I thought I would be able to make a blogging schedule for myself and stick to it, but what was I thinking? I can’t do it! I have never been good @ having a regular schedule, so why start now? What was I thinking? Basically, what I am saying is that you should consider my ‘Update Wednesday’ thingy as null & void. I will update when the blogging spirit moves me.
The Long Harmattan Season by Uche Nworah
My friend & big brother, Uche Nworah has self-published his first book, The Long Harmattan Season. Uche is an award-winning internet columnist, and he is da bomb, if I do say so myself. Like I said, he has self-published the book, and therefore, we as Nigerians & Africans owe it to him to support him and his dream. The book can be found on Amazon.com, but feel free to request/buy an autographed copy at www.uchenworah.com I’m really proud of Uche because he has gone for his dream, which is something that a lot of us (Africans) are too afraid to do. So if you have a dream, no matter how big or small (heck, ur dream might even be to marry me….which is a huge dream by the way), you ought to go for your dream; believe in yourself and just win. Of course, if said dream is to marry me, then I suggest you start saving for my engagement ring, which I have picked out already. Be not alarmed, it only costs $17, 000 before tax. And that’s US dollars o! What was I saying sef? Ehen, so go and purchase Uche’s book, please. You won’t be disappointed.
Party Planning No Dey Easy O
I have included a picture of my Grandma for your viewing pleasure. She’s beautiful, isn’t she? Guys, if you’re interested, I’m auctioning her to the highest bidder, so e-mail with the amound you’re willing to part with, and I just might hook you up. Bids start from $1000, please. If you do not want to pay in monetary terms, then tell me how many cows you can afford. Please, bid with at least 200 cows. Grandmas are very expensive and scarce in the market these days. It must be due to the scarcity of gas/fuel.In my previous post, I invited bloggers to my Grandma’s party, but I forgot to mention the date. It’s the 31st of March. I am soooo tired of planning this thing. And it doesn’t help that my friends and I are doing the aso ebi thing. I’m happy we are oh, but the thought of looking for matching shoes and a matching purse is exhausting me…although I would be thrilled to add a new shoe to my collection. My aim is to receive donations for this expensive party. Oh, did I mention it’s a surprise party? Yes oh, grandma doesn’t know about it, although this Igbo lady almost let the cat out of the bag yesterday.
I was on the phone arguing with the video man yesterday. He wants to bring a projector to the party, which will cost us an extra $100. I agreed to this arrangement, thinking he would have a slideshow of grandma’s pictures showing on the projector, but alas, the projector will be for the guests to see themselves dancing. What rubbish! If we want him to have pictures, it would cost us another $100. I advised mom not to take the deal. What is the point of having and paying for a projector if all it will be doing is showing the guests dancing?? If they want to see themselves dancing, they should bring mirrors!
Anyways, this is Grandma’s 71st birthday. Her birthday was actually on the 24th of Jan (10 days afta mine), but we moved the party till March cause my aunt went 2 Naija on the 16th of January and would not be back till Friday (16th). I guess she wants to attend her mother’s party. She should better bring me some gala! If you’re interested in attending the party, e-mail me @ verastic@yahoo.com (Jaycee, are you really interested in coming? If you are, email me then. By the way, did I mention I saw your picture online about a month ago? Hehehe *evil laugh*). I dunno why I keep discovering bloggers o… especially since I am not even trying to. What will happen when I start trying to?
When Busola got engaged, I could not contain my excitement. The thought of even planning the wedding sef (which will be holding sometime this year) excited me even more. But when push came to shove, e no funny @ all o! Who wants to be driving around the city looking for a hall and negotiating with the owners? This is crazy!
Anyways, I appointed myself as her maid of honor. Who cares if she wants some1 else? This is about me. I have even picked out my dress; once again, who cares if she wants something else? I was so excited about the whole ordeal that I 4got to factor in the cost. But thank God for Boyfriend sha; I already told him to start saving as this would be an expensive wedding for him and everyone else but me. Did I tell you I’ll be reading a poem for Busola and her husband on that day? I have 2 look xtra good o! The only thing that bothers me now is that she will have a wedding website with pictures of her bridal party, which I am obviously the chief deputy queen of. I dunno how I feel about her putting my picture there sha. Maybe I just won’t announce the site to bloggers?? *confused*
Click HERE to read about Busola’s engagement.
That’s it for now…till the spirit of blogging moves me again.
Wow, ur granma looks pretty young for 71. It must be some good genes.
LOL at the guests bringing mirrors if they want to see themselves dance.
I am 2nd
LOL@bringing mirrors to look at themselves.
Dont worry I have an Uncle that will be suitable for ur Grandma.I will contact him and let him know the details ..LOL
I got ur Text o
Your grandma looks hot! Wow she is 71? Black dont crack, infact Nigerian dont crack, naa Ibo dont crack lol
Anyways, good luck with your party planning efforts…Goshhh U r trying…Aso Ebi? U guys r gangsta!
TTYL Vera Ciao!
Congratulations on your brother’s book,the writing genes runs in the family.
Do make you write your own o!
Your gran ma looks great,would have sent you 1,000 cows on behalf of my gran dad but the ol’ man is still hooked with 2 women.
Wished I could come for your granma’s party*sob* sobs* but it is all good.
About the projector abeg no let american guy do wayo for una, $100 no be small money like you said,visitors can be mirrors,let the projector feature mama’s life,from when she was a chick , u know.
Congratulations to Busola.
To the other bloggers that will attend please take picture of Vera,even if we can’t post it online we will find something,*wink*wink*
I am 7th
OH! My GOD,THIS GOOD,I AM 8TH
You know I love you Vera.
I made a mistake in 8th comment,I meant this is good,I was 8th now 11th.
Verachuckwu Veralin i’ve missed u and ur inconsistent blogging. If u don’t reveal Busola’s wedding website u know we’ll find out one way or the other infact, make that I will fin out. No be the Naija community in MD? Anyways, g’ma is looking like an ayounge for her age o. I so wish i could attend the party. U people sef, una too do. Aso ebi again? Enjoy sha.
Bubbles: Yes oh, they should bring mirrors for themselves. Good genes? I hope! Because me, I am hoping on still wearing mini skirts even when I’m 90 and wrinkled.
Omohemi: As I’m replying this thing, yahoo messenger keeps popping up with ur name. How many comments r u leaving…abi wetin dey happen sef? I’ll find out once I send this.
NaijaBloke: You no serious @ all o. So you got the text (which was like how many years ago) and you’re just telling me now ehn. *HISS* So are you coming sha? Yes, tell ur Uncle about my Grandma. Tell him he won’t be disappointed.
Bella Naija: LOL. You don confuse about which one dey crack and which one no dey crack abi? Well, the aso ebi is only for scarfs o! I no get strength for the whole thing, but even @ that sef, I still need a new outfit. You like my grandma ehn?
12 number of the diciples,I feel like a saint.
Your gran ma fine,how u go fine reach.
I love u baby
lol
Omohemi: You don kolo finish! All this time I thought you were a little sane, but I guess not. By the way, have you swallowed the cameras I instructed you to swallow? And Uche is not my biological brother o; he’s more of a friend whom I call a brother.
Cherub: Whatever! The parry I invited you for ever since and you’re now telling me you can’t make it. Kiss MY Booty!! Chief is coming sha; did he tell you?
c’mon love I am just showing some love.
If I kolo,I learnt from the best- YOU.
Yep,swallowed the camera now my blood is all filmed up and I have been snapping all day!
Glad you can’t update regularly, you were making me feel guilty. Your grandma looks great! About the wedding, you should start a shoe fund on blogger and see who gives what. Cool idea huh?
Hope you have a blast of a time. Your granma is looking luvely and hope all the planning is not too stressful. I wish you the best with it all.
Omohemi: Lol @ u snapping. So when will the shots be developed? And has camera #2 traced camera #1? If not, I suggest you swallow camera #3. And if you kolo, it won’t be me o!
Omodudu: Wetin dey laff u sef? Mind ursef o!
Idemili: A shoe fund? girl, I’m tempted to fall for this temptation oh, but I cringe @ what people will say, lol.
Life of A Stranger: My dear, I intend to have fun o! I intend to dance my ass off on that day. Do you have someone u wanna hook my grandma up with?
Omohemi: I forgot to ask u sef, are you coming on 2 me? You’ve been professing your love, so I wanna know if you’re in love with me. It wouldn’t be strange if you are *smile*
So madam cos u have managed to update ur blog after how many years thats why u are harassing the my life? Me I now have wednesdays as my update days too.
Let me go back and read what u wrote sef.
Ur grandma is sleek. Super Chic!!! Hope the party goes well. Slideshow or no slideshow. LOL!!
I am so looking forward to Busola’s wedding website!! You are estopped from hiding it from us bloggers!!!! (Did I mention I’m a wee bit knowledgeable about the law?) I’m heading straight to the courts for an estoppel and various injunctions compelling you to reveal the website to us. We must see busola’s chief bridesmaid in all of her glory and sharp mouth to wit!! Wicked laughter……..
I am 25th!!! It’s my bedtime, I’ll be back to comment tomorrow!
Ur Gran doesn’t look 71, she looks 20 years younger.
Enjoy your week!
LOLLLLL…VERAAAAAAA….u’re so mischievious. No comment on the picture findings…
I’m off to check my schedule and send the email…
Ur grandma is soo beaurrrrifuul…lol…she looks like she went to one of England’s esteemed schools for training women…as in she looks prim and proper sha!
vera ur grandma doesnt look like a grandma o. wait till we hook her up with stilettos and some nice skinny jean and hit the club on nite of the 30th. then you’ll knwo wats up. anywho hope say ur planning and being planned.
thank GOD u’ve shown me ur grandma picture. now i can plan my lyrics on how i’ll ask her for dances when i come thru. get ur camera, camcorder ready paparazzi style, blogville wont be the same again after we put up the clips and pics.
Grandma is looking hot oh…does she have a boyfy?i can hook her up wiv grampy…he’s got a beat up 504,3 pairs of khaki trousers,his civil war books and all his own teeth too…a real catch uhn?
That doesn’t look like anyone’s grandma. Did you say she’s 71? Men! Well … no comment.
Calabar Gal: Good luck with forcing me to post the wedding website o. I don’t care what you say o; e no go happen! In fact, I am actively seeking ways to hide the link from nosy bloggers. But then again, maybe I should just give up & let every1 see the picture. How long can I really hide it?
London Buki: Okay oh, I dey wait for you to come back & update. Sweet dreams while you sleep; please feel free to dream of me – it would only be natural.
Jaycee: Why are you not commenting on the findings of your picture? Fear don catch you? LOL. My grandma didn’t go to any England skool oh, my dear. She’s just…I dunno the word sef.
Chief: You know I’m counting on you to take my grandma clubbin! Make sure y’ll dance very well o. I want her to sweat out her curls. And of course, I’m looking forward to you toasting her. She be fine babe o! I’m always telling her she will soon get a new husband, lol.
Naija Vixen: LOL! A man who has all his own teeth? Perfect! I couldn’t have asked for anything better, but that doesn’t mean I will automatically hand my grandma over to him o! First, he’ll have to bid too.
Tayo: LOL. Do you want her too? Well, if you do, you know the criteria, don’t you? LOL
you are not serious! you are a hoot! how come you are always appointing yourself as something?? ls post the wedding websites, you know l love wedding websites now!!
email
phone
thanks
I’m not interested in bidding for Grandma. I’m bidding for Vera, starting from $0.50.
More grease to Uche’s elbows.
ConfusedNaijaGal: I appointed myself because I could. With the power vested in me, I appointed myself as the maid of honor, and there is nothing Busola can do about it. Y’ll would have to pay me to put the link to the wedding site up.
NaijaDude: I will wound u o! Is it because I’m laughing with u? Take ur time o! Okay, I will email it to you but be rest assured that ur ass is mine! I will show u pepper for this thing u did on my blog.
Azuka: You might call it $0.50, but you and I both know that what you’re really trya say is, “Vera, why can’t I bid on you? You know you’re the one I truly want”
first thing first, you gra’ma looks like Mariam Makeba…
and next, would love to have a copy of your uncle’s book… visited his website though…
and now, OLE OLE, OLE OLE! you remember that song? na because of you dem wax am… $17,000 for engagement ring, na your finger them go take point the direction of heaven? hen?
LOL @ make them bring mirror… this babe you razz oh… no bite my head off yet oh, RAZZ is the new COOL *wink*
and you berra send the url make we see Sisi Vera in tha corner pozin *te he he he*
Everyone has said it, your grandma looks really good for 71 and still young.
Vera, you truly are a crazy girl sha. Auctioning ure grandma off even taking cows as payment. LMAO. Wonder where you plan to keep 200 cows.
I can’t wait for Busola’s wedding site to be up so we finally get to see ure fine face. And you know you don’t have to tell bloggers, someone will find it.
I think you need to reconsider your decision not to update on Wednesdays because “you can’t do it” I know you want to be a writer. I can assure you that self-discipline is the key to success. Don’t count on writing 400 pages today and then wait until the next time you feel the urge to write because you are not going to be very productive.
Start by putting a sign on your computer like “Wednesday”
Even if you don’t feel like writing, tell yourself “I’ll write only one sentence” and before you know it, you are clicking the publish button cos you’ve written your update!
Think only about this wednesday that is coming, doing worry about ALL the wednesdays. You will be updating consistently on Wednesdays before you know it!
By the way, you are a very good writer and I see even more potential. You’ve definitely got it going on.
Goodluck!
lol@ “I’m auctioning her to the highest bidder” Grandma is a babe though…my grandpa is looking for a third wife….is grams available???….;)
Mari: So that’s your plan ehn? You want to find Busola’s link no UnNaked Soul: I will not provide Busola’s link! She doesn’t have it yet, but when she does, you no go see am o! And Uche is not my uncle o..lol. He’s only a few years older than I am. But feel free to order his book sha; support a brother, thanks. And ehm, you can call me razz o, but if they (guests) wanna see themselves dancing, they should bring mirrors. I still stand by what I said earlier. But call me razz again, you will lose ur manhood. No be threat o.
Mari: You will find Busola’s link whether I put it up or not ehn? You know I can sue you for wrongful entry in2 Busola’s wedding site, right? LOL. Don’t worry about where I will store the cows; I have plans. Each of my friends would have to keep at least five cows in their house. I will put the rest in public storage and my freezer.
Lala: Thanks a lot for your words of encouragement. And you’re right about everything you said…about self discipline. In fact, now that you have mentioned it, lemme go and write my book. I really do not feel the urge to write right now, but since Lala has spoken, I shall obey. Thank you!!!
ZaiPrincesa: Yes, grandma is available. The question is, does your grandpa have the money? Can he afford her? You know she’s Igbo, therefore very expensive. She only wears Gucci geles (scarfs), Prada ankaras & Dolce & Gabana laces. Your Grandpa fit afford am? If he can, then he should go ahead & place his bids.
Nice blog! I’ve been looking forward to Long Harmattan season coming out! Check out my blog!
I get question for you on my blog eh! Go answer now…hahahah
@vera: ehmm… one questions, since you yan say you go make me loose my manhood, na where you wan hide am or put am? Inside your womanhood? I dey wait oh!
Is your grandma single and looking?
Holler, Vera.
Vera Girl- I done forget what I was about to say. Reading all your comments make my mind done scatter I have to read and come back!!
Mr. FineBoy: I’m sure you will enjoy reading the book; I’ll check your blog out.
NaijaDude: Alright boo, I’ll go check your blog out. I know you love me too much.
UnNaked: LOL. You horny lil soul! No, I do not intend on putting it in my womanhood; I was actually thinking more of the oven. It’s warm and cozy in there. What do u think?
Eagle’s Nest: Yes o! Are you intereted? She is single & ready 2 mingle. Feel free to bid please.
Simply Gorgeous: LOL. Girl, I understand jare. Happens to me all the time. I read a post, and I am ready to comment, but then I get caught up reading the comments and I forget what the post was all about.
Dream of your green eye! Oh No Please!!!
I’ll look out for the book…
We will find Busola’s website oh and we will see you!
You’re just a character VERA!!!
– You’re auctioning off your grandma
– Your guests should bring mirror to the venue ehnnnn???
Crazy child!!
I saw “the long harmattan season” like over a month ago on someone’s blog.
Congrats to him.
Have a wonderful week!
abeg,abeg,abeg..Vera..are you sure that chick is 71?
@vera: If its the same Oven we are talking about no wahala… I understand that men call their manhood names (like lil’jon, rocky, fredie, etc), but I no know say woman too dey do am oh… well since yours is called OVEN (wierd name, but wateva makes you cum), I’ll be glad to have my manhood kept there… warm and cosy you said? nice advertising… when can we? *wink*
I am back and I updated oh and you can fill in the blanks…. when is granny’s day?? I may be able to drive down (:0)
oh and mail me your number or do i have permission to get it from Nijadude?
Verastic Vera thanks for coming over to my blog.Grandma looks too young for 71.Happy buffday to her from us(blogsville citizens).
This parry sounds like it will be fun. Wish i could be there….Please let us have the wedding website oh. If you dont, at least post some pictures of the aso-ebi….
Buki: Goodluck finding me, but keep in mind that I will find you before you find me! I am already pretty close. I’ll tell you when my private investigators are thru. You will see; I will show u mad papper. *HISS*
Nilla: I know you didnt just call me a child. You no dey fear? Anyways, yes, I’m auctioning her off. Do you want to bid?
Jaybabe: She’s 71 o! LOL. She looks younger, I know. Hmmm.
UnNaked: Mind ur sef o! Why would I call it oven? LOL. What are you trying to say sef? You go wound oh, this pikin! Okay fine, you know what? Just send ‘it’ to me. I will put it wherever you want me to. Hurry up and send it sha. I’ll email you my address.
Ms Zee: It’s on the 31st. Oh, it’d be really kool if you’re able to drive down. I haven’t even mailed my number to NaijaDude. I dunno why he’s relying on me to send it. He knows I suck @ sending mails. LOL.
Mrs. Somebody: Thanks Babe! Everyone keeps saying she looks great for 71. I pray I’ll be that fresh when I am her age, Amen.
Uzo: I’ll think about it. How much are you willing to pay?
Update oh! Madam.
@vera: send me your number so that I can fax it to you… or do you think I should SMS it to you… or leave on your ‘M-a-c-h-i-n-e’ *wink*
but the size go be problem oh… you sure say the network go fit handle that much data size? *grin*
lol. ur nuts.. lol. ur grandmumsy is a chick meeeeeeeeen…abeg what cream did she use when she was my age??
vera u want me to beg u b4 u sed me venue info and all that nonsense stuff abi. we need to yarn sef. i get offer wey i wan make u. u know me now, even when u treat me like i step husband i’ll still stand behind ur ass like flies stand on food. KAMPE!
I will be there for the parry, wether u like it or not madam Vera.
Omohemi: Mind urself o! If you want me 2 update, tell UnNaked to stop distracting me with his lipstick-looking errr thing.
UnNaked: You don kolo finish. Look @ u tooting your own horns. Lemme tell you, whatever you have or think you have, the network can carry ten times of it. Besides, I dunno why a network would not be able to handle something the size of a lipstick. I mean, how big is that?!
Bimbylads: LOL. Well, I can find out what cream she used, but first, wetin be that your age sef?
Chief: No worry jo! I will send the info of course. I’m just taking my sweet time; I’ll call you l8r today. That ur offer, I’m loving it!!! Can’t wait!
Temmy Tayo: Temmy baby, of course I want you to be here now! You sef, you know I gat nothing but luff 4 u.
Chica….UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Naija Vixen: I dey come jare, lol. I will update soon….hopefully tomorrow.
See why i said you have no right to hound me about updating? I’ve bought the book, it has been shipped and u’ve still not updated. Woman…where’s my fix?!
@vera: lip-ogini? don’t test want you can’t pass oh! no let me release the rod on you and split your red sea into two oh… if you know your history well, you’ll know my story… be warned lest i let my wand on you!
JJ: Abeg forgive me o! I’ll try 2 update 2nite. Love u too babe. Why did u change ur avatar? I loved that one u had b4. Twas sooooo … kinda hypnotizing. Abi is it just me?
UnNaked: Release it o! I no fear!! In short, I probably won’t even feel it ‘splittin my red sea’, so go ahead & release it…
what a pleasing site…nice blog!!
Thank you Yazmar!!