This is my second time blogging about bras. What is it with me and bras sef? The first time I blogged about bras, I was blogging about strapless bras – the day that my mother confidently asked for a sleeveless bra. What on earth is a sleeveless bra?!
Tomorrow (Friday, April 18th) is Uju’s birthday. Her boyfriend suggested that we all take her out. I’m fine with this idea, of course. My only problem is that she has not given me my birthday gift yet, and I am seriously considering suing her to court. My birthday was 3 months ago, and she has been turning me up and down. You might think that she is not obligated to give me a birthday gift, but I believe otherwise. I’m pretty sure she does not want me to forcefully take it. If I do not receive my birthday gift in the nearest future, she will be sorry. She kuku knows what I am capable of.
Anyway, I went to Macy’s today in search of a push-up bra. I patrolled the entire lingerie section fruitlessly. I figured I must have been looking in the wrong section, so I asked one of the staff. She pointed a different area of the lingerie section for me to check out. I looked through the place, and indeed found a lot of push-up bras, but none that came in my size. Instead, I was constantly attacked by size 32A. What the heck is that?! Is that even a size?? Seriously, should 32A cups even wear bras? Maybe that’s what is stunting the growth of the breasts sef. Why on earth will someone with a 32A cup even wear a bra? You should let the breasts be free and be merry.
If you look at the picture very well, you will notice that by the left side of the bra, there is a before and after picture. The before picture is called, ‘THEN’ and the after picture is called ‘WOW’. Well, eventually, I found a push up bra. I wore it @ Macy’s, and it didn’t seem bad. I came home and tried it on with the top I intend to wear on Friday, and my result was not WOW. It was more like WOW x WOW x WOW x WOW. Okay, so I guess I understand why push-up bras don’t really come in my size. In other words, tooooo much breasts were flying all over the place. Alright, maybe not all over, but darn, I don’t wanna mistake my own breasts for big, round yellow stress balls. I assume that the pain that stress balls go thru is way too much for my breasts to bear. I don’t think any amount of anesthesia will be strong enough. I don’t even wanna find out.
I took a picture of my breasts with the push-up bra and sent it to Funmi for her viewing pleasure. I am yet to get a reply. On one hand, the bad chic in me (if she is not a figment of my imagination) wants to wear the push-up bra, but on the other hand, the good girl in me (the one I know definitely exists, lol) does not want to wear it. I’m so torn and confused. I don’t want a situation where I’m constantly tugging at my shirt and trying to cover up. That would be silly.
I have to confess that I do admire women who wear push-up bras. They usually look nice (not all of them, of course), but can Vera actually be woman enough to do it? I don’t think so oooo. I have been known to be a chicken, and I am proud to admit that I am indeed a chicken. Wetin man [woman] go do?
Note to Uju (and all other people who owe me gifts; you know yourselves), here is a list of perfumes you should get me. You’re welcome to get me more than one. And uhm, I’ll prefer the gift sets ooooooo. *coughs* I went out of my way to provide the prices of the gift sets for you. You can thank me later.
1. Miracle Forever by Lancome [$55 @Macy’s]
2. Romance by Ralph Lauren [$75 @ Macy’s]
3. Rock n Rose by Valentino [$68 @ Macy’s]
4. Pleasures by Estee Lauder [$58 @ Macy’s]
5. M by Mariah Carey [$65 @ Macy’s]
6. Covet by Sarah Jessica Parker [$72 @ Macy’s]
p.s. These are listed in order of preference. Thank you. I’ll be expecting my giftS.
just noting that i was here o…
Ms Push up bra
where is the picture? my imagination is far too extreme for my liking. I almost had an attack just by waving the thought. so, could u pls send me a copy or at least post the pix of your breast in push-up bra? So i fit know how much damage I could possibly inflict on my fragile little mind. We (generally speaking) would appreciate this gesture.
push bra, well some have been known to call it a miracle..lol.. Vera, you will never refuse to amaze me.
1. I am angry that you are dissing small breasted human beings like ….well not me.
2. Why didnt you put the picture up, it is just breasts now, lately i have been attracted to breasts o. Dunno y.
3. No update yet until I can think for another 4 weeks.
You are so silly for the free and merry comment LOL!!! You have been tagged
I think u want to be comfortable, so don’t wear the push up bra if u know u won’t be.
What’s wrong with 32A? That used to be my size not too long ago, until i gained some weight. Ok, to be honest i didnt need to wear a bra, but u don’t want to be nipplelicious all over the place.
You shd let breasts be FREE and be MERRY
HA HA HA HA HA. (and the funny thing is I totally concur/agree).
Vera can u be woman enuff to wear the push-up bra and let ur boobs loose? Lolll…(I’m all up for my comfort when I wear stuff, I don’t like pushing my clothes up or pulling my skirt down cos I’m uncomfortable…u’re right, it’s silly). Lollllll…I suggest that u be a good girl. 🙂
Look at this Vera and her verastic perfumes…ahhhh. Classy and no-nonsense bunz babe!
This post is verastically hilarious. I love it!!! U’re back mennn!
Pls what’s the best shop for 32C? (cos they are hard to come by!)(errrrm…Vera stop trying to guess if I’m asking for myself. Thanks).
Haha,hilarious post. I worked at Victoria’s Secret for a minute, so allow me to recommend:
1. Victoria’s secret secret embrace push up bra.
2. Victoria’s secret very sexy push up bra.
I swear by those bra’s!
Diamind: Your presence has been acknowledged. How you dey?
UnNaked: I’m very sorry 4 causing you such grief and stress oooo. You know I would never wanna cause you such wahala. In order to appease you, I will not go ahead and put up a picture of said breasts in the bra. Make you just siddon 4 that place dey wait me oh? Don’t go anywhere. Just stay there. LOL
Life of A Stranger: Well, my dear, I need no miracle in the breast department o. LOL. Perhaps, I should just 4get about getting a push-up bra sef.
Temmy Tayo: So you’re not small breasted ehn? LOL. If you say no. Me, I no fit shout. LOL. If you like looking @ breast, then why don’t you come & look @ mine? LOL. And you berra update oo!
TMINX: You know na true I talk. Breasts should be free & merry. I’ll check ur blog out 4 the tag
Sting: LOL. You used to be a size 32A? LOL. Hahahaha. That’s so funny. 32A is like fiction 2 me. But you’re right sha; I definitely wanna be comfortable.
Jaycee: No, my dear. I cannot be woman enough to let my breasts lose oo! I no fit. I am all up for comfort too; I really cannot be pulling and tugging my shirt. I no get time 4 all that kin wahala. As for the 32C, LOL. If you say it is not for you, then sure, I agree *rolling eyes*. But ehm, I dunno where 2 find that size o. It does not even exist in my world. LOL. Some day, I’ll blog about all my perfumes. But 4 now, I’ll keep collecting them.
Nigerian Drama Queen: So Victoria’s Secret is the bomb diggity, huh? Okay oo. I will go check it out, and if it doesn’t work ehn, you musto refund me all my money.
Ah, just wear the damn thing! Bet you’ll look great.
I likes ur tinking gal. List d gift….i will incorporate it into my baffday in august heheheheh!!!! Em….u shd av post d pix here, I bet u’ll get super super fast response dat ur system could crash from. heheheh Av a nice wkend V!!
Hmm abeg Vera, i hope the boobies were not jumping out of the bra sha… if not, abeg, carry go…
Anonymous: I’m tempted. I’d like 2 step outta my comfort zone & try it, but I can’t. If one person looks @ me the wrong way, I’ll run 2 the bathroom & hold my shirt with a pin.
NikkiSab: Hmm! If I put that kin picture up here, na him be say life as I know it will be over. I fitn’t. But that would be a pretty nice experiment. Maybe I should try it out with Funmi’s breasts. Hmmmm.
S. Chic: I no know how I take see the thing o. I have concluded that there is no way I am stepping out of my house with that push up bra. I know myself; I will continue tugging @ my shirt all night.
as long as your breasts dont end up looking like they are sprouing from your neck, u better push those babies up1. Lol, I only own one “sleeveless” bra – and they dont often come out of the closet.
vera i’ll buy u two pushup bra’s as ur gift for ur 50th birthday. but wait o, why do u need to push those things up. last time i checked they were naturally pushed up. i took notes during our last session, so dont be surprised how i tae know.
lol @sleeveless bra
Bumight: “Sleeveless” bras are not easy. They never fit/look as good as the pictures. The thing tire me oh. It’s all good sha.
Chief O: So what you’re saying is that you have been checking me out abi? I have kuku always known it. I have noticed the way you have been lookin @ me. Stop it ooo! If you must check me out, @ least put some down payment.
Black James Bond: Yes, abeg help me laugh ooo
i will make down payment. wetin be ur acct#, ur birthdate, ur debitcard #, and access pin. i’ll make the payment as soon as i have the required info.
vera by the way it wasnt like i was looking. u remember how u were trying to make me jealous cos i dont have wat u have.
where that blogville/facebook voyeur sef, (clears throat) yes funmie is her name
lol @ WOW x WOW x WOW x WOW
i used 2 have a psh-up bra once, back wen my breast weren’t so developed. i think i looked feminine enough 2 pass 4 a woman (cos i had d flattest ass & straightest hips). just now my ass & hips have ‘come out’, plus my breast. if i wore push-ups, esp with my low-cut clothes, na traffic jam o
babe wear ur puch up bra jo, nothing do u.
meanwhile i just got the rock and rose y valentino as a gift as wel, that perfume ehn? na die!! it just, in fact its d best ive had in a while…
ChiefO: You don kolo finish. What do you need my access number for? Just write me a check jo. As 4 having what I have….awww, my love, but that one na old news already na. We all know you don’t have it. We also all know u want it. Better luck next time, love.
Florida: LOL @ the traffic jam comment. Nne, na so I see am oh. Wearing a push up bra will just gimme way too much attention – the kind I’m not looking for.
35 Inches: Stop making me jealous oo! Don’t make me cum there & collect that perfume from you immediately. In short, where is that ur location sef?
update jare….
chiefo, y u dey ask about me? ehn? i owe u money?
any who, no comment vera, just update cos me i have no comment for ur bra sleevelessness, wetin consign me? i have my own breast palava…..
thanx for the bra u got me sha, i like it, its too hot….
bloggers… no i am not gay and yes vera and i often share braziers….
Funmie: Stop hounding me jo! And I have updated anyway. As for the bra, I want the money. That bra was not free!!! Where I take know you from sef? By the way, why did you have to come and write it on here that I got you a bra? Don’t be putting sand in my garri oo! People will soon think I actually like you. *HISSES*
No comments @ the sharing bra comment
loll@32A size
the A sizes are called “Almost boobs”
i support you jare they should let the boobs be free and be merry. nothing to jumble or dangle.lollllll
push up bras not for me. cos i am a D size already wetin i wan push up again?
this post is so hillarious.
wow x wow x wow.lolll
Darkelcee: They’re definitely “Almost Boobs” oh. Those little bras look like nipple patches. LOL. E no easy @ all sha. Boobs should definitely be allowed to roam free and be merry. Why not, if not?
Now, I’m curious about that picture. Do you want to show it to us or leave us to imagine how they look.
I might imagine something green and hideous 😉
Azuka: So what are you saying? Are you saying you wanna see it or what? Just say the word, baby. Say the word!!! If it makes you feel any better, it’s not green, and it’s definitely not hideous. But I’m sure you know that.
Not sure I can contribute meaningfully to this discussion than to say – I read it and liked it.
AbaBoy: LOL. Don’t worry, that’s meaningful enough. This is the Verastic Blog – there is hardly any meaningful (serious) talk here.