Weird topic, I know. Interesting topic, I know that too.
Last week, I attended an African American group meeting where an interesting conversation ensued. As you should know by now, the topic is whether or not oral sex should be done/given. For the most part of the conversation, I sat laughing at what everyone else had to say. I never really said where I stood or did not stand. I just listened. And laughed.
Before I tell you what people had to say, let me tell you that this group consisted of Africans and African Americans; males and females, and also singles and married. So we were pretty much diverse – or at least diverse enough. Most people (let me say about 95%) said oral sex is an absolute necessity. The remaining 5% said it was not a necessity. One lady (who happens to be Nigerian) flat out said she will never give her husband oral sex (and she does not want to receive it either). She also added that her husband does not want it anyway….which brings me to another question…
How possible is this? Is it possible that some man somewhere does not like (to receive) oral sex? By the way, if it means anything to you, none of the men involved in this conversation said that oral sex is not a necessity. In fact, one of them (who also happens to be Nigerian) said that “any woman who is not willing to give her husband oral sex is planning her retirement package.” He said that a man might say he does not ‘want’ or ‘like’ oral sex, but he’ll only say that to respect his wife’s wishes. However, once he cannot endure it anymore, he will seek alternatives…. i.e. a woman who is willing to do the deed.
So I’m really curious: how important is oral sex?
![Let’s Talk About [Oral] Sex](https://verastic.com/site/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-23-related-posts-plugin/static/thumbs/14.jpg)
I AM FURsT!
I am tempted to dominate this baby, but I have decided to give all this slackers another go. Sweery did you miss me!
Errr! I HAVE NO COMMENTS WHATSOEVER AS PER YOUR POST!!
lol.
I think the key is ‘Don’t ask for what you can’t give in return’ i.e the woman who says she can NEVER give her husband ‘some’ should not expect to EVER, EVER get ‘some’ from him, and the man who wants ‘some’ should be ready to give ‘some’ in return!
Isn’t true love supposed to be unconditional. If she loves a head, you give it even if she doesnt give any in return and vice versa.
Temite: Come on, don’t be a chicken. Answer the kweshion! lol
Vivacious n Chic: I will go and edit my post to reflect that the lady who said she will never give it also said she does not wanna receive it either.
Black James Bond: So what are you saying exactly??? I no come understand ooo. R u saying it’s an absolute necessity or not?
humph. this is a trap. i say that so that when i fall into it i can at least say i knew what i was doing. right.
anyway,
i think its pretty important, but not as per ‘give it or leave it’, but as per the fact that variety is the spice of well, sex, and as such, every type of sex should be explored to a healthy extent. which btw, is my way of saying hell-to-tha-NAW to anal sex.
oh and this variety also includes the fact that it better go both ways, or else not at all! but, like jamesbond said, if one is feeling unconditionally lovin’, one may go ahead and give selflessly.
or whatever.
ahn ahn, Vera baby we never get your own opinion sha. Well, for me it all depends. With my SO, I was hesitant at first to give it but then he beat me to it by giving it first. Then I seemed obliged to return the favour but I actually started to enjoy it! (givin' it & gettin' it) Heh!
So there ya go…it's not a necessity abeg. Why do people always like to confuse 'needs' and 'wants'. You might like your wife to give you head but you won't die if she doesn't oblige. Same thing for a husband. I might want him to gimme some…to the point that I feel 'needy' about it, but if he refused I won't die o. Ha!
Clearing throat) nna dis topic is HAWT!!! Well i am not a fan of it cos i tink of hygine n gagging reasons..lol!!! Imagine choking on ur partners kinny goin too far n giving u wound…yuk! A guy friend of mine said sth dat has made me laff at guys wen de say de like cunnylingus HE said – i quote ( Any lady tinkin dat i wld go down on her is crazy, perfumed or flavoured i wont!! av u looked at a lady’s below, it looks like an OPEN FLESH WOUND DAT WONT HEAL!!!!). Now dat i av planted dat unforgiveable n unforgetable image in everyone’s head. Have a nice day..lol!!! Geisha i second u on NO ANAL!
Lol @gagging; the very same reason I’m not into it but I support the No ANAL too. http://bit.ly/13p5wLO
The anal thing is just strange
wen done right, oral sex is very refreshing, almost a sure way to achieve orgasm & therefore very crucial to love-making. but it's not every one dat cares 4 it – i.e. men in giving it. i've heard crazy things said abt dat part of a woman being too dirty 4 it!!!!!! personally, there can't b sex if there's no head, unless it's a quickie
yes oh, definitely no anal!!!!!!!
Ahn ahn…is it food?how could they have called it a “necessity”…shuo putting it in the class of air and water…psheeeewwww…anyways having addressed that…(tongue in cheek now ;-)!!!)it is not a question of “if”…it’s a question of “when”…Abeg I no fit yarn pass that one sha!!!
but this babe sha…you can put someone in tight corner sha…
me thinks people who say they can NEVER give and or take oral sex-its because they never got the opportunity or whoever was their first thought he was taking soup!!!!!
there are too many nerves there that can guarantee a climax for both sexes
especially when you are boffing someone who knows just what to do…*wink*
so me say
its extermely important
but it is pertinent to only ever give oral sex when both the pahallus and the vagina are clean
how about after a shower???
or a leak……most people clean up after a leak…..
and i'm sure noone will give head to a woman who's got aunt flo around…….*wink*
so hey peeps ibiluv says…..clean/wash the phallus&the vagina
then lick,eat,grope,suck away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*wink*
LOL!
I did a post on this some time back:
http://just-saying-my-mind.blogspot.com/search/label/Oral%20sex
My opinion is there.
hmmm’ me na sidon look i dey o :p
Reciprocation is needed…give and take i say!!!Is it important…according to ShonaVixen hell ya!!!
Like Eddie Murphy once said, Black ladies don’t like giving head. They have no problems receiving, but they don’t give…
Give so that thou shall receive a famous book said.
Love is selfless, love is kind
Love will give head even if it’s not returned in kind.
Between Anyaposh and Black007
I don’t know what I’ll say even.
To give or not to give head, that’s the question.
Dunno if you can make head or tail of all I’ve written.
(Haba, clap for me now; even if I no answer the question. E no easy.)
my opinion is give and be given.any man wu says i can neva give is also indirectly telling me…i can neva receive…wht is good for the goose is good for the gander…..for me….it wont be a necessity sha….i like to receive….i know its not exactly fun for the guy but frankly it aint fun for me too….so if u give u sha receive….
It depends on d couple.
If they want it good, & if they dont, no probs.
But i guess this issue is whe 1 partner wants it and the other cant give it.
OH Vera you’ve done it now….
I LOVE oral sex, yup sure do. But I don’t think it’s NECESSARY. Sometimes we do it, sometimes we don’t. Just like sometimes I’ll go down on a guy and he wont go down on me and vise versa…I think it’s about the overall pleasure. If he can work it some other way, then I don’t NEED for him to give me oral.
But (I’ll say again) I LOVE oral. I love to give it, and sometimes I just feel like having it in my mouth, and they don’t have to do anything to me. I just like the feeling it gives me to know I can please a man and it turns me super on when they lose control…don’t you girls just love it when a man groans…I DO! And I love the naughty feeling I get when someone is in between my legs, and all the crazy stuff we can do…with ice cream, whipped cream….ice cubes…yup…it’s good and fun.
There you go Vera, you asked and I’m not ashamed to tell you. 😉
I don’t know how important oral sex is to a marriage or relationship. I think it solely depends on the two pple in the relationship. Some people like to receive it but don’t like to do it. I’ve met a guy who took pride in his “pussy eating” abilities, while some other guys hate it.
Personally, if i was a guy i wouldn’t want to go down on a woman. The thought of it grosses me out. As for giving a guy oral sex, it might just be a turn on (for some pple)
depends on the couple. Personally, it depends on wat my man wants…i really dont care!
Personally, i think oral sex is important… to spice things up in d bedroom… imagine having d same good old sex with the same man/woman for years…..Variety is the spice of life they say.
my 2 kobo……..
YOu should tell that woman that her husband is getting the oral somewhere else if he find its. Also i’ve heard of men saying “oh i can’t marry her because she gives the best blow job” I mean thats just silly…if she gives the best blow job shouldn’t she be a keeper? why is that the determinant..;hypocrites.
I say once you are married anything and everything goes..if you want to be sticking something in the ear while swinging from a chandelier and connecting in the middle….FEEL FREE…lol who bloody cares..its your pleasure
…hmmm. Well I wrote about this on NIA once…it depends on the couple. I feel if a man wants it, then he must be willing to give it. Plus, some guys have told me the scent of a woman down there, drives them nuts…yeah, I know…quite strange.
It is a necessity. I know there’s a man out there that loves giving and doesn’t care about receiving, LOL!
…unto each according to their will (oops, wishes).
*ermmm… blushing all shades of purple. Most earlier comments echoe my sentiments…
*cough cough* Bumight lemme know if this gentleman has a brother. Seriously.
To me?
Very important, as is any other intimate act that brings me closer to my partner.
(But on the real though, I do like giving and receiving.)
I once had a boyfriend who LOVED to give head, he could stay there till thy kingdom come and would always create new things to do while down there eg ice cream, ice. irish cream, grapes etc. But wasnt so keen on oral sex. I think the pleasure was too intense for him.
I knwo right?? I musta been insane to break up with him. For me Oral sex is DEF a yes yes!!!
Vera!
By the way, who is Anyaposh?
Abeg O! I meant that between the comments left by Anyaposh and Black007, I would agree with both of them.
Shuo! Vera, make your mouth no go put me for trouble o.
Abi iru alakoba wo l’omo Vera yi?
You’ve got to be kidding me-it’s so trnapsarently clear now!
LOL…
Even the Bible says-
Do to thers as you would have them do to you…
‘Nuff said.
As for me and my family, we won’t have any reason leave the old ways of having sex. Oral sex is NO… NO…
I dont think it is a necessity but just to spice things up every now and then. Any man who is not willing to give will definitely not receive.
Rethots: I guess I know where you stand then, huh?
Nefertiti: This one that you're asking Bumight for the gentleman's brother, I hope you realize that I asked first and this is a first-come-first-serve thing. That being said, why the blushes now? lol
Ms. Sula: Well, now that you put it that way, that makes me wanna go get myself a man. Oh, who am I kidding? Serious scarcity dey o!!
Padosh: Not that I'm tryna hook him up with myself, but ehm, can I have his name and number, please? LOL. Nothing serious. Just wanna ask him how he's doing and if he's faring well (considering the break-up)
Black 007: AnyaPosh is a fellow blogger. Check her out. I made that comment because of what Nimmo said earlier. He insinuated some oral sex might be going on bw you and Anyaposh (but he is now denying it….lol. Hahaha). But don't worry, I gat your back!
Nimmo: LOL. Hahaha. Wetin na? Fear dey catch you?? I will go and reread your poem and check if you're lying. lol. i can just see you shaking like a dry lead in winter right now. lol!
Aphrodite: LOL. Hahahaha. I cannot believe you just used that bible quotation to support oral sex. Chei! This is blasphemy o! Don't make God vex and come & shut my blog down
J. Ifeme: LOL. Amen!!! Whatever works for you and your family, love. As long it works for you both, then everything is a-okay!
Iwalewa: True talk. Relationships should bea give and take affair, yes? So he who is willing to receive should be just as willing to give
kai Vera oh.. I don’t even know what to say about this one … lol.. but I’m guessing it’s what the husband and wife decide they want. As the both are one, whichever way, they got to meet in the middle me thinks.. oh well, when I get married and I come across that problem, I will most def let you know! lol…
Hope you’ve had a great week.. 🙂
Hmmm….so where is this Black007 now? let’s finish this!
Coming from a married woman’s perspective, o would say theres absolutely nothing wrong with oral sex, its an extremely wonderful feeling for both parties and of course adds spice to basic lovemaking.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if ur spouse requests, pls give cos if not they will go looking elsewhere.
Shikeena…thats my own 2 cents.
PS: who would go down on anyone without CLEANING up first?
It depends on the couple, if it is something that they both enjoy, then sure thing. If one of the partners feels absolutely uncomfortable, then maybe not such a good idea, cuz good sex happens when pleasure is mutual.
I use to say hell no about giving oral sex, but you know how they say never say never?
Okay i’ll stop here!
Remi: Abi oh, my sister. When I get married, I will let you know too! lol. All I know is that it is not enough reason for a person to cheat on his/her spouse.
AnyaPosh: I have you his link. Go ye into the world and find him!! Finish this 4 us, babe!!!
Anonymous: LOL @ cleaning up. Honestly speaking, I wish nobody will go elsewhere for the sake of oral sex…or the lack of it rather. This is an issue that should be taken care of B4 marriage. If oral sex is something that either of the partnets cannot do without, he/she should voice his/her opinion or forever hold his/her peace. It’s not enough reason 2 go out ooo.
NigerianDramaQueen: LOL. I totally agree with you. If both partners are in agreement, then sure, why not? But it should not be forced upon or else it will lose it’s mmph
Well…
I think it’s only okay if both parties think it’s okay.
Personally i have nothing against giving or taking Except…everytime you go down on someone different(a different female) you need to study some new manual whereas pretty much the same thing works for every guy.
Still..
If i was going to pick which sex needed oral sex more , I’d say the female.
Men can pretty much come on anything.
But females need a lot of help along the way.
So basically..
Every guy should give head.
But not every woman has too…
I speak for myself only on this topic, O.S is an absolute neccessity!!! I must give and receive and when possible simulteanously!!! I can't even date any1 who won't do it,and i ave converted many guys in dis respect!!! Its fun and i thoroughly enjoy it>
honestly, I think it is as important as the individual enjoys giving it.
Carlang: LOL! You have to read a new manual for every woman? Hahahaha. That’s funny! Kai, women don suffer. lol @ guys being able to come on anything. I don’t know if I should be flattered or scared. Okay, how bout both? LOL.
Pink Lips: LOL. Hahaha. You sound like someone I know (whose name I will not mention so that she doesn’t kill me). You won’t date any1 who won’t do it??? LOL. Hahaha. That is funny! Na so the thing dey sweet you? Well, at least you have been converting guys to something. lol.
Abbie: Hehehehehe. This oral sex thing is something else ooo. We need 2 do some more investigations.
Well personally i think oral sex is important. In all my relationships oral sex has been a part of it, theres really nothing to be shy about cos its all part of the lovemaking process. Most naija guys i know prefer getting it and not giving it and i think thats just unfair to the ladies.
Oral sex is enjoyable so please keep giving and receiving head, lol.
LMAO. Pesin dey quote bible on top Oral Sex. Odikwa very risky stuvvings.
Aniwooossss, ummm…I think that both partners should always be open minded to trying new things/pleasing thier padners and ditch the ‘Hell No’ mentality. (Well, like a few others who commended, I am anti anal sex) but umm yah! That’s my own lirru 2 cents…
Hehehehehe.
PS:- Interesting comments overall.
As in all things to do with relationships, compatibility is important. Same applies here.
What is oral sex?
Oral ko, verbal ni!
Joel
LOL @ Anonymous: Verbal indeed. Anyways Veralicious, this topic is too temmylicious to discuss on a public forum.lol
Do i do it? Nah men.Maybe I do o.lol
Now, there are some crazy acts we need to engage in sometimes in the name of satisying our partners and i totally subscribe to Oral sex from both ends, even though I prefer being on the receiving end most times. I think Oral sex is ok
so long as it’s not anal. That’d be disgusting!
why is everyone saying hell no to anal sex!!!what if your partner wants it..if u dont give him he will receive it elsewhere….LMAO
Oral sex!!!it depends on the partners o…if it is impt to one and not to the other then wahala dey
Exactly Anon, what is wrong with Anal Sex??
Actually I see exactly what’s wrong with it since you posted your response ANONYMOUSLY!! ha!
Anal sex is so-called taboo… arggh friggin’ society.
I think if both partner are in a consensual relationship – I say, stick it in … anywhere you want! 😛 Do it with your mouth, hands, ears, breasts, nostrils! heck whatever sends you off that cliff. When there is consensus nothing is TABOO!
Now, I’m the anonymous who said “oral ko, verbal ni”, so not to be hypocritical, I must add that I was a big fan of oral sex – used to give, not necessarily receive. But folks, you google the dangers of oral sex for a balance view on this subject.
The mouth contains more germs than any other part of the body, and it doesn’t matter if the man/woman is promiscuous or not; so be careful folks.
I could use my tongue to flick that little thing that hangs in between…., but aint going beyond that without some protection.
Life is fun, I wanna live long!
The Dangers of Oral Sex
News – Medical Science
Tuesday, 03 June 2008 08:04
A new study has found that people who have had oral sex have between a 100% and 750% increased risk of contracting throat cancer than those who have never engaged in oral sex.
Further evidence suggests this is effect is due to the transmission of the human papillomavirus (HPV) which among other things is responsible for the majority of cervical cancers.
Researchers from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore, Maryland, USA collected blood and saliva samples from the throats from 100 patients diagnosed with either cancer of the tonsils or of the back of the throat. These were compared with samples taken from 200 healthy volunteers. The samples were tested to see if the individuals have ever been infected by HPV All the participants volunteered detailed information about their sexual history.
The results of the analysis were compelling, it revealed that people who had been infected by HPV were 32 times more likely develop cancers of the throat and those who tested positive for a particularly nasty strain of the virus (HPV-16) were a shocking 58 times more likely to have throat cancer. The study also found that reports from participants of the number of oral sex partners they had had correlated with increased risk of contracting throat cancer, they found that individuals with one to five oral sex partners had a doubled risk compared to those who had never had oral sex and those who had had six or more oral sex partners had a 250% increased risk. They also found that participants who had had six or more partners were a750% increase in the risk of contracting cancers which were clearly the result of HPV-16.
The study only had 300 participants and so more research would be needed to confirm exact risk and completely rule out any other reasons for the correlation, but such evidence will inevitably intensify calls for the new anti-HPV vaccines (licensed for the prevention of cervical cancer) to be made more widely available and opened up to men.
In the meantime the researchers recommend making sure a condom is always used during oral sex.
Sourdce: http://medicinemagazine.info/consumer/index.php/news/2-medical-science/13-the-dangers-of-oral-sex
Omo Calabar: LOL. Thank you for preaching oral sex. lol. I, too think it is part of the lovemaking. Foreplay, I guess. But like I have said so many times, both partners should be on the same page, and it should definitely be a two way street.
riginal Mgbeke: So are you saying Hell No! to anal sex or not? LOL. Personally, I'll shout a resounding hell no to anal sex. It is non negotiable for me. I refuse to do it. Never ever. In the same way, I refuse to get involved in a threesome. What nonsense. If my husband wants me 2 do something like, he must be out of his mind.
NaijaLines: True words, my sister. True words.
Sleek n Catty: Really? I never new the bible says everything is honorable on the marital bed. If it does, then good for all the people who love questionable sex styles. lol. But most importantly, it should be done between hubby & wifey. Sex between bf and gf… hmmm.. odikwa risky (and unnecessary).
Joel: LOL. What do you mean by "what is oral sex?" Stop the pretense oo! You sef wey dey ask, you're probably the ring leader, lol.
Temmy Tayo: As I dey see that your face ehn….you look GUILTY!!!! But it's okay sha. Anything for Mr. Temmy Tayo, I support.
Gbengasile: You're right. There are things people do to satisfy their partners. Personally, I think they should both on the same page….and married.
Anonymous: I no follow you dey go that side oh. Me sha, anal sex is a no no no for me. And just like AnyaPosh asked, how come you're anonymous???
AnyaPosh: Me sha, I cannot subscribe to anal sex abeg. The thot of it alonr grosses me out. I mean, come on, that's our shit hole. Y will any1 wanna stick something in there? Dat's gross! But I'm with you on that anonymous commentor thing sha. How come the person that supports anal sex is anonymous?? lol.
Joel: "flick the little thing???" lol. Okay. Well, thank you for that article sha, but uhm, what about the dangers of having sex (HIV included)??? Why haven't you stopped doing that one completely? You know condoms are not 100% effective abi? I don't even know why I'm here advocating for oral sex. But that's by the way…
@joel: if you’ve EVER had any kind of sexual contact, you already have an increased chance of having HPV. as far as I’m concerned, any male is a potential carrier of HPV sef (that’s just my take o!)
ANY type of sex predisposes you to contacting HPV. The only way to be totally risk free is if you marry a virgin (and that is assuming you’re one yourself)
also, what is not oncogenic?
Bottom line is if you’re engaging in ANY kind of sex, there is a risk involved. so we all need to live in a bubble and only wank when we feel the urge!
@ Joel: LMAO @ Oral ko, Verbal ni (if you’re really the one that said it oh!) Thanks for the article but…
“In the meantime the researchers recommend making sure a condom is always used during oral sex.”
NA WHO WAN’ CHOP FISH INSIDE NYLON?!!!
@ Carlang: I feel you on the needing a different manual thing. As an Engineer I should know.
@ Vera: We never still hear your REAL opinion oh! You just dey use people own dey reply back. And who tell you say everybody dey wash first before…? I know someone who didn’t!
@ NIMMO: I feel you on the poetry jo! Oya, all of una, clap for NIMMO! Kpa, kpa, kpakpakpa, KPA!
@ Bumight: No vex oh but: “ANY type of sex predisposes you to contacting HPV.” VERY TRUE
But…”The only way to be totally risk free is if you marry a virgin (and that is assuming you’re one yourself)”
A virgin marrying a virgin nowadays? Hmmm… Can the Pope marry Oprah?
Finally, my own views… Verbal Sex is GREAT giving and receiving!
Any guy wey deny, thunder go give am head!
I dont see anythin wrong with it..its def a, uh, pleasant experience..whatever pleases my man EXCEPT anal!
LOL @ what the naija man in the meetin!
But now joel has scared me!
lol lol @ u wanting his number.! let me think about it…..ummmm NO lol. Soweee never was one that liked to share, not that its my own anymore but still… lol
I don’t see the big deal about oral sex.. i personally think it is just part of sex.. i just think it is natural.. I have never seen the big deal. Maybe I am just lucky cos I have never been with a man who has a problem going down on me, infact they always seem eager to go down on me and I love returning the favour. It is all part of the fun of sex, why deprive yourself??
Bumight: Gbam!! You have said it. You don talk am. Abeg talk on, my dear doctor-to-be
Naughty Eyes: First of all, thank you for replying sooo many comments. As for my own views, well, do they really matter?! lol. The point be say I don do my own research and una don helpel me well well.
Buttercup: While there is some truth to what Joel has said, I think we ought also to consider the fact that ALL sexual contacts can lead to one STD or the other.
Padosh: Kai. Don’t be stingy ohhhh! There is joy in sharing. The thing sef wey you no wan share, I fit get am allll by myself. Don’t try me.
Anonymous: Ah, lucky you oh!! Well, it’s all part of the love making kini abi? More grease to the elbows of everyone. As long as everyone is sha enjoying it, that’s all that matters….I guess.
am i bold enough to write here?
…me i like o.Ive almost never given,not becos i dont want to..lets just say i have a giver.
Femme: LOL. You’re one of those “lucky” ones like anonymous up there, ehn? More grease to your elbows ooo. Ekuse (abi sebi na so dem dey take spell am?)
extremely important. infact VITAL
Jaguda Himself!I Hail You Ooh!!.Extremely Necessary.Infact A Necessity(Am Just Rephrasing His Words).
Why Are Many Folks So Ishing About It,As Long As Both Partners Are Relatively Hygienic,Geez This Is The 21st Century And Who Says O.S Didnt Start From The Garden Of Eden…Abi Kini Big Deal?.Men,I Tire For Our Naija Hypocrites Ooh.
On A 2nd Note,I Assume All Those That Are Derogatory About O.S Have Never Experienced It,Ditto!.
Jaguda: LOL. Vital ehn? Oga oh. But I understandsha…
PinkyAndBrain: lol. I guess we know where you stand. lol @ oral sex starting @ the garden of eden. I guess there is no way to find out now, huh?
sorry, am late to this, just saw your blog and this entry- had to comment.
For me o…(naija to d core). Oral sex is a part of my fundamental human right. Shoooot. My husband and i give and receive. All dis shakara wey no get head wey no get tail married ppl do about oral sex, i dont understand sha. I just pity them.
Now if your single….das b/w u and onye kere anyi.