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November 15, 2013

Dear Ann Coulter, To Have Multiple Orgasms From A Nigerian Prince, Press 1 – Again

Yesterday on Nigerian Twitter, people were pissed about Ann Coulter's latest article, titles, "To Speak To A Nigerian Prince About Your Health Care, Press 1 Now." If you're wondering what on earth she's talking about, it's about Obama's healthcare website that isn't working. So what does this have to do with Nigeria? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a damn thing. You know, I get humor. I appreciate humor in any piece of writing. If she had stopped at just including Nigerian in the title, Read More

November 12, 2013

About The Man Who Nailed His Balls To A Cobblestone

I was going to blog about this Russian man who nailed his balls to a cobblestone yesterday [I read the story on Sunday night], but I knew that I had to embed an ad in the post, and I concluded that advertisers probably don't want their content next to balls nailed to a cobblestone. So the Adele post happened instead. By the way, I woke up this morning still thinking about what I would do with £12 million that Adele turned down. Mmmm! But let me tell you about Pyotr Pavlensky, a 29 year old Read More

November 11, 2013

Adele Turned Down £12 million To Be The Face Of L’Oreal? L’Oreal, Pick Me, Please!

Sweet baby Jesus, what is this world turning into? Now, you know that I love me some Adele. Well, maybe you didn't know, but now you do. Apart from the fact that she is disturbingly talented, she is also a curvy girl who doesn't get naked for the sake of entertainment. I relate to her. And I think she is very, very beautiful. Yes, I am biased. I know that. Anyway, L'Oreal approached Adele to be their face and take over from Cheryl Cole in 2009 (and Cheryl gets paid £500,000 per year). Read More

November 8, 2013

Women With Big Butts Are Smarter, Study Shows

I have always known that my booty will bring me something good one day (Igwe included). I don't have those very visible and daring curves that men like, but I do have a working booty. And thighs for days. They just won't go away - not that I really want them to. But I have just read the best news ever: women with big butts are smarter. Rejoice, girls! If you are a girl who does not have a big booty (sorry Funmie), then just join the rest of us to rejoice. According to a scientific study (I Read More

November 7, 2013

Do You Poop At Work?

No, seriously, this is a serious question. I'm very weird with my poop: I don't like leaving it in other people's houses. The only place I feel truly comfortable pooping is in my house. Beside the fact that I don't like using public restrooms, there's also the issue of poop being stinky --- although, of course, my poop doesn't stink *straight face* I refuse to poop at work. I can't. I won't. I actually try to poop at night or in the morning because I don't want to do it at work. There is this Read More

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