blogged about her here. I thought she was mad before, but now I’m convinced that she is really, really mad. First of all, our apartment has a front and a back section. We live in the front section, overlooking the parking lot, while Tatiana lives in the back section, overlooking nature. Everyone parks in front, as does Tatiana.

Her car barely ever leaves its spot. At first, I thought I just happened to notice the car only after it had been driven (and repeatedly parked in the same spot), but now I know better. Tatiana doesn’t actually drive her car. She sits in it, stands by it, cleans it, but never drives it. Someone is always dropping her off or picking her up. And then, they stay outside and shout, all in the name of chatting. And how do I know? Because this woman is friggin’ loud, and for some reason, she’s always by my bedroom window, which also overlooks the parking lot.

Tatiana is always outside, standing by her car, and talking shouting at her cell phone. Without even trying to listen, I hear ALL of Tatiana’s conversation. There is so much she hasn’t told me about herself, but there is so much I know. Here are a few things I know about Tatiana:

1.  Her boyfriend is apparently a piece of shit (her words) because he won’t work and he sleeps all day, although he gives her money for bills (I assume he’s receiving some kind of government benefit).

2.  Her birthday is September 19th. She’ll be 46 then, and she has told him that he will no longer be with her when she turns 46 because he’s a bum.

3.  Her boyfriend does not dress as nicely as she does (she doesn’t dress nicely, but obviously, she doesn’t know this).

4.  She doesn’t like it when she calls anyone and the person does not pick up. No one is important enough to miss her calls.

5.  She especially doesn’t need her boyfriend in her life because she is about to start making $17.50 an hour as a Teacher’s Assistant — once she completes the remaining 11 credits to get certified.

6.  On the phone, she yelled at her daughter’s friend for not going out with the N*gga that she introduced her to. Tatiana said to her, “Girl, you shoulda went with that N*gga. He work for the City! And he wanted to take you out for dinner. When a N*gga offer to pay for your dinner, you go!”

7.  Tatiana hates our apartment complex because it’s too expensive, but she doesn’t care anymore because she’s “moving out no how.” (She says this to practically everyone on the phone, but she’s yet to move out.)

I used to think that it was only by coincidence that she happens to be outside on her phone while I’m sleeping, but I now realize that she actually comes outside just to talk. By the time she shouts and shouts on her phone with everyone and she runs out of who to call, she literally starts stopping neighbors to ask them the most mundane questions. Are you new here? What’s your name? When did you move in? What unit do you live in? Which car is yours?

You may not consider these questions mundane, but they are when you consider who they’re coming from and why’s she asking them. I think she’s just a restless woman, and I’m not sure why. Oh, and you should hear the way she talks to her boyfriend. She yells at him, throws all the fucks in the world at him, and some day, I’ll be expecting her to pull his ear and knock his head. She talks to him like he’s her child, a dumb child that wouldn’t listen to his mother’s instructions. And I have never, ever heard the man talk back. I don’t know if it’s because he’s so used to her that he doesn’t pay her any mind anymore or if he’s afraid of her, or if he’s weak, I don’t know. I know I don’t know much about the dynamics of their relationship, so I’m only making my judgments based on the information that Tatiana has forced me to know through my window.

While I may be making light of this on here, it is so extremely annoying when I’m in that early morning sweet sleep and then all of a sudden, from the pits of annoyance, I am awoken by the annoying voice of Tatiana. It’s painful. Sometimes she just comes outside and stands by the car, waiting for someone to start a conversation