The Woman That Kissed Ada Verastic On The Lips Is A Repeat Offender

Sweet Potatoes, come and see what I’m seeing oh! You remember the woman that kissed Ada Verastic on the lips? Well, she has struck again. And no, she did not kiss Ada Verastic on the lips again; she did worse! Come closer, let me gist you.

So we were at an event. Remember I said that we have mutual friends with this woman. Ehen, so we were at an event of our mutual friend, and this woman was there again. I had Ada Verastic with me, and the woman came again, all smiles, calling Ada Verastic her baby. No wahala, everyone does this. Then she carried her. Toh! I know, I know, why did I even let her carry her? Well, remember the last time, she kissed Ada Verastic and handed her right back, so I didn’t really have a chance to react, so it would have been strange for me to say she could not carry her because of what she did last time (which she probably would not have remembered).

This time, however, I was watching her like a hawk. In my mind, I had tied a scarf on my hips, rubbed Vaseline on my lips, removed my wig, earrings, and shoes. Today na today. But in reality, I was sitting still on the outside and pacing around on the inside.

She took Ada Verastic and was carrying her on her laps, while Ada Verastic curiously searched the room with her eyes. The lady was then about to eat some finger foods – chicken wings to be exact. I wondered why she wanted to hold Ada Verastic with one hand and struggle to eat chicken wings with the other hand, instead of just handing her to me. But then I noticed she had taken a pinch of the chicken wings and was mashing it up between her thumb and index finger, and I wondered where this food was going to enter. She has a child, too, by the way, but her child isn’t a baby, so I knew it was not for her child.

My people, it happened in slow motion. I saw her pick a piece of that meat she had done nyama nyama in her hand, and I saw that nyama nyama going slowly toward Ada Verastic’s mouth. Ahhh!!! I jumped up from my seat and dashed to save my daughter.

No!

No!!

DO. NOT. FEED. HER! DO NOT!

That was how I was yelling as I was coming closer. All my yelling and cat-like reflexes helped to stop that nyama nyama from entering Ada Verastic’s mouth. Instead, the woman was looking at me as if I was the crazy one. It was all in her facial expression, and I did not care. When I got to her, I said, “Give me back my baby.” And that was the end of that. I took my Ada Verastic back, and we walked off into the sunset. Or back to our seat a couple feet away.

I don’t know why our Nigerian people can sometimes be oblivious to boundaries and personal space. Who told this woman that she could feed someone’s baby? First of all, she didn’t ask for permission to feed her. Secondly, Ada Verastic is a baby, and as a mother herself, I know that she knew that it was possible that Ada Verastic did not even eat solid foods yet. Lastly, I do not appreciate anyone’s nasty hands in my baby’s mouth. I don’t know where that woman’s hands had been. She could have just finished scratching her ass, for all I knew. And then she wanted to put those fingers in Ada Verastic’s mouth?

I have admitted before that I’m a bit of a germaphobe, and I’m not even denying it. I’m not on Howie Mandel’s level, but I’d say I’m above average. I don’t like people’s hands on/in my food; this is why I have a problem with fruit salads sometimes. I keep imagining the bare (and dirty) hands that cut them. There are people in whose houses I cannot eat or sleep, but they don’t know this, of course. When I go to their house, I just do a good job of pretending not to ever be hungry. Or sleepy.

My hope now is that the next time I see this woman, she would not try to carry Ada Verastic because I have made up my mind that I will not let her carry Ada Verastic again. This woman is a Yoruba woman in her forties, so I know she must think of me now as a rude and disrespectful Igbo girl, which is fine with me because I have already been called that before anyway, and it meant nothing to me. But what matters is that she will not be kissing or feeding Ada Verastic again. Because who knows what next she will try to do. That’s how I’ll blink now and she’ll be trying to put tribal marks on my baby’s face. NO!

Maybe I am an overprotective mom. Maybe I’m the way I am because I am a first-time mom. Or maybe this is just the mom that I am now and will continue to be. I’m suspecting the latter because this is exactly what my mom is still like. Whenever Igwe laughs at me for being anal, I tell him that he’s lucky I’m not my mommy. Also, if my mom or grandmom were there when this woman tried this feeding nonsense, they would have both used their tongues to bury her. She should consider herself lucky because I’m nice.

Also, long before I became a mom, I have always known – especially here in America sef – that you do not go around feeding a child, and you especially do not feed a baby without asking the mom for permission. If for nothing else, the child/baby could be allergic, and you will be gifting yourself an expensive law suit. But let’s take America and law suits out of it, it’s still very inappropriate to feed a child/baby without first asking the mom, if it’s okay. Preferably, don’t feed the baby at all. Don’t even ask mom if you can feed the baby. If it’s a child that can talk and he/she asks you for something, like candy or cookies, then sure, you can ask mom/dad. Otherwise, pocket your food.

Feeding my baby is no for me. Feeding her intimate foods with your hands – like pounded yam or anything you have to nyama nyama between your fingers is a fuck no.

DON’T. FUCKING. DO. IT.