Rude Party Guest — Or Was I Overreacting?

This is something that happened at this year’s BlogHer conference. I just kind of forgot to blog about it. On the first day (Thursday), that was when the ice-breaking parties happened in the evening. For me, the first conference day is usually just for fun and nothing serious. Anyway, I attended one of the parties of that night, which was the Multi-Culti party. It’s supposed to celebrate influencers of different cultures.

I got there about an hour after it started and I didn’t know anyone there because my friends were not there yet, so I just grabbed a cup of water and sat on a chair where I patiently observed people as they chatted and socialized over loud music and lots of alcohol. This was a cocktail party, so there were more people than there were seats and tables.

In front of me, there was another seat, just like the one I was sitting on, and between us, there was a cocktail table. At cocktail parties, there are usually more people standing than there are sitting, and there may not be a designated place to throw away stuff (like used disposable plates/cups and dirty napkins). Usually, you’ll just leave your plate randomly on one of the cocktail tables.

The napkin, her clutch, and some of her many bobby pins

All that being said, while I was sitting on my chair, an Asian girl came by, dropped her dirty napkin on the table and walked away. Then she came right back, put her clutch on the table and started repinning her hair with what seemed to be about a thousand pins. When she was done constructing her mane, she picked up her clutch and attempted to walk away. That was when Vera happened.

I asked, “Excuse me, are you going to take that?” So she came back and picked her napkin up. Then she asked if she could ask me a question. I obliged her. She asked, Is it rude to leave my napkin there? I’m asking because I was at another event one time and I dropped my napkin and this Black girl called me back to take my napkin. I thought since it’s a cocktail party ….. Interesting perspective. I told her honestly that if she had dropped a plate or cup with a piece of napkin in it, I would not have brought her attention to it, but she dropped a dirty napkin, and it’s not like she was sitting there prior. I told her it was just weird. And it gave an impression of nastiness and filth.

She apologized and said that she did not want to offend any more people. I honestly felt bad after that conversation. I talk very tough, but I don’t want to make people feel bad. That’s for the most part anyway. Sometimes, I just don’t care. I still think it was nasty leave her napkin there like that. I would not have done that, unless there was no one at the table. But it really got me wondering: was there something wrong with her leaving her napkin there like that? Or was I just overreacting?