And this time, it’s not an April Fool’s trick – like that other time. I’m sorry you had to find out this way. And I’m sorry I kept it away from you, but if it makes you feel any better, I also kept it away from Mr. Shoes. You see, this isn’t exactly how I planned to get married, but as they say, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.
I’ll make this as short and as simple as possible: from Friday, February 5th to Sunday, February 7th, we experienced suffered a snow storm. It took me five hours to shovel the sidewalk and dig Fotunatus [my car] out of 26 inches of snow. School was out for over a week. Less than a week later, we received another 12 inches of snow. More shoveling and digging ensued. By the end, I was sure I would need a chiropractor to fix my back, shoulders, waist, and arms.Since then, it has snowed about three or four more times, albeit very lightly. This week and next week, we’re expecting snow; I don’t know the amount.
So, where does Mr. Shoes come in, you ask? Well, you see, while we were shoveling, my male neighbors shoveled and shoveled and shoveled — while their wives stood by the door and directed them, “Honey, you didn’t get that little part there,” and occasionally, their wives brought them soup, sandwiches, and warm beverages.
I want to be a wife, darn it! Shoveling isn’t fun. I’d rather be giving directions and offering warm beverages. So, yes, Mr. Shoes and I will be getting married today. I have to make sure that I marry him before the next snow storm. Wouldn’t want him thinking that I married him just because of the snow storm. I mean, what kind of wife would that make me?
chayoma says
Buhaha… n to think i do my shovelling on a daily basis, courtesy living in CANADA…
Good Naija Girl says
You are SO SILLY!
Formerly stealth reader says
tease lol! and there i was hyperventilating through each sentence lol………….
wordsmith says
hahaha you brought me out of commenting retirement sef… damnnnn I was already booking flights and everything lol.
you know what happened to the girl who cried Wedding!
Ehi_remen says
Ha ha …Nice one…But I am sure u can get ur Neighbor to shovel ur snow as well 😉
c_u_o says
You are just E.V.I.L. *sideeye*
I was about to book my ticket *hiss*
hahaha…nice one!
Vera Ezimora says
Chayoma: Ah, that one is your own oh! I didn't send you to Canada. Just because you're shoveling snow everyday does not mean that I should be shoveling snow at all.
Good Naija Girl: LOL. Of course, I'll have to disagree. This is a serious case.
Formerly Stealth Reader: LOL. Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't mind the hyperventilation at all.
WordSmith: Sharrap! Who is crying wedding? Lemme tell you something, this is not a cry. This is a real wedding, so you better go and book that ticket. I'll tell you the date once I brief Mr. Shoes on our new relationship status: engaged.
Ehiremen: The snow is too much. My neighbors help shovel a little bit. Like really, really little, but I still do the rest by myself.
C.U.O: See this chic ooo!! Who is stopping you from booking your ticket? You better book it oh. You don't wanna miss this wedding, trust me.
Anoda Phase says
lol…very smart move; marry him b4 d next snow storm…but seeing as it's an emergency wedding, he wouldn't have time to gather ur plenty bride price, or make arrangements for the whole cow that each of ur guests is supposed to get…
NBB says
lol. Mr shoes is in for some snow shovelling!
Blowing Blessings Your Way says
LMBO!!!!..I ain't madd at u!…shoot, I need to follow suit and tie that knot also…cuz shoveling was no fun!!!
naija mom abroad says
OMG! I'm almost crying from laughter! My dear, marry him before he knows what hit him. Meanwhile, does the poor guy know he's gettig married? lol!
mystoriesmytestimonies says
LOL…
u are tooo funny…
me sef..i like tori….
LOL….
temmy tayo says
Vera!!!!!!!!
Thanks for making my BP rise….u hear. Will inbox you. Wait, I won't. lol
Here was i already doing colour coordination for the wedding…
Qmoney says
i have finally given up on u!!!!!no stories
Omotee! says
No be Vera? i was not fooled one bit.
poor Mr. Shoes, shoveling plus ALL the duties to perform for Vera!!!
just in case u r serious sha, lets know the date, i wont touch my salary
Myne Whitman says
This Verastic sef, lol. See as I flew here from blogger!
Justjoxy says
Very funny. Some people marry based on the size of the wallet, for you, it's all about the muscles. Not that I'm saying his wallet ain't big o, lol.
BBB says
ah vera
uve really done it this time… ahn ahn raising our hopes like this
u better make sure u post wedding pictures this ight or ur finished oh!!!
Fragilelooks says
hahahahhahhahahahahahhahahaha. U R NOT SERIOUS. LMBO
leggy says
lol…crazy,crazy,crazy.lol
Hawt says
loool…u are one helluva crazy woman! I haven't been here in ages, nice to be back. hope ur good tho'
CaramelD says
Vera!!!!
What will now happen is that when you ARE actually getting married, we won't believe you!!! You will post pictures, invites, venue etc and we will think you are having us on again LOL
Quaggar says
Veralistic vera, what do we do with u? Lol. I was already like dang.. and i'd spent half my salary already. 🙂
Ms.O says
This is how madness starts, but then again it Vera we know she is CRAZY!!!!! Poor Mr Shoes, am sure he did not agree to this.
FFF says
chei, a mam na umunwoke bara uru otu a. hahahhahhaaa
abeg, go marry Mr Shoes joo. sufferment no dey sweet
Mamuje says
I couldnt agree more Vera, let us know if it eventually worked out. Goodluck…:)
Homie GFunk says
LOL!!! This is hilarious. I can always count on this blog for humor.
smiling wifey says
Ha ha ha…that was too funny. I can recall the last snow storm just like yesterday. I was one of the wives bringing hubby hot tea and commanding him to make sure he clears a walking path for me well well so I won't fall. I use that to guilt him ever since I slipped and fell infront of the house for all the neighbors to see. Ah, the perks of marriage. My dear, drug him up and take him to Baltimore court house, sharp sharp. I can even stand as a witness if you want…walking distance from my job.
Rene says
lool……silly u
Azazel says
LOL congrats o
Vera Ezimora says
Anoda Phase: Chei. You're right oh. Okay, well, here's what's gonna happen. We're going to wed in court. Then later, we'll do the big white wedding. That way, we'll still be able to buy one cow for each guest. Can't believe you still remember that. LOL.
NBB: Yes ooo! But don't worry, it'll be a labor of love. He'll totally like it — even if he doesn't admit it.
Blowing Blessings: My point exactly! Shoveling ain't fun, so you better go ahead and get hitched like me.
Naija Mom Abroad: Nope. He doesn't know he's getting married. He'll find out soon enough. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. LOL. I'll definitely make sure we get it done before he knows what hits him.
My Stories My Testimonies: Thanks, my dear. Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
Temmy Tayo: LOL! Who said you should stop doing the color coordination? By all means, please continue. And yes, inbox me, too.
QMoney: Oh, you break my heart. Why would you give up on me? So because I am getting married, you wanna give up on me, huh?
Omotee: Hahaha. What do you mean by poor Mr. Shoes? Why not poor Vera? You don't have to wait for the white wedding before you stop touching your salary. You need to start saving it right now oh.
Myne Whitman: Hahahaha. What is wrong with flying here from blogger? You did a good thing now. Hahaha.
JustJoxy: That's just prove that I am after his ehm… heart … not his wallet. Tehehe. His heart, in turn, will make him shovel, but that's by the way.
BBB: Hahaha. I will put up wedding pictures as soon as we get married. Promise. LOL.
Vera Ezimora says
Fragile Looks: You'll be surprised just how serious I am. In short, the wedding will be very, very soon. You just wait and see.
Leggy: All of you that are calling me crazy ehn, I'l surprise you people. Una go see.
Hawt: I am good oh. Just tryna be half as hawt as you are. But ko easy at all. How are you?
Caramel: LOL! Lai lai. This wedding thing works every single time. Tehehe. Don't worry, when I'm really getting married, you'll know for sure. I'll tell you how much you must donate toward the wedding.
Quaggar: What you all can do with me is love me and show your love for me by donating money toward my wedding. LOL.
Ms. O: Ta! Sharrap your mouth there. Poor Mr. Shoes ko. I am the one you should be feeling sorry for. He hasn't agreed yet, but he will agree by fire.
FFF: Thank you jare. I knew you'd understand. I will marry him whether he likes it or not because I refuse to shovel this snow one more time — not that that's the reason I'm marrying him, of course. LOL.
Mamuje: Thanks for your support. I've always known that I can count on you. I'll let you know how it goes.
Homie GFunk: Awww. Hehehe. I'm glad you can always count on finding humor here. Thanks, boo!
Smiling Wifey: Oh, you're bestest commenter! You'll be a witness to our marriage? Yippee!!! Thanks, hon. I'll take your advise. Tonight, I'm definitely drugging him and taking him downtown. He won't know what hit him till he wakes up. Muhahahaha *evil laugh*
Rene: Is that your subtle way of telling me that you want to be a bridesmaid?
Azazel: Thanks, hon! 🙂
Anonymous says
Veraaaaaaaaaaaa……..
u re definately something else.
LucidLilith says
Girl!!!!!!!!!
I almost got on the phone to give you a good talking to. You cant just get married oh! There is the aso ebi to discuss. shio.
Vera Ezimora says
Anonymoussssssssssssssssssss!: You are something else, too. LOL. This shouting out of your name thing would sound a lot better if there was a name. LOL
Lucid Lilith: Well, excuse the heck outta me. What was I thinking, tryna get married without discussing asoebi with the one and only ROSIE? Mba nu! LOL. Asoebi must be discussed. Pick the colors, babe. I'm on my way to drug Mr. Shoes, so I can drag him to the court house.
Rita says
Oh Vera…lol…
Please I want to see the wedding pictures.
Hope you did not get some muscles with the shoveling…
bob-ij says
VERA! I don't even know when you're fooling us or telling the truth! Until I see wedding pictures… I will close my eyes to all fibs! lol
~x~
aeedeeaee says
lol! Marry Mr shoes biko make the guy resume im husbandly durries lol nay..LMAO..
Vera Ezimora says
Rita: Wedding pictures will be available — as soon as I drug the mister and drag him to the court house. I don't know if I developed muscles o! Maybe I should join WWF and find out. LOL.
Bob-Ij: Hahaha. I am hurt! So you don't trust me, ehn? I am your sister oh! Your very good sister for that matter. How can you not trust me? How can you call my impending nuptials a fib?
Aeedeeaee: Yes, indeed! That is what they are: husbandly duties. The way those women were just standing at the door and barking orders at their husbands, I liked it! And I thought, I can do this. In fact, I'll be very good at it 🙂
Issey, Alice, Uche says
mORE reasons to get married apart from changing of tyres….but here in Naija..my equivalent of shovelling snow is fanning me when nepa plus generator plus inverter has failed…..lol
joicee says
This is a valid reason to marry him o. In the neighbourhood where I stay, all the people out shovelling are men- husbands ,sons, brothers, not a female in sight.
But how come o, the snowing has not stopped?!haba!
Funms-the rebirth says
hahahahahaha………. you are something else………
I was about wrapping your wedding gift, well guess those shoes are mine now
The Girl with the Red Hair says
See me thinking Wedding bells is around the corner.
Pele@shoving snow
Love this
Vera Ezimora says
Issey, Alice, Uche: Hahahahaha. Now, as one who intends on moving back to Nigeria some day, I have to say that I LOVE your idea!! And I thought shoveling was the only reason to get married! Ha! LOL.
Joicee: That is what I have been saying oh. Only the men have been shoveling. Not a woman has been in sight. Well, actually, this one neighbor of mine, a woman, has been shoveling her snow, but I don't think she's married. She has kids though, so she's either divorced, a widowed, a baby mama, or maybe her husband is out of town or something. I don't know. I never see him anywhere. Nne, I don't know why the snow has refused to stop. It has not snowed this month, thankfully, but they've been calling for it though.
Funms: Sharrap jare! About wrapping which present? The shoes I've been asking for since two months ago? That's what you were finally about to wrap? And who even told you that I want shoes as my wedding gift? Mind your sef o! LOL.
The Girl With The Red Hair: But wedding bells are indeed around the corner, honestly. Once I am able to drug him, believe me, there'll be wedding bells. Best believe it!
Ms Sula says
Why do I know you are actually serious? 🙂
pawpawandmango says
Too funny! I'm still stuck at Fortunatus. LWKMD