My last post brought up some very funny questions and comments. I now feel the need to defend myself and elaborate on this apparently strange issue….as if no1 else has forgotten to brush their teeth before! lol.
Just Toluwa asked about my morning rituals. First of all, I do not usually forget to brush my teeth. In fact, I brush more than once – at least twice, which is why the physical state of my toothbrush was – and still is – an enigma to me. That being said, my bathroom-related morning rituals are as follows…
1. Wash my underwear. [I went to a boarding school in Naija. We used 2 wash our underwear every morning b4 taking a bath. It’s been years, but I have not been able to drop the habit. By the way, I wash my underwear first because I feel like it gives me the opportunity to wash my hands b4 brushing my teeth.]
2. Gargle with Listerine pre-brush whitening rinse. [We don’t usually buy this @ home, but the regular Listerine mouthwash we just got came with it]
3. Brush my teeth @ least twice.
4. Rinse my mouth with Listerine mouthwash [ooh la la]
5. Wash my face with an Olay Facial Cloth. [I don’t know why I use this cloth. I’ve been using it for years. I keep using it because it’s a habit. No complaints from my face anyway]
6. Operation Finally-Take-A-Shower begins. [I wash myself from the top down. Sometimes once; sometimes twice. Then I tie the sponge around my waist, so that the water coming out of the shower head can rinse me & my sponge down. Yes, I also learnt this from boarding school]. The End!!!
So what was the point of explaining all this? Well, I was just tryna defend myself 4 forgetting to brush my teeth on Saturday before attending the baby shower. You see, I woke up @ about six in the morning that day. I did all my rituals except the part of brushing my teeth. Why? I intended to go back to sleep, so I figured there was no point brushing my teeth because I was still going to sleep. My plan was to wake up later and brush my teeth. But alas, I never did go back 2 bed. Instead I had some brunch with the unclean mouth. So you see how I ended up going to the baby shower with my mouth…???
On another note, Temite has been wanting to know the reason for my happiness. Well, who am I to keep hiding it? I will tell the truth o. Why shall I shy? Temite, darling, in order to express my joy well well, I will sing a song 4 u. I had to edit the original version a little bit:
*Vera singing* Temite dey ask me say, Vera wetin dey make you smile? I just dey tell her say, na Jesus dey make me smile. I dey smile, I dey smile, I dey smile. I dey smile, I dey smile, smile, smile. I just dey tell her say, no be me oh na handwork of God. *end of singing*
By the way, while on the issue of forgetting to do some essentials b4 going out, I also once forgot to wear underwear b4 going out…and I was wearing a skirt. But you see, it was totally Busola’s fault. I was about to take a shower when she got to my house and we had to go shopping. So I had to just dress up and follow her since she refused to wait for me to take a shower. Apparently, I take too long in the shower. And uhm, no, I did not deliberately forget to wear underwear. Going commando is not really my thing – yet.
P.S. No, I did not try on any pants (trousers) @ the shop. That woulda been risky business….seeing as I had no protection.
LOLLLL @ washing your underwear (boarding house sturvvs). I feel ya…muhaha! Only YOU will write about your UNDERWEAR Vera, ONLY YOU OOOOOOOO….(lol).
Aiight, it shd be our bed-time abi? Anyways, I’m first (for once in history)…he he.
lol.
u didnt try any pants on cos u didnt have protection? veraaaaa. na u biko.
ialso do that jare. so i no go form for u and myself.
its good to always be happy.
lolllllll how pessin go 4get to wear pata But wait o….. breeze no blow u 4 dia??? :p
Verastic again!!!(saying it like “don jazzy again “)…you mean you forgot to put on underwear…hmmmmm(deep sigh!)…no comment…
:-))…chei…yarinya…Only you o!!!
not wear pant!!!!!! wow
Boarding school tricks.
I still wash my underware in d morning.
Recently stopped tying my sponge around my waist.
lol!!! forgot to add…I still tie my sponge round my waist too…thot I was the only one in the world that does that:-)…!!!
lol at tying sponge round ur waist…brings back boarding school memories
i also pick up washing undies everyday from boarding school as well..and i also do it till date. always find it weird when i see girls gather undies for the week and wash over the weekend…
Wait – you wash your underwear? Really? Before you put them on? But aren’t they still wet? I’m confused.
No wonder married men sometimes circle u like flies. I guess the know something u didn’t know they knew. COMMANDO!
i have forgotten to wear underwear to school too..it was very uncomfortable…
Vera…u have exonerated yourself..lol!
so, in the middle of exams, did u ever break this your morning ritual and if u did, which one did u skip?
Vera, u had on a skirt, yet u “forgot” to put on panties?! THAT is very suspicious.
LOL! you are such a boarding school kid! I remember doing those same things in boarding school, unlike you though I’ve dropped the habit.
one spongecase of water to wash your underwear…lol
Jaycee: Yes, you’re first love! At last!!! lol. But underwear is an interesting topic to write about oh. Abi you no know? lol. You should try it some time. *wink, wink*
Dark Elcee: Ehen now. I could not try on any underwear because I didn’t wanna catch something. Someone else coulda worn the trouser b4 me. Couldn’t risk exchaging bodily fluids with some faceless girl. Na so pesin go catch something. *hiss* lol
LG: LOL. Breeze blow me oh! That was how I realized I was unprotected. Imagine how cautious I was the entire day. Busola laughed her head off.
No Limit: Only me ke? No oh. I cannot be the only yarinya to have suffered this. It was a natural occurence…coulda happened to anyone!
FFF: LOL. Don’t tell me it never, ever happened 2 u.
Oluwadee: LOL. Baby, why did you stop tying your sponge now? Please go and restart it. We must become a movement (like Barack’s presidency). We must become an international sensation (of sponge tiers around the waist). lol
No Limit: LOL!! Seee? There are plenty of us around oh. We need to form a facebook group. lol. These days there are facebook groups for everything.
Aloted: Abi!! I cannot store my underwear oh. Soooo weird. I musto wash it in the morning. So you used to tie sponge around your waist too ehn? LOL. Fun times!
Darius: lol. No, I don’t wear the wet underwear. I wash the one I was wearing before taking a shower (instead of throwing it into the laundry basket). You get? lol
ChiefO: Shut up your mouth. I don’t go out commando. That was just a one day thing jo. Warn yourself ooo.
Just Toluwa: Thank you, love. I feel free. Who knew freedom could taste so good? lol. Now that I have been vindicated by you, no1 else is allowed to point fingers @ me.
Webround: Nope. Didn’t skip any step. Just had to wake up a little earlier. lol. Skipping a step will make me uneasy for the rest of the day oh, haba. lol.
Sting: LOL. You’re mad!! Didn’t I explain that it was all Busola’s fault?? I no dey go commando o. lol. It was just a senior moment, that’s all.
thank you oh, we really needed to know that.
Vera, you still dey use that Tit-brush? lol
why wash ur underwear? I dont get it. I just do everything when I do my laundry. I guess I wont understand since i never went to boarding sch.
veraaaaaa! u don kolo finish o! How will u leave ur house without pata? Shebi u wore it to sleep. So you were dripping all around b-more…lol kai! Only God knows how many other fine girls like u, commando around town. I carry yansh for u o 😉
I can totally relate to washing ur ‘payint’ every morning. I hated that crap. I had the tendency to not wash it everyday and then pick one dirty one the night before, wash it and then put it between two mattresses for quick drying…lol memories
Ok brushing I understand but how can you forget to wear your payint?!
Lol you are one kain babe.
Scratching my head trying to figure which of the topics you mentioned in this blog that I want to pick on.. the tien of the spong around waist like a voodo village woman.. or going commando in public or whole morning rituals..
taken a deep breath.. it must be an igbo thing.. because i can’t understand..
All in all..hmmm ” risky business.. seeing as I had no protection” lol
Vera go back to my comment on “just in case bag” If you have that thing.. you will always have protection… lol.. LMAO…
The good thing is that you are keeping it safe..
Bumight: LOL @ the spongecase of water. Yes o!! I sooo remember that. Even during water scarcity, you can go around begging everyone for a spongecase of water. Before you know it, you’ll have half a bucket which was more than enough to take a shower…and then some!
Geisha. Song: You’re very welcome, love.
Aloofar: Actually, I already replaced it. I replaced it a day after I put that post up, but one will never know. The new tit brush looks just like the one I blogged about. I think it’s time 2 replace it again.
Iwalewa: Yes oh. You definitely would not understand. I’m so used to washing that I cannot stop now.
Nefertiti: LOL. I would not leave my dirty underwear oh. I feel so uneasy about it. lol @ putting it between two matrasses for quick drying. Thank you for carrying yansh 4 me.
30+: lol. It was not my fault oh. How come no1 is blaming Busola for my predicament?
Mr Xprexxion: That is just wrong! You know that is not the protection I was talking about. lol. No dey misyarn ooo. Or I will report!! And it’s not an Igbo thing o. Don’t make me hurt you.
VERA!!!!
Sweery, me I blame Busola o. How can she make YOU forget to wear you panties like that! A grown woman like you, going around the mall with no painty. (LOL). You are seriously crazeeee, ehn na u sabi o. Didnt you smell your breath before you left the house? Didnt you feel the breeze all up in there and remember to wear panties and you were wearing a skirt too? HA! wonders shall never end. So Na God dey make you smile ehn, we thank him o. So like what did God do to make you smile so? Did he give you something new? something shiny? Do tell! You will not believe what I dreamt about last night! Im beginning to get scared men!
lmao@ forget to wear underwear…didnt u feel a little wierd?
I agree with you Vera that it’s not an Igbo thing but i wonder if Busola also made you forget your bra.
hahahaha, Verastic, you are too much. Why was I smiling the whole way through this post.
So you are not a commando queen? Well, um, no comment. **looks around sheepishly**
I saw your post on nigeriansinamerica.com
i like your language. i think i will use humour too as my new gadget. i am sure it will work for me
Temite: Thank you jo for blaming Busola. God will reward you. So now you want to know what God has done 4 me? LOL. This babe, you’re not serious. As for my breath, I guess I didn’t smell it. Either that, or it was naturally minty anyway. lol. Yeah, I wish.
Incognaija: I dunno how I coulda walked out of the house without an underwear. As you know, it just doesn’t feel right. But I eventually tuned into the strange breeze that was passing thru that area. That was when I realized I didn’t have any underwear on. But like I said, it was all Busola’s fault.
You go serious boarding house true true. For u to still wash your underwear before u bathe and dat tying sponge part is just classic, i remember my room mates in uni used to do dat all d time!
i see ol rituals never die. the tying of sponge round waist is news to me o
vera all this, “it was a one time thing” claim doesnt hold water abeg.
na escort me! escort me! slave trade take start.
commando oshi
Mizchif: Yes oh. No be lie you talkk, my sister. I kinda miss boarding school. Maybe it’s not the school I miss, but my friends. Kai. Everyone don dey marry, dey born pikin everywhere.
Dada’s Luv: You never heard of tying a sponge around your waist for real? lol. Oh, well. That was an everyday thing for me back then, and it still is.
ChiefO: Abeg go siddon jo!!! We’re not all like you oh. I stand by my claim: it was a one time thing! When I see you, I’m soooooo gonna beat you up.
Vera na you biko truly! Forgot to wear undies on a skirt? Talk about fear.
Those boarding house rituals are now a permanent habit except i have resulted to doing my undies when I do my laundry. Those extra minutes saved in the morning are worth it.
Tying the sponge around my waist is a way to conserve water. Hurray for the boarders for preserving the ecosystem by sustainable consumption.
CRAZy chick…
a good friend of mine just joined blogger, go show him some love..
http://emeka-whatisthislife.blogspot.com/
Vera — eeww @ the commando outing. Thank God you did not slip and fall and show your business to the entire mall.
Btw- no need to defend your grooming (or lack of grooming) habits. You should hear what some people do in the privacy of their bathrooms.
Its official.
Vera has great personal hygeine habits.
But girl u are something else sha o…I still love u anyway.
Luscious Ron: LOL. I woulda been afraid of not wearing an undie too now, but I forgot. I’m human jare. The funny thing is that obviously I have no reason to try to conserve water here (not that I should be wasteful), but it’s nothing like boarding skool life. Yet, I insist on always typing the darn thing around my waist. Oh, well.
Life of A Stranger: Okay, I will most certainly go and check your friend out – just because you called him a ‘good friend.’ But come oh, what does ‘good friend’ mean exactly? Please kowataciate! And thanx 4 calling me crazy. lol.
Rosie: LOL @ the ewww. Wetin na? I was trying to be natural. I shudder to think of what people in the privacy of their bathroom. I can only imagine!
Aphrodite: LOL. I love you more, darling!! Where have you been??? Glad 2 have ya back!
Lol… I think most of us are guilty of the above, and you did not wear your pant?!!am sure that place got the much needed breeze… you are lucky you din’t have to sit on a table with small boys crawling and playing under
lol ” going commando…lol…how??lol…hmmm not that i have forgotten..yet..lol…
Girl, hehehe.
@ Tales
That’s nasty – the little kids bit. Pervy even.
lmao… vera you are so funny oh.. “Operation Finally-Take-A-Shower begins” too funny!
yeah recognise some of those habits in me too.. all from naija schooling and upbringing.. unlike the things I saw in uni here in England, made me cringe to the core! no brushing of teeth, no washing of underwear for days on end.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrgh! lol…
Hope you’re good.
Have a great weekend.
Much love
I’ve gone commando as well in the past
only that in my case
it was on purpose
You sure say no bi chainsaw dey ur mouth instead of teeth?
I feel so much for the brushes that have serviced u…
Ha! U dint wear Putu ke???
how come u 4got? Didnt u feel the wind blowing through the ‘grass’?
Tales&Tallies: Eww @ the lil boys crawling under me, but hey, at least they woulda gotten a first hand look at a woman's anatomy abi? That way, they wouldn't need those rubbish pictures they draw in textbooks. I woulda shown them the real thing. Ewwwwww. I can't believe I just said that.
Shonavixen: R u sure you have not "forgotten?" You be major suspect oh. Check your history again, babe.
Naijalines: LOL. Abi oh. Help me tell Tales. I cringed @ the thought of the little boys crawlin under me. Yikes!
Remi: LOL. I feel you on that no washing of underwear thing 4 days. It makes my body itch. How can I be in the same house/room with unwashed underwears? Mba nu! lol.
Miss Definitely Maybe: Now, why am I not surprised?? LOL. You don kolo finish for real. You're mad.
Afronuts: LOL. First of all, who told you there is "GRASS" there? Anyhooo, I sure did feel the wind oh; that was how I realized I forgot to wear an underwear. LOL @ the chainsaw comment. You're not serious @ all.
What type of sponge can be tied around a waist?
Naapali: Those long sponges we use in Naija now. Okay, I will take a picture of it … just 4 u.
LOL…u too funny. I definitely also wash my pant every single morning. Oh for the love of naija boarding schools! And I used to tie my sponge around my waist too when I had those long-type sponges. I've only found those in naija. Now I use one of those puff-type sponges. Wow & with the mouth wash action…LOL…that is sooo me after brushing twice.
Anyaposh: Oh, my God!!! Maybe we are twins!! lol. Hmmm, you never might know oh. We mighta been separated @ birth.
going commando is the way to go these days. There has been many a quickies gotten these ways, Just pull the pants up, get a condom out of the wallet and go at it like a rabid dog. Ok i totally went over board with that. Sorry.