First of all, my sincere apologies go out to Noni Moss for making her like me and then having the effontry to not update. Imagine the likeness! What insolence! Ehm, Noni, please forgive me. It is the devil oh! But as we all know, the devil is a liar! Once again, he has failed. That being said, here is your verastic update.
I’m seriously starting to reconsider this my Wednesday update thingy. This is because sometimes I have something to blog about before Wednesday, but I have 2 wait till Wednesday, and by the time Wednesday comes, I have lost the zeal to blog about it; other times, I don’t have much 2 blog about on Wednesday, but I have 2 force myself because it is Wednesday. I think I will just go back to freestyling and blogging as the spirit moves me. I’m just gonna blog when I have something interesting 2 blog about, so do check back often.
On Saturday (Aug 11th), I attended NaijaFest with my friends, Busola, Funmi, Uju, and Ibukun. That yeye Chief was there too, and guess who I finally met? Cherub. She even introduced me to her boyfriend. (Ok, I just checked out Cherub’s page & found something out: she now lives in B’more?! When?! Obviously I have been missing out LOL.) Back 2 NaijaFest…I could not stay to the end because Uju and I had another party 2 attend. A mutual friend of our mothers was celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary in a big way, and we were ushers. We thought it was gonna be a small thing, but the woman said we should wear a huge gele. Here is a picture of Uju & her gele. 
Due 2 the anonymity of my face (yes, my face is anonymous in spite of what u may think!), I am unable 2 put pix of myself up (but if you already know what I look like – without my permission, then erase that memory from ur head!). Funmi, Busola & Timbo came 4 the party too. Busola was looking hot as usual; when will she realize that I can never marry her? Anyway…
Uju and I picked soooo much $$. It is a mystery that no1 stepped on and broke my fingers in the process of picking money. Let’s not even mention all the attitude I was getting from people who wanted me 2 change money 4 them in spite of the fact that we (Uju & I) were given specific instructions not 2 do so (because there were people @ the table that were designated to do so; they already had change ready…but you know Naija people never wanna wait their turns). Married men were committing adultery of the mind all over the place, and their wives were committing homicide of the mind. Why were they rolling their eyes at us (young, unmarried gals)? Look @ the men sef… *hiss*. Anyway, that is an issue I will write about in detail l8r. Busola & I went outside and two blokes approached us – what nerve! The one that approached me was about my height (5’ 5”) and dressed like a joke. Oh, he was also smoking, had alcohol all over his breathe, & was obviously not himself…I hope.
P*****: My name is P*****. But my friends call me Dutch or Prince. What is your name? (Actually, he pronounced it as ‘nem’)
Me: Vera.
P******: Vera? What kind of name is that? Are you Nigerian?
Me: Yes.
P******: And your name is Vera?
Me: Yes.
P******: Where are you from in Nigeria?
Me: Anambra.
P******: Oh, I know Anambra! It’s close to Onitsha, right?
Me: (amused): Onitsha is inside Anambra.
P******: Oh, ok. So what does Vera mean?
Me: Faithful.
P******: Oh, that’s nice. I like it. So can I call you sometime, Vera?
Me: No. I have a bf.
P******: Oh! That is a slap on the face. Well, let me give you my number just in case anything happens with your bf.
Whether I have a bf or not is not an issue here @ all because my response would have been the same regardless of my status. You know what the real issue is? This event happened in Baltimore. I am blogging with my real name. I told him my real name. And it is gonna be pretty funny if he ever gets 2 read this. But then again, it might not be funny. Perhaps, next time, I should give a different name? Anyway…that was my Saturday.
Back in the hall, Uju and I were dancing and he (P*****) came up 2 me and said, “Excuse me dance.” I almost fell out laughing. I don’t know what was funnier: that he said ‘excuse me dance’ (I mean, seriously, this is 2007…who says that?) or the fact that his Igbo accent made it sound “escooz me dans.” LOL. I have seen things oh! And that yeye Uju just left me and walked away.
On Sunday, I went back for the 2nd day of NaijaFest – not because I cared 4 it, but because the publisher of Kitu Kizuri Magazine was around, and I had 2 go. Wish I could put up the pictures we took…but remember how I am anonymous? Sunday was not as eventful as Saturday, although there was this couple bumping and grinding to the Congolese band that was performing. This was in broad daylight and there were kids there. I mean, common! It was not even cute! 
Because I left NaijaFest early yesterday, I missed the per4mances of ElDee & Banky, but I heard they were really good though. Oh well, next time I guess. Banky sounds very good. I hope God opens mad doors 4 him. Amen.
Every Woman is coming along…whew! It’s exhausting, but it’s coming along. I just want 2 finish already! I’m done with Jazz, almost done with Moremi. After that, I’ll be moving along to Ebele. Thanks 2 all those that read & commented on When I Became A Woman. Thank you!!! As soon as I publish this post, I’m gonna go finish writing about Moremi, then I’ll take a lil break…do a few blog rounds and go write about Ebele. I wonder if I can start & finish Ebele today?? Hmmm. Hopefully, I can. We’ll see.
Oh, and does any1 know how I can stop my snapvine from playing automatically when you visit my page? Snapvine people don dey vex me o! *HISS*
Hey Vera,
(1) that Uju’s gele is ginormous.
(2) you didn’t change money for the people who wanted to spray? Not nice.
(3) excuse me dance, really? lawl
ok, good girl, go back to writing that book. xx
Did i forget to say that grinding couple should have been arrested?
Lollll – thank you oh! That you’ve finally updated! I forgive you for the cheek 😉
LMAO @ Excuse me dance, and the Anambra/Onitsha thing – I mean even I know that!
Good luck with the writing! Have a great week.
Adumaadan: My dear, the gele really is ginarmous. The camera had 2 keep telling her 2 get out of his way, lol. Mine was big too, but not that big; however, our scarfs kept clashing, lol. We didnt change money cause there were other people in charge of that. And yea girl, that couple shoulda been arrested.
Noni Moss: My dear, thank you 4 forgiving me. It won’t happen again, I promise. Yes oh, my sister…he surely did say excuse me dance. LOL. That was hilarious!
excuse me dance? hahahaha buhahhaa
You met cherub? I havent seen that naughty girl in almost 6 years o! you even met her boo? na wa o
That couple just dey wrong o..it just doesnt look right jare. Hope all is well
nice blog
will visit often
keep it up
I don’t believe you! “Excuse me Dance”??? As in… seriously???
Well, I have found a new slang!
When are u going to call your baby??????????????
Just kidding will call u later today.
Looks like all were up in dance and song. Glad you changed to freestyling updates. That’s better.
And those friends are pretty. Speaks volumes of the ‘anonymous face’ you for birds of a feather flock… thank you.
You can always make a post when you want to and save it as a draft…
Sapphireaster: Yeah, I met Cherub – her & her naughty self. I feel so sorry 4 her bobo. I dunno wat the boy has done 2 deserve wahala like Cherub. Poor him.
Ibo Dude: Thanks! Do visit often o.
London Buki: Believe me gal, I was as shocked as you are. Who says that?!
Temmy Tayo: My one & only: I miss you oh! In fact, I think of you all the time. Your absence in my life makes me very, very unhappy. Please baby, call me oh ehn. *smile*
Izz: Thanks o! We surely did have a blast this weekend. It was nice. Hopefully, freestyling updates will go smoothly. How is Mrs Izz?
Azuka: I do save stuff as draft, but it’s just not the same, you know? How u dey?
O gbele gbele gbele o! Thanx, Vera, for those gele pix. I can’t tire gele to save my life. Oh well, who cares? I know way more important things that I can’t do and I am still alive. Yippee! Have a great weekend.
OGIMO!!! see igele…
oya post ur own now? hen, vera.
e be like say ur own no fine reach Uju own na make u dey use anon as excuse… lol
�escooz me dans�
That has to be da funniest line i’ve heard in a looong time! Plus da fact that he had an igbo accent and didnt know that Onitsha was in Anambra State. hmmmm….
LOL. Igbo men never cease to embarrass me. and why was dude acting like he didnt know where Onitsha was? I bet he is even one of those Onitsha traders sef!
As for the bumping/grinding couple… that’s just WRONG on soooo many levels!
Good luck with the rest of the writing. Looking forward to reading when you’re done.
Excuse me dance? LOL! You didn’t tell us if you accepted to dance or not.
Dat ya guy is still living in the 70’s. “Escooz me danz” LOL!!
Wow, the comment above, have you been super spammed or something?
Hey, just howding at you and saying you been gone for too long. Every time I think of calling you I remember that the time diff means you is still in slumber.
Ta for the add on facebook.
Hey, not having a BF is no biggie. In fact, I think more women should consider being single longer, to get a better chance to know themselves before dedicating themselves to a relationship.
But in order to make my point more evident, I will address it in my standup comedy.
Vera, pls delete that long anonymous comment.
“Excuse me dance.” RFLMAO I’ve never heard that before but as I read that part, I imagined it would sound just as you described it.
Jumi: Don’t worry, I am not such a gele tire either. I just manage to get by. Thanks 4 stopping by babe.
UnNaked: Go siddon jo! If I put my own, u no go fit handle am o! Anyway, how far? Shey u dey?
Zahratique: Yes o! Imagine how hard I wanted 2 laugh. Like who the heck says excuse me dance??? This is 2007. Even my parents don’t say that anymore. LOL. Just funny men.
Beautifully Human: Yes oh, my sister. LOL. He definitely did look and sound the part of the Onitsha trader. Funny people.
Tayo: I did o! I accepted 2 dance, but only for like a minute, then I ran off, saying I had to go pick money. I couldn’t say no cause I was already dansing when he approached me. The dance was so awkward cause I was giggling like a high school kid the whole time.
Calabar Gal: That one pass 70s oh! More like 30s sef
Izz: Yeah, I’ve been super spammed, but I gladly deleted the comment. Wat da heck?
Lucy: I think I know myself already (maybe not), but I totally support you on the whole being single thing. The trip is just not worth the gas
Mari: I deleted it already. Imagine how I felt when he said it. I could not believe he said it. LOL. Twas definitely very funny.
Hiiiiiiiii Vera how are you?
so you are anonymous eh? how long do u think that will last for? eh? when you now publish Every Woman and we now buy the book with your picture right on the back in large? eh? or are you using a pseudonym?
anyway i see no one has answered ur question on the snapvine thing and as it is annoying me too (lol) i shall help u 🙂
go to snapvine and go to that part where you change your blog-skin. you know on the home page, you will see blog skin, choose another one (anyone) but before you accept it and copy the code, look below and you will see a box somewhere that asks if you want your voicemails to play automatically, untick the box,
then copy the codes and paste them in your blog like you did the last time 🙂 hope that helps.
Hey gal, wats ya flavour? 🙂
LOL at the couple!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehehe hilarious!
Nice blog you got going on, Vera.
That type of dancing is very funy…
What is that man doing behind a woman? like……
Hey the name Vera means something alse in Uganda…
It means a Huble Lady… so are u?
Humble lady….
ur eyes are….
update!
idiotic stepwife! update dont be like me. by the way my birthday is around the block.
and i dont want no ezcoooooz me dance as a birthday welcome. only u attract ppl like that.
Pay us a visit sweetheart
you are not anonymous at all at all! i have seen your face on a magazine called…(should i tell?). love your articles on the mag sha!
Vera, where are you?? Its been a while hope everything is oky….we are worried.
madam, update pls.
girl y have u decided 2 punish all ur fans eh, wut did we do na? pls update n at least let us knw if ur alive.
UPDATE!!!!!!!!
k dis is becomin awfuuly annoyin. how can u leave n not even say bye? i mean its been over 2 months and no wrd 4rm u. i guess dis is d last time i’ll stop at ur blog.
Very funny Vera,
Your account of the dude who asked you to “dans” made me laugh and I became the cynosure of eyes in the library.
Good one.
Hope your novel’s coming great. You should give me tips on how to write mine o.I keep losing concentration after three pages.
All the time I mean.
Have a blessed week.
Lmao @ escooz me dance…who even says that in this age..lol..that man must be a typical igbotic dude… lol, @ thinking onitsha is close to Anambra..wich kain forming be dat yet he’s an ibo man…lol..na wah for some ibo men o !!