First of all, I’m soooo glad to be back! Second of all, I cannot thank God enough for that evil class being over…whew! Finally, I missed you all!!
As you all know, my love, Busola is getting married in three months time. And I’m pretty sure I have filled you in on the most important part of the day: I am the maid of honor! I plan on cascading down the steps of the banquet hall in a cat-like gracefulness…that’s of course, if they have steps. If they do not have steps, I guess I could just kinda walk in on air. Either way, I’ll be the envy of every woman (including the bride) and the desire of every man – including the groom. But that’s by the way. Sure, some of you might argue that this day is about Busola, the bride, but what do you know anyway?
After the wedding come the kids, right? It is for this reason that I, the first self-appointed maid of honor in history have also self-appointed myself as the god-mother to Busola’s unborn daughter (no, she is not yet pregnant, but I am just making future plans). It is imperative to note that Busola has promised to name her first daughter after me … how sweet, right? Well, it is sweet, but frankly, I am not satisfied. Why stop at giving the child my first name? Why not also give her my last name, Ezimora? I have not run the idea by Busola, but I already know her answer, “Vera, you are high!”
Another issue about this whole god-parenting thing worries me: what if the second daughter turns out to be cuter that the first daughter? As the smart genius that I am, I have made the best proposal ever to Busola: if the second daughter turns out to be prettier than the first daughter (my future god-daughter), I will return the first daughter for an even exchange of the second daughter? Since both kids would both be from the same parents (unless Busola plans on getting pregnant for another man while married to her husband *coughs*), they (the kids) are worth the same. Therefore, I should not be denied the right and opportunity to exchange the child at any given point in time. Busola’s failure to let me do so would result in her being sued to court for ‘refusal to have child exchanged’. So far, Busola’s response to this proposal has been, “Vera, you are high!” and “Can I get pregnant first?”
So my people, tell me, where have I gone wrong? As a future totally-hot, totally-cool god-mother, do I not owe it to myself to ‘acquire’ the best child I can? Keep in mind that even though I have self-appointed myself as the future god-mother, I am really doing Busola a favor because soooo many people are knocking my door down to get me as a god-mother, but I turned them all away for Busola. Sure, you might not know who these people are (even I, do not know who they are…yet), but does that mean they do not exist?
Well, I believe I have come to the end of my rant. When you’re leaving a comment, please encourage Busola to let me have my way. You can call it a petition, if you please. Just convince her that I am right and she is wrong!
Oh, and did I mention how good it is to be back???
Yep, you are definitely inhaling. I know a good lawyer to draw up a god-parenting contract to cover all the ifs and maybes. Welcome back!!!
Keep dreaming oh. I will suprise u with boys and we will see what you will do then. Anyways, I will reserve my other comments cos i don’t want people to know ur secret. (psychiatric breakdown: meaning your mental status). Don’t worry ok pookie; i won’t tell anymore that ur need help. ode! (lol)
welcome back sweetie…
Good to have you back and hope you kicked ass with that book.
God-mother to forthcoming gals, hey,you are pretty confident in that it will be girls. I got two girls and it was all by pure luck of desperation for cuteness. May be your girl will get girls. But sure you wil make a good god-mother and yes,Busola, she rocks man, so do her a favor and official appoint her to hot-god-mother throne. Boys or girls that is. I suspect you in for a rude awakening when your buddy gets a little hunk.
and hey, god mother is responsibility. I know of a good front who self-appointed and is not taking the girls out to anything, not even out in the sun. I must replace him with an outgoing character.
Mochafella: LOL. I can’t believe you said I’m inhalin. LOL. But anyway, go ahead and contactt he lawyer for me abeg. Thank u.
Pookie: Busola, don’t try me o! If you give birth to only boys, I will show uou shege!! How dare you disrespect me like that?!
Diamond: Thank you Diamond dearie. How have u been sleeping @ night without me? Musta been tough!!
welcome back, you have been missed – and still loony as ever..oops did I say that. Don’t worry I will sign my name, where is the list!
Hey, just saw the notification that you’ve updated. Had to say “Welcome back”. I’ll be back to read.
I’m 8th?!!! Well, technically, since Vera commented, I’m 7th. Also people like Tayo should not count because he did not read first.
Eh-heh, Vera, welcome o! What if, according to the dream, Busola ends up as godmother to YOUR child? Think about it…
LOL!!! you are really high. It’s good to have you back.
Vera!!! You’re back and crazier than ever…self appointing yourself as god-mother and returning a child for even exchange? Kolomental. That’s your name, lol. Let the woman get pregnant first enh? Kai!
(Singing like Mase)Welcome back,welcome back,welcome back! Only you wish u got Benjy’s like him.
Pookie abeg give am Boysssss.
Hope u made good progress wt ur book.
Welcome back.
Life of A Stranger: LOL. I missed you too, girl. How are you? Thank you 4 supporting me in my intention to xchange Busola kids if necessary.
Tayo: Thank you, sweetie. I’ll still stop by ur page to officially announce my return to you. How you dey sha?
Woman: You’ll do anything to bring your number up ehn? Well, my dear, first of all, Busola would definitely be a god-mother to one of my future children, but I am neither married nor engaged, so it is safe to say I will not be having said children any time soon. Biko, I have to have my big wedding and big honeymoon first.
Bubbles: Yes, I’m high. Thank you, lol. My dear, if this is what it means 2 be high, then I am an addict o!
JJ: LOL. My dear, I am only being proactive. I just wanna tell her the situation before we get there, shey you understand? I don’t wanna hear any stories when we get 2 that bridge. And this one that she is threatening to have only boys, pesin go wound o! If you know Busola, please go and warn her to stop saying that rubbish and give me the god-daughter I want. In fact, I need 2 talk 2 her fiance; I will coach him on how to give ‘us’ a girl.
Babzent: So you’re telling Busola to have boys ehn? Whose side r u on sef? If Busola ends up having a son, I will not forgive you o!
Mocha: Thank you! I feel sooo special.
Good to read from you again…
oh i have missed you my darling ever.. as outrageous and funny as ever… and yes… BUSOLA i beg you with the name of God… DONT listen to vera… lol imagine the confusion your child will go through after bearing the vera name for years… and suddenly being told that she now has to answer ‘the-daughter-that-used-to-be-vera’… lol… mba nu… thats a travesty!
Let the drums roll. The blogstar is back!
AbaBoyPart2: Thanks 4 stopping by oh; I really appreciate it.
Overwhelmed: How dare you tell Busola not 2 listen 2 me ehn? Which kin nonsense be that? Respect urself o! How dare u!! What is so wrong about me returning the child 4 an even xchange? Why you dey put sand 4 my garri now?? Overwhelmed, mind urself o!
Babsbeta: Long time!!! How body?
BUSOLA beta person how now. pele, hopefully vera wont burn out all ur energy b4 ur wedding. i know how she could get.
all you guys advocating for busie to get pregnant first, watch wat u say o abeg, b4 vera takes it upon herself to get busie pregnant whether by default or otherwise. then to those of you wondering how come vera know the sex of the child. its easy, she has made arrangements with busie’s husband to put all his lil male making swimmers on lock on that faithful day, nite and all other times in between during the baby making process.
vera isnt feeling too good by the way, word on the street is that she has moved ahead to get pregnant on busie’s behalf all in her quest for a god-daughter from busie. right now she is on the evening sickness stage cos when i called her last nite she was going to the hospital with busie.
Welcome back! UnNaked Soul missed you so much.I know this because he told me.
Wooohooo you’re back!!!!
VERA!!! Longest time ever!
Remain blessed!
I didn’t notice your absence. And i hope u’re prepared to do a lot of baby-sitting for your friend.
welcome back dahling!!!!!
pls busola let her become a god parent oh!
Chief: You no na true talk be that o! If Busola doesn’t get pregnant ASAP, I will take it upon myself 2 get her pregnant. I need my god daughter!
Mrs. Somebody: LOL. UnNaked missed me ehn? That yeye boy never wants 2 admit how much he loves me, but it is quite obvious, isn’t it? LOL. How u dey sha? I don miss u o.
Miss Jones: Yeah, I’m back gal!! How r u?
Eagle’s Nest: Yes oh, longest time. How r u, baby? Hope everything is okay with you.
Wienna: You didn’t notice my absence?? I’m prepared to do any kinda babysitting…as long as I don’t have any party 2 attend, LOL.
Confused Naija Girl: Thank you oh, my sister for petitioning on my behalf. If Busola doesn’t let me, I will take the baby from her by force.
Welcome back to the crazy world of Vera ooh! Kai…dis woman don come back…haha
Pleasant surprise, welcome back!
welcome back! funny post.
**hisss**.Busola doesn’t know what will be good for her girls.Gimme her number..lol.
Welcome back girlfriend.
..and plizz,the word verification thing scares the hell outta me.Remove.Shud’ve watched when i tried to type FYXKWQIYX!…lol
Hey, I’ve updated 🙂
So just cos u dan update now,u no go allow us rest again ….lol
Welcome back o.
NaijaDude: You missed me, didn’t you? C’mon admit it – you missed me!
Taurean Minx: S’up blogger best friend! How body? So what continent are you on sef?
Mimi: Thanks babe! How u dey?
JayBabe: Girl, I don’t like the word verification thing either, but every time I turn it off, I start getting spam. As 4 Busola. she will be lucky 2 have me as her daughter’s god mom. In fact, she should be on her knees begging me.
PhantomWriter: I’ll definitely check it out then. Thanks 4 stopping by.
NaijaBloke: Yes oh, I will not let u rest. Wetin u fit do???
Dear Busola,
You have a great friend, a worthy maid of honour and a delightfully insane beautiful future -god mother to your unborn children, you are blessed among men.
Please look upon Vera’s proposal.
thanks.
Welcome come back love.
Vera, you are well and truly high!! Imagine exchanging your god daughter for her younger sis simply cos she is prettier. But its good to have you back.
Oh Poor Busola and her unborn babies! Let me start by saying: Vera you are sick! you neeed help! Get help ASAP. I will recommend a good babalowo (medicine man)…yup, I love you that much! WELCOME BACK!
Omohemi: My love…thank you!! You see, that’s why I trust you oh. I knew you would support me…unlike some yeye ones that said I need to see a babalawo. How u dey? I’ll see to it that Busola gets ur petition ASAP.
Calabar Gal: Are u saying that exchanging her based on her looks is not a good enough reason? Calabar Gal, obviously you do not know anything. U need 2 sign the petition quickly jo
Sapphireaster: LOL. This gal, how can you recommend a medicine man 4 me ehn? I thought you love me! Whose side r u on anyway? Busola’s unborn babies r gonna be lucky 2 have me in their life.
Yes I’m back now Vera. Busola, abeg since your unborn babies don turn to hot cake now, I’ll advise you to hold auction for God Mothers. Highest Bidder wins, Chikena!
Oya Vera, go and start counting your money. They must not outbid you o!
Tayo, it’s funny you mentioned the auction because that is exactly what I plan on doing with my children. I will auction them off to the highest bidder. But it’s nice how u came up with the same idea.
I did the same with Temmy. i am gonna be the maid of honor and also be the god mother to her first child, whether she likes it or not.
Busola, Vera is right, but i can assure you that the first baby girl would be beautiful. my eldest sister stole my mum’s beauty, though mum is still very pretty, myself and my other sisters can not hold a candle to them. na so dem do us.
Delilah, thank you oh!! Thank you very much. You’re a true daughter of God. I like ur style. All I know is that the 1st daughter better be cute o!!!
What exactly is a godmother/godfather supposed to do anyway? Christian denominations require responsibility for the child’s spiritual upbringing while secular reasoning is that a godparent is a potential foster parent in the event of the parent’t demise. So my dear, except you are prepared to teach them Bible study till they are 18 or adopt Busola’s children while simultaneously plotting to murder your friend and her husband (which it seems…), then give up the god mother idea!
http://najiamusing.blogspot.com
So what…now you’ve appointed yourself as coach upon your forced appointment of god-mother role? You will now coach her husband on how to give you a girl? Where will it end? Enh Vera?
Vera’s friend Busola, i can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through…it is well!
KShorty: Hahaha. I could not stop laughing at ur comment. So you do not trust me ehn? Who says I cannot teach them bible study? I will hurt you oh! LOL. You should see me laughing here.
JJ: LOL. You r crazy oh. How dare u say u cannot imagine what Busola is going through?! I will have you know that I am the one who is going thru a lot with having Busola as a friend. I don suffer o!
russian-ibo girl. u will not kill busola with all this ur cruel and unusual purnishment. soon now u will say u wan follow her go her honeySUN. sine u don dey plan how to coach Mr. F on how to make girl child.
under my own vera era era era hey! LOL
you don show abi? how is it doing you this time? pele dear, i know it can be very hard. but you’ll survive. chie! this thing called madness no go die better death.
my Partner-In-Kolo… i am vexing on behalf of you. seriously.
my sweetheart. why did you leave me for so long? oshinkoko is askin after you oh. make u return the spoon wey you collect from am before you escape commot for that place (don’t let me spill the garri o. you & i know where you’ve been)
*wink*
What the heck did u record on ur voice message thingy?
And yes I’m happy for u being the maid of honor.You’ll have so much fun.
ms vera, you appointed yourself chief bridesmaid. i am just to far away to fight you for the position, besides busola doesnt have a choie. Any ho i have insider information that the first child is going to be a little frankie, 2nd will be a little vera and the third will be the cutest. i have already accepted the position of godmother to her. anyway i will see ya at the wedding oh.
Busolaandfrank.com
Chief: Obviously, you’re a bit behind on schedule. Of course, I’m going on honeymoon with Busola…duh! If I don’t go, who will go? You think Frank wants 2 take Busola??? He’s only taking her cause I’m coming, that’s all. Believe that!
UnNaked Soul: I have read ur comment several times and I have been laughing my head off each time. How dare you call me kolo?! Who are you to brand me as kolo? Abeg, no be me and you oh! I am not half as kolo as you are; in fact, I am not kolo @ all.
Thoughts Aloud: I did not record anything on my voice thingy. Whenever u come on my blog, people’s messages automatically start playing. I ought to fix it, but I’m too lazy. I know I’ll definitely have loadza fun @ the wedding. Can’t wait!!
Ms. Davis: Do I know you? Oya reveal yourself ASAP. Little Vera will be the cutest child of all oh; you better believe dat!
Welcome back dear, its good 2 have u back!! I have missed ur posts n yeah on to other pressing issues is d book completed n ur answer berra be yes or else?
on second thought what if she gives birth to twins?
You CRACK me up!!!
It is really good to see you back.
Biodun: Don’t threaten me o! Don’t make me come down there and show you pepper right now. And no, I am not done yet. I was given till Sept. 15th to finish, so I still have a lil time. E no dey easy now…ehn.
Omohemi: If she has twins, they will both answer my name. One will be Vera1 and the other Vera2. What’s wrong with that? Oh, but if the twins are both sexes, then the girl will be VeraGirl and the boy will be VeraBoy. Smart huh?
The Shopaholic: I’m glad that I crack you up. How you dey?
seriously mehn… vera you are high on something very serious…
My first tyem here n i’m loving it! Busola don suffer for ur hand o! Hope u’ve come to stay sha. You just got urself a new stalker~heheeeheheee
AIVY: My dear, tell me something I don’t know already. I know I’m high on something, and I know it’s something very serious.
Manda: S’up Manda!! I’m definitely here 2 stay. I’m always very happy to have a new stalker, lol.
Ok you cannot make me like you and then not update (either of your blogs) for ages. Not fair!!!