State of Maryland vs Vera Ezimora

That was the subject of the letter they sent me. I was not afraid. But I was definitely moved. All I did was exceed my speeding limit by 18 miles per hour, so why was the entire State of Maryland coming after me? Long story short, I had to appear in court today for a $90 ticket I received in September. It was not the amount of the ticket that prompted me to go to court. It was the two lousy points that came with it. My insurance would go up. My driving reputation would go down. You get the point.

So I woke up this morning with a series of questions on my mind: what would I wear to court? Should I dress like Lindsay Lohan with the skin-tight leather dress or the blouse with the plunging neckline? Should I come late to court? Would there be papparrazzi waiting for me to exit from the car? Should I go in a limo? Should I wear four or six inch heels? Would they be fiery red or cool black? But then, a few realities hit: I am not a celebrity. I am only going to traffic court. My tummy isn’t flat, and should not be found in a skin tight leather dress. Oh, and I cannot afford a skin-tight leather dress. A pair of black pants and a black shirt it was then.

I had it all figured out. I would go in there and say, “Your Honor…” as many times as possible, just for him to see how polite I was. I would flash him as many smiles as I could. I would appeal to the jury with my wit and innocence. I would plead “Guilty with an explanation,” and I would walk out a free woman. Well, a couple of things didn’t go as planned. I walked into Court Room #1 and was astonished shocked at the number of people in there. Who were all these people in my court room? I thought it would be just me, the judge, the Officer, the ladies and gentlemen of the jury, and my lawyer! Oh, that’s true. I didn’t have money for a lawyer. There were only about 200 other people being tried at the same time.

Fine. Where’s my Officer then? Oh, there he was! He was seated among 14 other Officers, four of which were State Troopers, and I could not figure him out. In fact, I did not know if he was one of them. One by one, the Officers were called to the stand. When each Officer came on, their victims were also called one by one to defend themselves. Most were let go without the points, but they were required to pay the court fee and/or fines. I waited. Waited. And waited some more. I knew my officer wasn’t a State Trooper, so I ruled out all the State Troopers. Out of the 11 remaining officers, one was a woman, although she looked like a small man with her low cut hair. That meant my officer could have been one of the remaining 10.

The case of the distraught woman: This woman actually had a lawyer, and he spoke for her the entire time. According to the lawyer, his client’s husband was an Iraq-wounded soldier, and because of that, she was so distraught as she was driving home that day (you know, with her life having changed so drastically recently). The lady received a non guilty judgment.

The case of the man who had a wife: He was a Yoruba man. Before the Judge even had a chance to ask him, “How do you plead?” the man went ahead to explain, “Hi was just driving when my wife called hand she said that hour shild his sick…” And the Judge had to interrupt and ask again, “How do you plead?” Again, he responded with the same thing. Three times, the Judge had to ask before he finally understood that he was being asked about his plea. Needless to say, he was asked to pay a fine.

The case of the woman who had a boyfriend: She was in court for knowingly allowing her boyfriend to operate her motorbike without a license, but she had a lawyer who argued that the Officer had not stated the registration number and vin number of the questionable motorbike in his written report (in spite of the fact that her boyfriend had already admitted to the crime). She was guilty. Everyone knew she was guilty. But she was let go for lack of evidence.

Those whose officers were not present were told, “Officer XYZ is not here today, so I find you not guilty. You’re free to go.” Finally, my Officer was called, and he was the last one before the State Troopers. He was nowhere to be found. “Ms. Ezimora,” the Judge said, “Your officer is not here, so I find you not guilty. You are free to go.” And I said in my most excited voice, “Yes, Sir! Yes, Your Honor! Thank you!” The clerk asked, “Would you like a copy of your release?” And I said, “Yes, please!”

In the case of the State of Maryland vs Vera Ezimora, Vera Ezimora came out on top. She will go … to speed no more! *WIPES BROW*  😆

P.S. In case you were wondering, yes, I was indeed taking notes during the trials.

P.P.S. Lesson 1: It helps to have a lawyer.

P.P.P.S. Lesson 2: It helps even more to not need a lawyer.