I Hope This Touches Something In You: Vouch Only For Yourself

Long before Funmie and I met our respective partners, I remember Funmie used to wish to have her relationship be like this couple or that couple, and I always used to say, I just want my relationship to be like mine. I said this because I did not know what was really going on in anyone’s relationship behind closed doors. Years later, I especially believe in this.

Yesterday, I mentioned in my post how sad and shocking it was that Robin Williams killed himself, but later in the day, I watched several pieces on television about Robin Williams, and I cried till my eyes were bloodshot. While I was crying, I was literally telling God, I don’t even know why I’m crying so much.

But I later figured out why I was crying. Robin Williams was a comedic and acting genius who brought smiles and laughter to the faces of many, many people, and yet, behind closed doors, in his heart, there was darkness that no one knew or could comprehend. This man had a good life, even by his own admission, but there was a darkness and sadness in his life that overcame the light and joy of his life.

I know that I personally did not know Robin and so could have probably done little to nothing to help him, but it reinforced what I have always believed, that you just never know what’s really going on with anyone. We watch people like Robin on television and we celebrate the perfection of their lives without knowing what demons they are fighting.

Robin Williams is just one person, but there are people in our lives whom we think are living perfect lives because of their fat bank accounts, big cars, big houses, spouse, children, nice jobs, and so much more. I have gone for weddings that looked perfect in the pictures and on Instagram (Instagram is the devil), but inside their homes, it was hell on earth, and no one knew until shit hit the fan.

I know I will not get an answer, but at times like this, I cannot help but ask God why He lets these things happen. And Robin is only one little piece of the puzzle. There is so much darkness and evil and pain everywhere, and I can never understand why because I believe in a God who I know can blink and take this all way. But He doesn’t, and I don’t know why.

It’s easy to want someone’s life when all you see is the carefully crafted part that they want you to see, not their pain or struggles, or the things that keep them up at night because who would want those anyway, but it’s imperative to remember that the only person you really know, the only person that you can vouch for is you. No one else. But you.

Meanwhile, I know that mental illness in the African community is “frowned upon” and we have convinced ourselves that mental illness is really an Oyibo’s man disease, but I know that it isn’t. So if you are suffering from or think you may be suffering from some kind of mental illness, please seek medical help. You are the only one who knows and understands what you’re going through, and no matter how many people try to convince you that you are okay and that whatever is wrong with you is merely imaginary or even better, spiritual, please remember that these people are not feeling what you are feeling. But if you are someone who is not suffering from any mental illness, then please take the time to possibly make someone’s day better today. Maybe smile to a stranger. Or give a beggar some money. Or ask a friend if he/she is okay, and mean it. Or give someone a hug. Whatever you can do, do it. Please.

For the Nigerians who are on Twitter and saying that Robin was selfish for taking his own life, have you ever been depressed and suicidal? How many times have you had the fuck-my-life feeling, not for minutes or hours or days, but for weeks, months, and years? Look, I know that social media encourages us to share our thoughts as we’re getting them, with no filter, but please not all thoughts need to be shared. Stop going online and talking rubbish because it came to your mind, and in your simplicity, you actually think that you just shared a profound thought.

Sweet Potatoes, I know you’re not used to me being too serious, but sometimes I have to surprise you a little bit (I even surprise myself sef). Not to worry, the surprise is over now, and I will return to my foolery tomorrow.

Rest in perfect peace, Robin. I hope the angels make you laugh as uncontrollably as you have made us laugh, too.