Today, I and millions – billions, maybe – of people tuned in to the Oprah show to hear her big family secret. Unfortunately, the Tom Joiner Morning Show already ruined the surprise for me this morning, although they were merely speculating. Watching Oprah’s show, it turned out that the Tom Joiner Morning show speculated quite well about what the surprise would be, albeit Oprah’s version was a lot more detailed, of course.
So, it turns out that Oprah has a half-sister. If you’re like me, I’ve always thought that Oprah had a half-sister. And if you’re also like me, then you would have been wondering, “What’s the big deal if she has a half-sister?” Well, the big deal is that Oprah just found out about a half-sister that she did not know she had. Oprah is her mother’s first-born child, and after Oprah was born, her mother had two more children – Pat and Jeffery, respectively. I don’t know how Jeffery died, but Pat was a drug addict who died from its complications. That left Oprah as her mother’s only surviving child — or maybe not. Apparently, Oprah’s mother had another child, the fourth and last one – that we know of – and gave her up for adoption. That child, Patricia – who by the way looks very much like their late sister, Pat – is the sister that Oprah discovered.
Naturally, I’m not here to discuss Oprah’s life. You may google it to find out more. However, watching the show gave me an epiphany. Perhaps, it is finally time for me to stop complaining and whining to my parents (about why my mother did not marry a wealthy man or why my father did not go into politics or sugarcane and cement business [like Dangote] instead of medicine). Right now, as I type this post, I’m feeling a little Obama-ish. I am almost completely sure that he and I are very much related. It is literally impossible for my mother to be his mother, but perhaps, my father may have had him at a very young age — like eight or ten. Not too outlandish, right?
Sure, I may be an exact female replica of my father, but these days, people look alike. Even animals look alike. Today, I think I saw a fox that was bred by a cat and a dog roaming the street. Anything is possible. With the exception of Obama’s ears, I look every bit like him. And, this, of course, explains why the far right politicians have accused him of not being a true American citizen. It is because maybe he isn’t. Maybe he was born in Nigeria, in Anambra State, to be precise.
I’m also feeling a bit Queen-of- England-ish. I don’t know what it is, but all of a sudden, I’m feeling quite royal. I think the Queen of England may be my great grandmother. If you look very carefully at the Queen of England, you will be able to see past her beige skin and see that its true color is brown, just like mine. And although the Queen may have done a mighty fine job at it, I can tell that underneath those expensive fabrics, is a pair of endowed breasts. With the exception of the expensive fabrics, we do have quite a bit in common.
I have to admit, this was a lot easier than I thought.
P.S. Oprah needs to sit her mother and ask her, “Are there any more kids you have out there – even if it’s a baby you thought you miscarried?”
P.P.S. The giveaway starts in two days time!!! Come back here on Wednesday to comment as many times as you want for your chance to win.
ehehehehehehhe Obama my foot! mad chic
Funmie, don’t mess with me oh! Don’t come and start trying to jump the fence into the White House when I move in there. You know they have big guns … and they’re not afraid to use it. Warn yourself oh.
And you never cease to amaze me! your royal highness Verastic!
Heard about the Oprah news will probably check it later…enjoy
No Limit, how I for take do am na? It’s not my fault that I am so royal, majestic, and presidential … en kwa? LOL.
only u Vera, are able to take a piece of news (however simple) and complexify (hmmm?) it like so…Obama? the Queen? all relatives of yours? lol…I like the way your mind roams freely…no hindrances…keep it going gurl.
LOL. That one is your own oh. You can call it “complexify” all you want. All I know is that, the aforementioned peeps are all relatives of mine, and it can be proven by our rather uncanny resemblance.
Hahahhhaha!!! I like the Queen of England part. :)… afterall there’s a thing called Glutathione (which i dont like, btw.. Brown is beautiful)
America is a free country- i guess you are free to think-up your own lineage. hehehe! have a great day Vera!!! You just made mine.
Jabez, the way you keep indirectly insulting me, LOL. Who said I’m freely thinking up my own lineage? This is real stuff, girl! Well, laugh all you want, but don’t come begging when I move into my royal palace with my Queen.
HRH Vera, I shouldn’t, but I totally love the question Oprah ought to ask her mum. Love it! Saw a programme that featured the White House vegetable garden once. Totally missing some ugwu and waterleaf. Of course that would be rectified once Obama’s lineage is reworked to include you. Hah!
Abi oh! Imagine the difference my presence would make in the White House. Apart from the ugwu and waterleaf, we’ll have isi ewu, nkwobi, iyan and efo on the menu. Shoooot! The more I think of it, the more it makes sense. I’m off to write a letter to my brother, Barack.
Your dad must be pretty handsome if you look like him… By the way, my siblings & I have a picture of my mum carrying a little boy who looks like my elder sister but we have just one brother. So, dear lost brother make yourself known cos we have been waiting for you all our life!
Seeeeeeeee? Exactly my point! Siblings are born, and then, somehow, they get lost along the way. They could get forgotten at the grocery store. Or at the library. Or at the clothing boutique. Anything can happen. If your mother is a shopaholic, she mighta forgotten him at the main market.
Hey,I always have something to smile about when i come ere,to ur blog i mean.Then as i was scrowling down i noticed some eye called ”anoda phase” copying ur style and i wonder to myself,why be so obvious?,why nt photograph an ear or a nose,why an eye, again.Isnt that some sort of plagiarism,or something,give it a name.i mean i cant put anoda persons face as my profile picture or can i?i notice a lot of people do that these days,put their dogs picture as their profile pic,bt then who knows,the dog just might be them.Facebook does not discriminate.
I loved ur note on Oprah Vera,its really amusing.Fancy u,having the great queen as ur great grand mother,lol.
Hey, sweetheart!! Well, you know, the funny thing about “creativity” or “ideas” in general is that so many people can have the same thing. Anoda Phase and I, we obviously both fancy our eyes. But when it comes down to it, she has hers, and I have mine. But aren’t you a darling for fighting for me. You’re like a jealous lover. I almost want to date you right now. LOL. Per the Queen, well, just want out, girl. Soon and very soon, I’ll be blogging from the palace. Bet they have very high speed internet. Hmmmm.
Vera,
Who told you that you have endowed breasts? Don’t you know that I’m the only one licensed to certify breasts? So when are you coming to see me?
Hahahahaha. Choi! I don’t know what I was thinking oh … saying that I have endowed breasts without first coming to you for proper consultation, and of course, certification. Biko gba gha lu’m. Let me have your address. I’ll be at your examining office with immediate effect!
It is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW
Washington D.C., DC 20500
When you get to the get ask of Anu Nti.
U crack me up Vera, very very funny….teheheheheheeee
Well, that’s a mighty good thing 🙂 Keep laughing. But wait oh, does this your laughter mean that you don’t believe my royal and presidential lineage?
Well it is so interesting that you are now beginning to search for and understand you lineage,but don’t you think that you are missing something important.
Obama represents your lineage from America,(The resemblance,the ear) the Queen of England from Europe,(The resemblance,of course the endowment no doubt which is damn so beautiful) your parents from Africa whose resemblance I don’t know because I have not seen either of them.
Now the question is who represents your lineage from Asia because if people should look closely,I think they will see that you have this facial resemblance of the chinkos.
absolutely endowed! ehehehehe….
i throway salute oh T
***Rolling eyes at Funmie***
Hahaha @ the facial resemblance to the chinkos. You know you’re not the first, second, or even third person to say that. When I was in Secondary school, I had this teacher that swore that I had some Asian blood in me. I have already asked my parents; so far, it does not appear that I am related to any Asians. But then, one never knows these days, right? LOL. Thanks for commenting 😀 Hope to see more of you.
What funky medication are you on these days? ~Well I don’t know about the other claims but only I can sertify whether or not you are related to the Queen. It’s not about looks but about comportment. How you sit, drink tea and talk. 🙂
CaramelID, na correct question be that. If they could discharge Diana with alacrity for her misdemeanours imagine what they would do to our dear Vera who has discussed her ara, brazzia and panty at various times on this page 🙂
But we have to agree, that this Verastic can dream ‘correct dreams’. Babe, biko nye m ihe ahu i na anu tupu ilaba ura. I think I need it. Maybe I’m Trump’s love child…
Ginger, hahahaha. Well, nne, from all indications, you’re already drinking the thing too. You think you may be Trump’s love child? Ehen, now, that’s the spirit. Speaking of blogging about my brazzia, panty, and ara, wait till you see the post I’ll put up in a minute *snickering* 😀
Hia, is that all??? Kpam, kpam, kpam, I’ll go and learn how to drink tea, how to sit, and how to talk. Sebi it’s for me to not be starting my sentences with “Chei!” I sabi do that one na.