That’s what the past 17 days of my life has felt like: party, party, party! Or let me rephrase it, “Fun, fun, fun!!!” Yes, Sir! I have actually been having fun. I, Vera Ezimora whose only known method of fun used to be weddings, baby showers, bridal showers, movies, and bowling. Yes, I have now evolved to a new level of fun – the type of fun where I hop on a plane and fly to a place where they paint their homes pink and yellow. Happy, happy place, it seems. Nothing compared to the red brick buildings in Maryland. But I digress.
Let me tell you what I was able to accomplish in the past 17 days – some in Maryland, and some in other places:
- I went jet skiing for the first time in my life.
- I attended a Nigerian Independence party that was really nice. I got to dance with the DJ whom I found rather sexy. I could not take my eyes off him, so I had to dance with him. I’m all better now.
- Managed to catch a cold – somehow. I’m still coughing. Mr. Shoes forced me to drink all sorts of tea – including something that smelled like Theraflu – even though it was called tea.
- That’s his hand there, so he can’t say he didn’t do it, and that’s the theraflu-smelling tea
Went to a Lebanese restaurant and had a shawarma pita sandwich for the first time 
Was taken on a surprise trip [by Mr. Shoes] to a private resort. I’m still shivering. I’ve never been anywhere that nice before, and on that note, Mr. Shoes needs to be warned to stop calling me Mgbeke before I arrange a street beating for him. Funmi suggested that I steal the curtains from the room and bring them back to Baltimore. I did consider it, but they were heavy. They would have made my luggage go past fifty pounds.- I found out that even with high heels and a huge scarf, Mr. Shoes is still taller than me.
- I learnt how to use Goal Seek on Microsoft Excel. Let me rephrase that: I had an assignment that prompted me to use Goal Seek. Mr. Shoes taught me how to do it. And no, I don’t know how to do it, so don’t bother asking, but yes, I turned in my assignment.J
- I attended an Island Carnival [for the first time in my life] where I saw these really long dreads. Wonder how long it took him to grow them.
- Ms. Flow showed up at some point. It’s never complete unless it gets bloody. You can say I had a bloody fun time. Hehe.
- I went swimming. Mr. Shoes might beg to differ. He’ll probably say, “She went standing in the pool…” Well, whatever. I got into the pool. I got wet. That’s it. I went swimming. End of the story.
- While Mr. Shoes and I walked down the hallway, he was being bad – whatever that means – so I spanked his behind. Imagine our shock when we heard a lady’s voice behind us, “Go ‘head, gurl… spank it!!!” Well, at that point, I had no choice but to spank it.
- I got my butt and my ego severely bruised by Mr. Shoes in several games of WHOT. He straight up kicked my behind. In my defense, I have not played the game in years. These losses should not be held against me.
- I guzzled more La Creme yogurts than I care to remember. That yogurt is from heaven. Angel Gabriel’s wife must have whipped it up herself.
- I was told by Mr. Shoes that the relationship between me and my breasts would have to change. He claims I was touching them while we were at the post office. Where’s the proof??
- I ate the best ora soup, cooked by Princess U. Speaking of Princess U, she still owes me a pot of peppersoup. I have not forgotten.
- I watched and listened to friends do some deafening karaoke. Unfortunately, no Advil liquigels or earplugs were close by.J
- I watched the movie, Couple’s Retreat with Mr. Shoes. After that, I realized that we might need to attend a retreat of our own to learn how to keep up with each other. I need to be on roller skates to be able to keep up with his walking. Either that, or we continue the way we’ve been doing it: I hang on to his right arm and run along with him while he walks.
- Poster courtesy of www.allmovieposter.com
- I made new friends.
- I ran into Mr. Kisser and pretended not to know who the heck he was.
- I finally got to knead some dough.
Fun enough for you? Considering the amount of fun I’m accustomed to having – which is really not a lot – I’d say I have had enough new fun to last me the entire year and then some, but I won’t mind having more of this type of fun, of course — especially the spanking butt part of it. Good stuff.
Verastically Speakin’: Hope everyone is looking forward to the show on Saturday – The Nigerians Did It? We’ll be talking about the Sony PS3 ad and the District 9 movie. I’m going to see the movie later today. I have a fantabulous co-host!! Can’t wait to talk with him on Saturday. Yippee! If you have questions/comments for the show, now is the time to send them in radio@verastic.com. See you at 10am U.S. EST (3pm GMT).
P.S. I know it’s late, but please do the poll. It’s on the top of the right sidebar. Thank you!!
How did you catch the cold? Vera?
Now you are definitely having fun and relaxing…lol @ the spank…
I had not seen the pictures when i commented…wont have minded seeing a picture for each line in the post 🙂
I´m recovering from a cold as well ….You had all that fun in 17 days..Go on Vera!
wow 17days… that was a lot to do during that time and it's good that you had fun especially w/mister shoes o… a private resort u say? 😛 butt spanking… what's next o..
went to see the movie Couples Retreat as well but didnt enjoy it. fell asleep. Bob says maybe I should watch it again earlier in the day…
LMAO Vera you know when you wrote:
"finally got to knead some dough"
I misread it at first as:
"finally got some head though"
Ahahahaha…Vera that is always going on and on and on and on and and on about oral sex! Lol!
xxx
LOOOOL BLOODY FUN TIME!!… Flow is always there representing…lol. But you went jet skiiing I want! And lol @ ignoring mr. Kisser.
x!
"Imagine our shock when we heard a lady's voice behind us, "Go 'head, gurl… spank it!!!" Well, at that point, I had no choice but to spank it."
Vera, we can't hang any more *smh*
LMAO!Sounds like you guys had fun 🙂
Vera I'm jealous o! Private holiday resort with Mr Shoes! Hmmmmmmm
Wait a minute, did y'all get married and go on honeymoon without telling us??
shuuuuu rita abi u want the whole space on this commentin section??
loool…vera and ur BLODDY fun!!
u cant swim vera???
*smh*
How many teabags in that cup? 🙂 You sound like you are buzzing. That's how you know you were having a good time.
Congrats and welcome back Vera. Now this sounds like a honeymoon to mee ooo. LOL…enjoy!
nne only you? this sounds like wat too much fun for one person. can you feel my hateration? lol
Aww, I'm glad you were able to have a blast! You already said it but I was going to say that judging from that pic of Mr. Shoes, he's a tall fella (look how far above the top of the counter his waist is!).
I love that he's taking care of you! 3 cheers for him.
Go on Vera spank that!!..lol!! Yes you had fun hon and glad you did
All I saw was Mr shoes, mr shoes…Glad you had fun with Mr shoes.
Sounds like you had a blast! enjoy jare….
Lol nice weekend.
Someone sure had a swell time with all the butt spankin..hehe..
was that all there was to it?? .lol..you sure you gave every detail? haha..just being nutty..
Nice one..
Hey, when you put "Ms Flow" and "Swimming" on the same page, all I can say is "eeeeeeew"!
aww sounds like a swell time! Glad your living the life babe..xx!
did you go to St. Lucia? cos odikwa very familiar! lol! yeah, im now part igbo!
lol…you must have had a lottttt of fun.
Rita: My dear, I wish I knew how I caught the cold for real. The weather has changed in MD anyway, so the cold bug has been going all around. Guess that's how. I don't know what else you're thinking oh. LOL. And yes, I'm having fun and relaxing – for sure … or at least I was. LOL @ wanting a picture for every line. I wish I had captured myself spanking his butt. That woulda been good.
Joicee: Yes oh… all in 17 days! It's not such a bad idea for a babe to be spoiled every now and then sebi? 🙂
Diamond Hawk: Yes ooo, a private resort! Butt spanking and all. What's next? I don't know. Time will tell. Sure don't mind doing some butt spanking. lol. You fell asleep during Couples Retreat? Aww. You should definitely see it again then.
T: LOL!!! Mr. Shoes and I could not stop laughing @ your comment. See oh, you're just projecting your own thoughts on me. I no kuku talk anything about getting head. Hehehe. See your mouth.
Bob IJ: I'll trade you my jet skiing experience for that your new coat from London. *wink, wink*
C_U_O: You need to hang oo. You need to hang. I had mad fun. You no need to ask question. Pikshure dey ooo, but as I come be anonymous, e get as e come be na… you know?
Kike: Hahaha. Well, as far as I can remember, I did not get married, and neither did I go on a honeymoon. My honeymoon can't last for only 17 days!! Hehehe.
Gee: Free Rita jare. She's welcome to monopolize the comment section as much as she wants. There's enough space for everyone. Bloody fun indeed. My dear, I can't swim oh. Biko, leave me jare. I'll learn some day.
Caramel: I was definitely buzzing – but it wasn't on the tea bags. I had wayyyy too much fun. Chei, the days just went by so fast. What I would give for a do over. ***SIGH***
Myne Whitman: No be honeymoon biko. My honeymoon would last for at least six months in 12 different countries. Yes, ke!! In short, I fit born pikin during the honeymoon sef.
Reverence: It wasn't too much ooo! It was a whole lot more than I'm used to, but I could have taken some more. I'm craving some more right now as I type this sef.
Good Naija Girl: Yeah, he's pretty tall. Please stop giving him the cheers; you're making his head swell. Give me the cheers instead. I deserve it, darn it!
Shona: I trust you na! On top everything wey I write, na only the spanking part you see to comment on, but since you insist, I must spank it. It would be rude not to.
TayneMent: I thought the same thing too after I posted it. Mr. Shoes was mentioned so many times. **SIGH** This must be juju. E no dey natural at all.
Tatababe: Thanks, babe!! I sure did have a blast. One life to live, right?
Azazel: Tell me about it. I'm still buzzing from it sef.
Trybes: Are you sure you want every detail? Ask and ye shall get it. You want it? Hehehehe.
Anonymous: If it makes you feel any better, Ms. Flow was not there when I went swimming. Even if she was sef… kpata kpata, the water would have changed its color a little. Hehehehe. Have I totally eww'd you some more? Hehehehe.
Ms. O: I had fun for both of us. U know I had you in mind while I was out there 🙂
Bumight: I see. Part Igbo ehn? Well, how much are you willing to pay for me to tell you where I went to? Ngwa, talk fast before I change my mind. Adikwa'm very serious ooo
Leggy: My dear, you can say that again and again and again. I can't even deny it.
Yes o Mrs shoes..I want a detailed account step by step..LOL
Yay Vee, glad you had so much fun. Life's for the living, you go girl. Good on you Mr. Shoes for giving her such a treat 🙂
Just saw ur blog and I LOVE IT!!! good work
Trybes: Oh, my goodness… you too, you're calling me Mrs. Shoes? Funny. Even off my blog, people are calling me Mrs. Shoes. Odikwa very serious. Ehen… for the details, please e-mail me your credit card number, expiration date, name as it appears on the card, the type of card [I only do VISA & Mastercard], and the the digit security code on the back. After that, I'll tell you anything and everything you wanna know.
Just Joxy: Thanks, boo!! Okay, maybe this one time we can pat Mr. Shoes' back for a job well done 🙂
Harry-Rami Itie: Awww!!! Thank you!! I'm glad you love it. Hope you come back.
Oh Vera, enjoyment! Enjoyment! Why didnt you invite me along now?? mscheew…*stalks off in anger!
nice to know u had real fun but just wish 'mr. shoes' cld get a better name.what do u think?
Now I am totally jealous. Hope you didn't do a nuptials and that was the honeymoon? Hmmmn
Aunty Vera, please-o! I beg have fun for all of us! I live vicariously in your list…except for Ms Flo…you could have left her off..seeing as she isn't actually fun! lol!
vera and mr shoes….
i see a wedding…
i see asoebi…
lol
enjoy dear….
Write Freak: I invited you na!! Na so so shout I shout your name, but you no gree answer, so I had to leave.
Musco: Nahhhhh. The name is befitting. It was actually the bloggers that technically came up with the name…which was inspired by the picture of his shoes that I put up. I love his name.
Luscious Ron: Okay, you're the third person saying this. That's it!! I'm responding with a blog post. I cannot take it anymore. LOL.
Lolo Bloggs: Well, Ms. Flow couldn't live with not being part of this fun, so she tagged along. This time, she was fun. Who knew it was possible???
MyStoriesMyTestimonies: Hehehehehehehe. Wedding and asoebi ehn? Biko, what else do you see? Will I be rich? Will I have everything I want? Will I be famous? Will I publish my books? Will I …???? Tell me, please.
Okay, I'm like JEALOUS. AH ah, remain for us na. At this rate you do not need to be meeting no Urhobo men 'cos this Mr. Shoes sounds like a very beche someborri. Hin get bros or cousins? Share na, we sef want to be carted off on surprise trips.
Did you go to Jamaica?
Vera, better not mess this up oh…Or I'll force you to marry me …lol
OMG, i'm green with envy, as in, National Green…that kind of fun is what i need right now, plus that movie too…hope it starts showing here soon
PS: Big ups to Mr.Shoez *wink*
lol,nice one,first time here,cheers
Vera, good you were able to get some break and relax with Mr Shoes. I can only say in my very bad native accent, "Mr Shoes, bu EBEANO".
Uche (Miami)
Original Mgbeke: Ehen… thank God say the original mgbeke don land. No, I didn't go to Jamaica. Some other time, perhaps? Don't worry, I'll show you pictures. Hehehe. He has a brother oh, but as fate will have it sha, e get one babe wey don land the brother. *shakes head* This life sha… Mgbeke, but you know that in all things, you suppose thank God, so make you dey thank God. LOL! Hehehe. Ehm… he has friends though. *wink, wink*
Sweet Nothin: Hahahaha. See me see threat oh! Me, I should not mess this up??? Why am I the only being threatened? Why not him?? I no go mess anything up na. I be correct babe. Sweet Nothin, trust me now!!
Baroque: LOL @ the National Green. That one is a different kind of green oh!! It must be like heavy weight green or something? Enough of the kudos to Mr. Shoes biko. Someone needs to gimme some kudos.
Muyiwa: Thanks a lot!! I hope you come back.
Uche: LOL. I'm still laughing at the way you recognized those clouds. Hahaha. You're too funny. Yes, indeed, anyway… Mr. Shoes bu ebe ano. Ekene dili Chukwu.