Why do I keep doing this 2 myself? I went to see a movie with this guy. Let’s call him Mr. Slow. Honestly, he’s slow. I think he stays on slow motion. The way he talks, the things he says…goodness! So why did I subject myself to such cruelty? I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking anything could come out of our movie event. In fact, the only reason I decided to see the movie was because I wanted a situation with the least amount of talking.
So off we went to see the movie. Everything was going great – not because of him, but because of the movie. I was enjoying the movie. We got to the end of the movie and some nice romantic song started playing. Can you believe that this dude started singing right along with the song? Oh! My! Goodness! To say that I was humiliated will be an understatement. Why did he have to sing?
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst), his voice was like 20. And he wasn’t even trying to sing under his breath. He was singing out loud confidently. Someone had to have told him that he sounded good. Where else could he have summoned the courage to belch the lyrics of that beautiful song, in spite of sounding like a toad? Not only did he not know how to sing, he also didn’t even know the lyrics. Whew! Somebori, say it isn’t so, please. I was pissed the heck off!
My blood was boiling hot. It was so hot that it was about 10 degrees above hell. Yes, I was that pissed off. Pissed off and embarrassed. All I needed was for those White people to vex and start stoning me with their popcorn and fries. If that had happened ehn, Mr. Slow would have known a different side of me. I would have shown him what hot water does to garri.
As if that is not funny enough, he actually thinks we’re in a relationship. LOL. Where did he get that idea, you ask? Who knows? He and I never had such a conversation. Which kin relationship by default be this one? I don’t even know how to start laughing anymore. If this is my enemies’ way of getting to me, they have failed! I refuse to be tricked into homicide. Yes, my enemies are trying to make me date someone whom I will surely end up killing, but they have failed. LOL.
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LMAO! vera, the kind of guys you meet!. I used to talk to a guy who couldnt sing, and who always tried to sing along to songs when he didnt know the song. I found it hilarious- and cute!. I guess that’s because he never did it in public. lol!
FURST!
Bumight: Exactly, girl. He didn’t do it in public. You weren’t already turned off by him and wondering what you were even doing with him in the first place. Babe, I suffer no be small o.
Hahhahahahhahah…I second Bumight…where you dey meet all this kind guys???/ babes…
See the problem with babes….if it was someone you were liking seriously you would have been writing he sang for me, specially for me even though he sounded like a toad…how cute…
abi???
LOLLLL…Verastic! I don’t know where you meet all these men o…lol…Mr. slow…
“On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst), his voice was like 20…” ROTFL…..ha ha ha!
Lol @ Afrobabe…it’s true sha…hmmm…if he was a FINE BROTHERRRRRR!!!!
AfroBabe: LOL. That one consign you o! We will obviously never know because me, I did not appreciate that singing one bit! I am not afraid of admitting that I am not the least bit attrated to Mr. Slow. As for the singing being cute…yeah… whatever. lol.
Jaycee: Babe, I dunno where I meet them o! Well, I do know where I meet them, but I don’t know why I do! Due to the fact that I am not an anonymous writer, I cannot mention where I met him. I don’t wanna get beaten up. lol.
Vera!
Leave the man alone oh.
He’s confident in his shortcomings.
Ah ah.
Ogini.
E choro di nwoke ocha?
No, I didn’t read this.
Vera, I’m I dreaming?
But I kinda feel this guy is a known blogger.
really funny…….lol
So u don’t know that you agreeing to go to the movies with him is a nonverbal contract that u are now his babe?! Dey there make express dey leave u. NA so u go marry, born pickin, u no go know. Better be careful.
u r just a clown, vera! eh ya. dat Mr slow sounds like a date 4rm hell. i just don't understand it, how a man can take a lady out & not make d efforts (& repeatedly check back 2 confirm he's on d right track too) to give her d time of her life! i mean, geez
lmao…
I would have told him how horrible he was.
i think u are getting boring
Tobenna: Confident in his shortcomings abi? Okay oh, good 4 him. I will appreciate it if he is a little less confident in his shortcomings…and also a little less willing to display said shortcomings. But it kuku doesn’t matter anyway because we will not be seeing each other anymore. It simply cannot work between us. LOL.
Aloofar: Yes, you’re reading this, and no, he is not a known blogger – @ least not that I know of. Wait oh, why will I blog about a blogger? LOL. Haba. I am not that mean!
Simeon: Yes, oh. I know. Wetin man pikin fit do?
Sting: Watch your mouth o. Which kin nonsense you dey misyarn? lol. How can agreeing to watch a $10 movie mean that I am now his babe? Na so dem dey get babe 4 him village? God forbid!
Florida: I don’t know either oh, nne. I’m pretty sure that the look on my face was not giving the impression that I was having a marvelous time, but obviously, he had a great time…what, with him singing et al. He had the guts to think we are in a relationship. LOL. The thing just chop my mouth o
Iwalewa: I didn’t think it was necessary. It’s not like we will see each other again anyway. LOL.
Anonymous: Trust me, I’d rather be having one hell of a date
LOL! Vera and her funny dating disasters. I can’t stop laughing!
Favored Girl: LOL. Laugh all you want. One day, I will get married, and you will stop laughing. Just wait & see. Hehehe.
girl… i was with you with every exclamation point… cuz I could just imagine being there…. cant say what I wouldve done in that situation…
LOL@ relationship by the default… how old is the guy?
You sure know how to reel them in o babe…ahnahn…how far now? *shakes head* well am not surprised when u leave ur number here for us to stalk you…hopefully u will be doing a post about ma stalking antics soon…
I know that it’s like my Vera to refuse becoming Ms. Slow cos she no slow, she smart
Diamond Hawk: I’d rather not reveal his age publicly due to the fact that I am not an anonymous blogger and would not want to put myself in trouble. LOL. Just be grateful you weren’t in my shoes anyway. It was no fun thing.
Chari: Abegi jo. That one na different matter. Dis guy is not a stalker…yet. Although he has done some very questionable things. LOL. This guy is just SLOW. I’d have 2 go backwards to catch up with him.
Standtall: Awwww, thanks my love. From the way you’re sounding, I can tell you’re head over heels in love with me. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. LOL.
LMAO!!!
Oh Vera, u are a total basket case!
Ah-ha! ‘what hot water does to garri’?
Getting ‘stoned with popcorn and fries’
LMAO…u dis girl wont kill me!
Yes ooooooooooooooooooo. Who no go love our smart, funny and adorable Vera
Afronuts: LOL. Ah, keep laughing oh. But me na trut talk I dey yarn oh. You know these Oyinbo people, they can be weird. Last thing I needed was 4 them to show their anger and disapproval by stoning me with their food. And as for the hot water and garri thing, ehen now….abi don’t you know what hot water does 2 garri? LOL
Standtall: Babe, you’re making me blush here oh. *blushing multi colored*
Mr. Slow indeed. Bet you wouldn’t have told us if this guy was a Mr. Fast and everything moved along fast, fast to his apartment.
NaijaLeta: Abegi! Which kin fast be dat one? Na jazz? I never see any kin finess or money wey go fast reach him apartment o. Biko, that’s not Verastic @ all. LOL. Fast ko dreaming ni.
An an vera,jst wen i was abt 2 agree 2 a blnd date,u come up with dis kin post.need i say its bye bye 2 blind date
u clown,y do i have a feeling u will soon jam him somewhere else like mr kisser??lol
by the way,u updated on tuesday again!
wat do u av to say for urself??russian babe????huh??
hahahahahahaha
awoof is the mother of being-able-to-rein-in-your-anger-in-public-places
😉
Mehn the guy has guts o. lol
How can he assume you guys are in a r/ship when you did not discuss it.
Sounds like a hell date.
Miz-Cynic: Nooo, don’t cancel the date…pretty please! Looking forward to it oh.
QMoney: Hehehe. I will not jam him anywhere else oh biko. As far as I’m concerned, we have nothing else to discuss. Our relationship is obviously nonexistent. And as for that comment about updating on Tuesday…whatever!
Geisha-Sung: Well said, babe. lol. Na me wey kuku carry myself go see movie with him.
WeirdGurl: My dear, me I no come understand on. We really did not discuss starting or being in a relationship, and then next thing I know, we’re in a relationship. Yeah, ok…sure buddy!
LOL….No No he did not…LOL
Uzo: He sure did, gal! He sure did.
lmaooooooooooooo!
relationship by default..hahahahahaha!
i can only imagine how irritated u must have been…
y dont u just tell him like it is??
LMAO, how did u even end up going to the movies with this guy, wat if he was feeling romantic and tried to kiss u???
Nono stop fronting pls. u know u want him. liar liar pant on fire. lol
Buttercup: Ah, that would be mean. I’m a very nice gal oh….unlike my friend, Uju. She’s blunt and blunt and really, really blunt.
Pink Lips: I woulda cut my lips off and grown new ones. It’s just that simple. lol.
Anonymous AKA Uju: You’re mad oh. Don’t you have some diseases to eradicate or something? Biko, biko… stop disturbancing me.
See how slow u are. U are an idiot, it wasn’t even UJU. Mumu
Anonymous AKA Busola: Oh, yes I see now. The ‘nono’ thing threw me off a bit. I shoulda known it was you (with that liar, liar line @ the end). Either way, stop disturbancing me please.
U should be a comedian. dont get me fired from work for laughing like a banshee.
Rosie: LOL. Na story I dey tell oh. It’s not my fault that I encounter (attract) weird people.