Anne Hathaway’s Nipples: They’re Just Like Mine

During the Oscars on Sunday, a lot of things happened, and a lot of questions were asked. Like, who was the best and worst dressed? Was Seth MacFarlane actually funny? When did Jamie Foxx’s daughter grow up to be so beautiful? How come our First Lady, Michelle Obama is so cool? And the most important question of all: what on earth was going on with Anne Hathaway’s nipples?

Anne wore a Prada dress that looked very nice on her – conservative in the front and liberal at the back. I don’t know how else to describe it. However, Anne received a lot of backlash from the fashion world and beyond about her peeking nipples. At first, people wondered if she was wearing the wrong bra (or no bra at all), or if she was cold, etc. Finally, someone figured out that it was none of the above. Actually, those nipples were sewn on.

Throughout the backlash, I never, ever judged her once, nor did I wonder what was wrong with her. I could totally relate to what was going on with Anne. Sometime last year, I blogged about my nipples being on parole. I went to Express, tried on a blouse that fit perfectly, and then had to let it go because it had sewn-on nipples. I don’t think that Express meant for the nipples to be sewn on, and I don’t know if it was some kind of fashion statement, but for me, my nipples stand out by themselves, so I did not want a blouse that would help me do that, too. At least, when my nipples do it, I can fix it a little bit by either applying pressure on them, or putting some tissue over them. But how do you fix something that is sewn on without ripping the blouse to shreds?

Here’s a picture of me in the blouse that I wanted to buy so badly from Express. It’s the same concept, no? Perfect for anyone who wants to showcase nipples without actually showcasing nipples. And a very, very terrible idea for anyone who already showcases their nipples and would prefer to not showcase them anymore (me).

I have to admit though, Anne’s nipples are a little pointy. I guess that must mean that her sewn-in nipples are perkier than my sewn-in nipples? The moral of this story, in case you’re wondering, is that Anne Hathaway and I have a lot in common: sewn-in nipples. And my prediction is that she and I will meet, have lunch, discuss and laugh about our nipples, and then, go on to appear in a movie together and become friends forever. She will introduce me to more American culture, and I will introduce her to peppery goat meat stew. You’ll see.

Here’s a full picture of Anne Hathway in her Prada dress with the faux nipples.  And if you are interested, here’s my original post about the mysterious case of my forever-hard nipples.

P.S. My class is in three days!!! If you haven’t gotten a ticket yet, it’s not too late. Yes, yes, I am in fact that kind. You may purchase your ticket HERE.