That said, I know that he will also read this post. But at this point, it cannot possibly get worse.
On Saturday, Mom gave me the phone. She said Father John Doe (not his real name, obviously) was on the phone and wanted to talk to me. He heard my radio show. That automatically made me very uncomfortable. So I spoke to him. He commended me on a job well done, asked me how often I do the show, etc. I was very uncomfortable. I really don’t like discussing my blog, articles, and/or radio show with grown folks.
But it got worse. Oh, yes it did. Imagine my discomfort when he talked about the oral sex bit. Whew!! He said I was laughing about it and refusing to take any side [refusing to say if I’m for or against oral sex]. Why on earth did he find that post? Why didn’t he find the post about when I rededicated my life to Christ? Or my Thanksgiving post? What about the one where I quoted the bible and said that faith without action is dead? And where I said it’s so ironic how God takes care of me all the time. What about when I called God a romantic?
Why, why, WHY did it have to be the one about oral sex?!?!
On that note, I also need to tell Mom to stop helping me spread the gospel of my radio show. Mom knows I do a radio show every Saturday morning. What she doesn’t know is how she can listen to it, where she can listen to it, and what the heck it is that I talk about. I intend to keep it that way. Imagine my mother listening to me talking about size. Nooooooo!!! This is one familiarity I don’t want to have with my mother. We have already watched glorified porn together. That’s good enough.
She told her sister, my favorite aunt – who happens to be a Deeper Life Church-going born again Christian – about my radio show. My aunt bombarded me with questions. I tried my darndest to dodge them like arrows. What is the show about? How do you do it? What do you talk about? Do people hear you? So people call in? So do people ask for your opinion? Who do you do it with? What radio station is it on? It’s online? What website is it on? How does it get online? So you have a private conversation with someone and make it public?
Oh, darn!! I don’t need this right now.
Well, I told her the website is Blog Radio. She doesn’t need to know the rest of the link. I told her we talk about relationships. She doesn’t need to know about that episode that addressed the size of certain body parts. I told her a few people call in from Maryland. She doesn’t need to know that people call from America and other continents for that matter.
Well, there. That wasn’t too hard now, was it?
***Little prayer: May the Holy Ghost Fire destroy every temptation my aunt has to google me. Amen.***
In case you have not heard, the Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio intends to be hot this Saturday! Oh, yes, it will be. Our topic of discussion: What do men want? Seriously, what the heck do they want?! And co-hosting with me is none other than Ekene Agabu. He’s a writer and a speaker with a distinct focus on sex and relationships. Oh wee!! Yum, yum!! Click on his name to visit his website. And for the ladies that are wondering, no, I do not know if he’s single. Fear not. I’ll find out – all for you. You see the hoops I jump for you? Don’t say Vera has never done anything for you. Click on the show title to go to its page and set up a reminder. You don’t wanna miss this!
1st????
Yelz…yelz! Undercover kan!
I am first…lol…where's everybdy?
Lemme go and read sha. Priest reading Vera's blog? hmmm juicy…lol
looooooooooool!!!Vera im sure he read all"holy" the other posts!!hehehehe
Really? Fr. J. Doe was interested in all that? Ewoo I dnt think I wld be comfortable having such a discussion o.
U knw how couples go for counselling and all that stuff, even though am Catholic, I dnt see myself discussing such wiv my Priest…I'll wish for the ground to open and swallow me or better yet jst slowly disappear into d ground.
Too bad I hve to wrk Saturdays so I cnt call in. Will listen afterward sha.
G'luck!
wao…thats kinda creepy in a weird way…u sure hes a real priest?
Vera, what proof do you have that your mumsy and your aunt are not listening to your radio show? shebi u know say parents know how to camoflage..if nothing else, curiosity will make them want to find out, and there are so many ways of doing that…
hopefully i make it this saturday!
LOL. Thats so hilarious! So, what does this priest do? Come online, browse so-tey….till d point of finding your blog and then its the oral-sex topic that interests him the most! Is he pro-oral sex or anti-oral sex? Is that going to make you more conscious of what you write?
This weekend's show really sounds interesting. I hope my headset decides to behave itself, my internet connection gets a bit faster and NEPA brings the light. Or, i'll just decide I love you too much and call in with my phone.
Either ways, I'm ILL so wish me speedy recovery!
LMAO!!!!
OMD!!!
heheeheheh! your fault for using your real name!!! tehehehehe…you'ld be fine jjoO!!!
I am in the top ten? UNBELIEVEABLE!
LMAO! Oh wow…JESOS. I will be soooo embarrased men! The devil is a liar. But you deserve it. Make your blog holy joo….NONSENSE
I bet he saw those other posts, but of course he focused on the oral sex one. How dare u stray from the straight and narrow. lol
Ah i see your predicament…
LOL!
That's good for Vera. The internet is not as big as you think, especially when you are using your real name!
Vera, ise to your prayer o! LMA0.
but nwanne'm Ekene's last name is Agabu now. My schedule is free this weekend, so I'll be tuned it, though I can't say that I give a flying rat's turd what men want anymore, they need to be worried about what i want 😀
i kinda hope David calls in again sha
very funny… I don't think you should be bothered about what 'grown ups'think about your show unless of course, you've got something to keep away from them. nice post
LOL…Vera, may your mom not find it AMEN. Ah ah the priest was speaking about that?? I would have entered the ground…olol… I have to listen in so I can give advice or smthn!! Well done with all this oh…Igbo sisters all the way!
x!
Nwanne m , o dikwa true o! Ekene's last name bu Agabu..o ya rectify..he he, we are waiting on his single status news.kphehehehe (I laugh in Igbo)
my dear, you're on your own on that one! once my dad asked me for my blog address, i told him not to bother!
PS: go defend ur people on my blog!
haha, only you Vera…priest reading your bog. If anyone complains tell them to read some of the other 'dangerous' blogs out there, *ahem, I won't name names, lol!*
LOLLLL
my uncle (my mom's elder brother) told me he read nearly all my blog posts, and dat was wen i used to write abt sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so, between me & u, which one worse pass???
LOL!!!! We can never know who reads our blog. It's not so anonymous after all.
UnderCover07: Congrats ooo! E no dey easy to be first. Under kan! Cover kan! 07 kan! I throway yansh 4 you.
Tinu: I really don't know if he read all the other posts oh. The thing dey do me somehow for my body.
UnderCover07: I know, right! There are just some things you don't want your priest to know that you know. Your knowledge of a thing called oral sex is one of them. Tufia kwa.
Cici: Of course he's a real priest. Priests/pastors/popes/bishops are all humans first.
Webround: I demand that you take those words back right this minute!! How dare you put such a thought in my head? My mom & aunt are not listening biko.
Chayoma: Hopefully you do. Twas nice having you last weekend.
Ms. Dufa: Hahahaha. Ehm, I didn't ask the priest if he is pro or anti oral sex ooo! Hia! U want me to pass out? Mba oh. I cannot have such a conversation. Biko don't be ill oh. I wish you a "quick recover" according to Shina Peters. Ur headset, internet, and NEPA better work for our good this weekend.
Chari: I am glad that you find my predicament funny. Just lemme catch that your skinny, long self, and I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget. As per the real name bit, my dear… na so I see am oh. **sigh**
Temite: You???? You dare say I deserve it? Temite, I thought we were boos!! It is sooooooooooooooooooooooo over!!! I take back every love word I ever spoke to you. And point of correction – this blog is holy[ish]!
Sting: I haven't strayed now!! It's not like I said I am in support of oral sex oo. Me, na only to write I dey write. Whatever the lot of you make of it, that one concern una.
Blogratti: Thank you, my dear. I knew you would understand. E no dey easy @ all oh.
Warris there?lol
He will always be there to keep you in check. And of cos he saw all ur lovely posts about God.
I swear, I am still laughing.
LOL… someone once told me "none should seek anonymity if you are writing about anything that involves anyone with remote access to the internet".. well, it doesn't really apply here, but i can't wipe the smirk off my face.
Pele o….let me go and laugh at you some more jo!
LOL!!!
Yeepa! priest fa?! ok, lets see the brighter side, even priests read ur blog, now thats cool init?
i wish i could listen on one of ur programs, i feel like am missing a lot.
LOL..Priest ke!!! not funny at all. pele..
I should log in to ur radio show o..wat time is it again- UK time pls! thank u!
Temmy Tayo: Stop this yeye laughing you're laughing ooo! Me, I don't like it @ all. He'll be there 2 always keep me in check indeed. Who told you I need 2 be kept in check? Just wait till I see you. I'll deal with you!!
Sleekiest: Gee thanks! You've been mighty nice to me. Rubbish! My dear, I have always kept in mind that anyone can read everything I write on my blog, and to make it worse, I write with my real name. Keeping that in mind, I try not to write anything that'll put me in an uncomfortable. So I don't mind if Father John Doe reads my blog; I just don't wanna know that he does!
Omotee: You're missing a lot oh!!! But despair not; you can listen to it after the show. You can even download it sef. And it's all for free oh! So you sef you joined them 2 laugh @ me ehn? Okay oh!
Aloted: Sebi U.K and Naija have the same time? I don't know. Anyway, the show is @ 3:00 PM Naija time, so figure it out for U.K. time
lol…i can just imagine how u felt…ewww..lool
its about time he knocked on your door just to tell you he is your next door neighbour jare.
oh my gosh! hilarious! i have a hard time talking about my blog. And i just showed it to my mom on monday….and all i do is post about my outfits…lol. lmbo @ your prayer w/ the holy ghost fire.
I saw a picture of u on someone's blog today. Hehe! You were a bride's maid, had on a blue dress. I think i recognized Funmi as one of the bride's maids. Not too sure.
Priest? Whats is he doing on blogsville? Oga o ..Anyway I say a big AMEN to ur prayers..LOL
It was very interesting for me to read the blog. Thanx for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more soon.
Bella Swenson