Okay, rewind.
Did I ever tell you how slow a cook I am? I am not the sort that people should depend on when they’re really hungry – unless I’m just gonna make them a bowl of cereal. In the time I would use to cook one meal, you would have already had breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And even snacks in between. Anyway, I have been cooking moi moi since 1pm on Sunday. It is past 12 AM on Tuesday and I just got done. Don’t ask me how that happened. Just keep in mind that it took me 8 hours to wash the beans.
Fast-foward to how I found out I’m having twins.
I put half of an egg in each moi moi. So there I was, throwing half an egg in each moi moi when I noticed this twin egg. Two chicks would have hatched from this egg. In case you didn’t know, I have always dreamt of having twins, so finding this twin egg was a sign. You know what I did? I didn’t put the egg in any moi moi. I ate it! Yeap, I sure did. I even prayed over it before eating. As the Lord has made two chicks (yolks) in this egg, so shall one of my eggs produce two [identical] babies. Amen. So now, I’m convinced that I will be having twins.
For the record, I am not currently pregnant. And I’m not trying to get pregnant. In fact, I am not doing anything that can make me pregnant – all pun intended. But when I do become pregnant, I will be having twins. If they are the same sex, I would prefer for them to be confusingly identical.
All that I can say to you wonderful readers is that you need to start saving money for my twins. Open up special bank accounts for them if you have to. On second thoughts, you don’t need to save the money. Just start sending the gifts immediately. Sigh.
***Rubbing my tummy***
I think I hear some sounds in my tummy; they must be sounds of my future twins kicking. Actually, I think it’s just the Peak milk I put in my garri that is stirring things up. The darn milk gives me gas!
Free-flowing Florida says
let me claim my position first ‘first’ before i continue yarn
Free-flowing Florida says
lol. if u know how fast i was typing so all these babes/dudes don't sneak up on me & collect my rightful place!!!!
ok, now i can celebrate *singing cool & d gang's 'lets go dancing'*
Free-flowing Florida says
now, i can comment:
but am so tired 4rm all d adrenaline rush, dat i’d better come back l8r 4 dat.
AlooFar says
Air freshner somebody?
TMinx says
Congrats on your future baby twins.
QMoney says
technically,am 3rd.
ur last 4updates have been tuesday but my vigil wasnt enuf.
how now??me self am havin twins…………
Funmie says
crazzyyyyyyy
goodnaijagirl says
Amen and Amen! Me sef, I’m hoping you have quadruplets because if you want twins that much you deserve two ‘sets’…at the same time!
The Life of a Stranger called me says
it is a sign indeed. Well done well done vera. Just post me the addy.. lol..
Jaycee says
My lovely Vera, CRAZY as always. I love ur sense of humor. It cracks me up…………I want more than twins, I’m hungry!
bumight says
you are just a trip! twins ko, triplet ni!!
Vera Ezimora says
Florida: I'm not even sure how to respong to your messages – all three of them. *sigh* I'm just gonna find my way 2 ur blog, so I can read that post.
Aloofar: LOL. Whatever! You're just jealous of my twins. Hehehe.
TaureanMinx: Thanks boo. I'll send you a picture of their future ultrascan.
QMoney: My last 4 updates have been on Tuesday? Dang. So I have become predictable ehn? I need 2 change this. LOL. Wait, r u really xpecting twins?? Awwww, don't make me come & kidnap them.
Funmie: Screw you.
GoodNaijaGirl: Amen! I claim it all in Jesus' name. I receive it all. I will take whatever, no matter how many. If God wants to gimme ten sef, I will take those too.
Life of a Stranger: I sure will!
Jaycee: You want some moi moi? Just gimme your addy and I'll send you some ASAP.
Bumight: Look, stop hating o! I was on my own when an egg carrying twins entered the pot. Stop being jealous jo.
Abbie says
lol, if you see how fast you had me running over here to wish you congratulations, you’d think me a mad woman. I almost got ran over by a freggin train. And if I had died, it would have been all your fault, crying wolf and all. Hiss.
**leaving with an attitude**
Calabar Gal says
Crazy Girl!
princesa says
lol! You really do have a lovely sense of humour girl.
Wish you loads of twins,lol!
archiwiz says
LOL….Congratulations on your “twins” to be…
As for these first one’s you just devoured…with milk, have you shat them out yet? Maybe they also shat out as twins??? ^_^
I know…that was gross…Sorry, but I couldn’t resist.
Tairebabs says
LOL at the prayer before eating the egg~! That was something else.
Chari says
VERAA!!!! NEVER EVER IN YOUR LIFE USE A STH LIKE FOR UR INTRO EVER!!!!!!!!!!
do u realise how fast I ran to ur page? geeezzz
*hiss
c ya head…false alarm over an egg!
I have eaten twin eggs like four times does that mean I am having a kids at once
tufffiiiaa!!
Vera Ezimora says
Abbie: Awww, come on, don't go. And stop hissing @ my future babies. They're just as real as you are. LOL.
Calabar Girl: Only a crazy girl knows another crazy girl, so I will accept your words.
Princesa: Amen to all the twins you are wishing me. I receive them all in Jesus name. I must have twins oh – by fire by storm.
Archiwiz: Oh, my goodness! You know I never thought of it checking if the 'poop' might come out as twins? Goodness, I must take note! I don't think I have shite since I ate the egg. If I have, I can't remember. But do you want me 2 take a picture & send it? LOL.
TaireBabs: Ah, yes oh. I had to annoint the egg. I need it to do miracles in my womb when I'm ready to have kids.
Chari: LOL. Why did you run here so fast? Abi did you think the babies might have been yours? LOL. Needless to say, yes, it means that some day you will be having 8 kids….maybe all @ once sef. Hehehe.
SOLOMONSYDELLE says
lol! you are too funny. Hope all is well with you and yours…
NIGERIAN CURIOSITY
IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN I ONLY HAD ONE…
Uzo says
Okay…so while this is interesting..its also so so freaky and i would definitely not eat that..ISH..
I want twins too….
Funmie says
wait ooo… howcome nobody notuced this part? lemme copy, paste and increase font…..
“In fact, I am not doing anything that can make me pregnant – all pun intended”
okay! i can’t increase font…so?
naijaleta says
Phew!!!!
Haba, you almost gave me a heart-attack. I was wondering who the heck had claimed my position that you are having the twins for. I thought you said we were all still at application stage. A beg no try that nonsense again o.
Afrobabe says
lmao at ur Africaness in that believe…I for no mind twins sha…next time u rub ur tummy and pary, incluse me in the prayer.
Doja says
“I would prefer for them to be confusingly identical”. very funny.
ablackjamesbond says
lol…Vera u don come again o
AlooFar says
Vera, I’m warning you! Serious warning. Listen, don’t you ever… I mean ever come to my blog yelling at me. I no dey play O!
Just you alone that drops by, giving me sleepless night over my blog. MY BLOG. You think everybody enjoys your kind of comfort? ehn?
If I catch you… I go do you something (whatever that means) 😉
How you dey?
AlooFar says
Sue me. Just sue me.
Vera Ezimora says
SolomonSydelle: All is definitely well with me and mine. Hope you’re great, babe.
Uzo: LOL. Wetin you dey fear? Well, now that I’ve eaten the egg, I’m definitely gonna be having twins.
Funmie: Olofofo! Who send you message?
Naijaleta: LOL. Baby, don’t worry. Your application is definitely still very current. I have not chosen a ‘baba twins’ yet.
Afrobabe: I will not pray for you oh! Sorry, I’m selfish with my prayer. I will pray for myself alone. lol @ the Africaness of my egg-eating event.
Doja: LOL. Na true I talk oh.
ABlackJamesBond: Yes o! What can I do? I’m just publicly claiming my confusingly identical twins.
Aloofar: I will come to your blog again. And I will SCREAM!!! Come and do me whatever it is that you will do me. I no fear.
mis-cynic says
vera, ok since mr boorish lost his twins and u ate twin eggs…….u do the maths…….
Standtall says
Yes, we are sealing it with prayer, you are having twins. AMEN!!!
Standtall says
Yes, we are sealing it with prayer, you are having twins. AMEN!!!
Overwhelmed Naija Babe says
lmao… amin loruko yesu
Vera Ezimora says
Mis-Cynic: Boorish lost his twins? What twins? Twins as in babies or twins as in his nuts? Well, I dunno which one he would rather lose. LOL. Err, but wait oh, which twins are you talking about?
StandTall: Thanks boo. I got your texts oh, but I was in the middle of a meeting, so I could not respond.
ed: Nne, dalu. I’ve always known I can count on you. Dalu nwunye di’m.
temmy tayo says
Vera,Vera, Vera!!!!!!!!!!
How many times did I call you. Be careful o, dnt give me heart attack.
omohemi Benson says
Mama Ibeji,
congratulations!!!
so all yea, searching for twins should go and look for a twin yolk and then you shall have twins, right after Vera, has her two charming rascals, like their momma.
Hope the moi moi came out right sha.
Vera Ezimora says
Temmy Tayo: I no wan give you heart attack oh. Dis na just love wey I get for you.
Omohemi: Omohemi, thanks love. The moi moi came out great. I have been delivering it to my friends, namely: Funmi, Uju, Tim, Dola, Mr. Total Package, Aunt O, and Aunt C, and A.Y.
Woomie O! says
I want four sets of twins, have you finished the egg?
rethots says
…many are ’em that wants 2wins. An amen to Standtall’s 3riplets.
Vera Ezimora says
Woomie O: Yes ke, I have finished the egg.
Rethots: Why didn’t you say Amen to my twins?