Yo. I don’t ever start sentences with yo. In fact, yo is not a part of my vocabulary, but as the newest, coolest member of the BlogHer17 advisory board, I feel like my vocabulary needs to evolve. So yo. Wait, lemme tell you about the BlogHer17 advisory board.
You guys, I love BlogHer. You know this, right? I attended my first ever BlogHer conference in 2014, and ever since then, I have continued to go consecutively. Last year, I was 6 months pregnant when I went, and this year, I went with Igwe and Ada Veraastic. You can read all my posts about BlogHer here.
There I was, minding my business, thinking about how to become a dollar billionaire when Elisa, one of BlogHer’s founders knocked on my door. She came bearing gifts: one million dollars in cash, a Range Rover, a VW Beetle Bug, and the keys to a brand new 5-bedroom, office-with-a-view house. Oprah, Pete Edochie, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie were all with her. They came to beg me to join the BlogHer Community Advisory Board. How could I say no to that? Okay, fine, Elisa invited me via e-mail, but I know that she really wanted to do it in person, the way I described.
Seriously, I love BlogHer, and I am so thrilled to be playing a more active role in BlogHer17. I never asked for this position, nor did I even think that it was possible, but I have written about my love for BlogHer so many times, so I guess someone was reading. It just goes to show that when you write about things you love enough times, they’ll eventually fall into your laps. So without further ado, I need to up my writing game about the Range Rover, the VW Beetle Bug, the house, and the million dollars. One day, they shall all be mine. Muhahaha *echo laughter*
So what is this community advisory board, and what does it mean to be on it? Well, first of all, this is BlogHer’s first ever community advisory board, but let’s not worry about what BlogHer means by it; let’s talk, instead, about what Vera says it means:
1. It means that I now own BlogHer, and I will do with it as I please.
2. It means that the BlogHer menu has changed. From now on, we will only eat spicy Nigerian food. Jollof rice to be specific.
3. It means that every day of the BlogHer17 conference, a donation will be collected, and the donation will be deposited into my account for my upkeep. New shoes are not free.
4. It means that when you see me at BlogHer17, you are required to say hello and give me a hug and demand a selfie. You’ll know it’s me. I’ll be the one in traditional Nigerian clothes. I’ll be cute and sexy at the same damn time.
5. It means that BlogHer17 sponsors will be required to pay homage to me. They will all have to visit me at home to beg me to let them sponsor BlogHer17. They will all come bearing gifts, of course.
Seriously, check out the BlogHer17 announcement here. And watch this space for more BlogHer17-related news. And of course, I’ll be there! It’s at the Hilton in Orlando, Florida! May the good Lord tarry. Amen, and I hope to see you there!
P.S. If you’re interested in speaking at BlogHer17, you should apply here. Do it right now. Deadline is November 9th 2016.