The Thank You Note You Didn’t Know You Needed

Wow.

Can it be like this every day? The past two weeks have been filled with so much virtual and real-life love. I feel like I have been in a group hug with the best humans on earth. I have always known that I am blessed with the best readers, but oh, my God, you guys are even better than I originally thought. On that note, considering what I shared (my divorce), I suppose it technically cannot be like this every day. And really, I hope this divorce is my one-and-done divorce. I’d prefer to not have another divorce story to share.

From the moment I came back to my blog and started blogging again (on January 1st), you have been so supportive. When I asked you to subscribe, soooo many of you did. Wow! Where have you been hiding? I have so many plans for my Sweet Potato Insiders. For example, whenever I have an announcement to make or a deal to share or anything of that sort, I will share it with the insiders first. If you haven’t yet, the subscription form is at the end of this post. It’s free, of course, and I am a lot more intimate in my emails. By the way, I feel two degrees of dirty whenever I say I’m intimate in the emails. Oh, and as if the love on the return story and the divorce story was not enough, you came back and showed me even more love on my birthday post with the faya pictures.

As crazy as it may sound, I did not tell you everything in my divorce story. There’s a lot more, but I did not want to kill you with bad news. I told you enough to get the picture. There are certain things I’ll still share in detail, only because I want to be transparent with you, and I want you to know the mistakes I made, the lessons I learned, etc. I know what you’re thinking: how can there possibly be more?!?! Oh, prepare to be hospitalized from the shock, but today is not the day.

So, why did I even feel the need to share my marriage and divorce story? Well, for authenticity. For transparency. I wanted to be the person I have been telling you and telling myself for years that I am. I wanted to show you through my actions that though the load may be heavy, it is still carryable. Finally, I knew that there was only one way I’d be able to write on Verastic, and that is to write honestly. If I did not share this story with you, there is so much I wouldn’t be able to tell you because it’d be weird and awkward and confusing. I feel so much lighter. Now, I can publicly make fun of myself, and you will know what I’m talking about.

When I was hibernating and not writing, so many of you reached out via email and private messages on social media. I know it was not easy to do that. I know you did not want to intrude or offend me. I know you wanted to support me without coming across as nosy. So, for those of you who actually dared to reach out, I am eternally grateful. So many of those emails/messages went unanswered, and for that, I am sorry. I just did not have it in me to respond, but your messages always made my day. And they always came at the perfect time too, validating my belief that God was indeed on my side. And what a joyous feeling that was – and still is.

Every time one of you reached out – and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME – I’d read your message and break down, but they were happy tears mostly, although I was sad that I was not here with you. I felt like I had abandoned Verastic and everything I worked for all these years. I did not know if you would still be here when I got back, especially since I did not even know when or how I’d come back.

I was so happy every time people reached out to check up on me – in real life and online. It strengthened me each time someone extended some love. The path I chose to walk (leaving my marriage) is a lonely one that not too many African women take. We’re taught to stay there and take it. But I will not lie to you: I was shocked and disappointed by the people who did not reach out. I’m not talking about Sweet Potatoes or people I barely knew in real life, but the people who knew what was going on, the people I told who never circled back to ask what was happening, or the people who knew everything but still thought I was not dealing with enough and I still needed to put my problems on the back burner to attend to theirs. I had many Jesus-Be-A-Barricade-Right-Now-Cause-I-Can’t-Deal moments. Ha!

I’d say this: everyone is dealing with something. And I understand that a person not reaching out is not proof of their lack of care, but maybe just proof of the heavy load that they, too, are struggling to carry. One thing I have learned from this entire experience is that the thing that is doing me is also doing you. In other words, we’re all dealing with something. It may not be the same exact thing, but it’s something, and we all have it.

Now, here’s how I actually returned to Verastic: one day, in church, my Pastor did an altar call. I go to an American church. The Pastor is white, but the congregation is very diverse with people from everywhere in every shade. I’ll never forget this altar call. The call said there was someone in the congregation who had abandoned their calling because they had gone through something painful. He then became more specific when he said that the person was doing something creative, a blog or a book, and that God was saying it was time for that person to go back to what they were called to do.

Sweet Potatoes, I broke down uncontrollably. And that was the day I started thinking of my comeback, and now that my divorce is over and I am back to being creative, I realize that what I originally thought was a setback was merely a setup for my comeback. It’s not coincidental that I titled my return post as “I’m Baaaacccckkkk!”

There’s so much I still want to write about, like the mistakes I made in my marriage. And another story about how you should check on your strong friends. And another one about things that happened since I shared my story publicly. There’s so much, Sweet Potatoes!

Today’s story, however, is just me saying thank you for riding with me, and please continue to do so. You are the wind beneath my wings. I don’t know how I attracted such a fine set of people, but I am eternally grateful. If you would continue to have me, I will continue to serve you. Let’s continue this journey together. The subscription form is below. The emails come about twice a month, and I always enjoy responding when you reply. Come on in!

I swear I love you, Sweet Potatoes.

P.S. Before I forget, there are three Sweet Potatoes celebrating their birthday today, and no, they are not triplets. In fact, they met in my comment section and connected there. Happy birthday Ogodesh, Carameljay, and Nwadiogo! For some odd reason, they think their birthday – January 20th) is better than mine (January 14th). Who’s going to tell them the truth?