Sometimes, you have such a deep connection with someone that you swear that nothing can ever, ever change it. Not even time. You think that out of sight is not out of mind, but sadly, it is. Or at least, it can be. I know I can testify to that.
I don’t remember how old I was when I met C, but I know that we had a kind of connection that was uncanny. I thought nothing could ever, ever separate us. We were so intimate. I knew C like the back of my hands. I used to see C almost every morning and night; we were inseparable. I was pretty sure that C and I were going to be together forever.
But life happened. Life came and changed things, changed our plans, restructured what we thought was going to be our future.
For eight long years, there was no communication between me and C. I never forgot C, of course. There are some people that you never forget, but I just figured that distance was like a temporary thing, you know. I figured that once we reunited, we were going to pick up right where we left off like nothing ever happened. Like we didn’t miss 8 years. Like I didn’t grow up. Like I didn’t change. Or like C didn’t change. How wrong I was.
I ran into C at the African Store the other day. Imagine my elation. I thought to myself, ‘this must be fate!!’ After 8 long years, I have run into C again? I was determined to not let C go. But to my disappointment, what we had was not there anymore. It seemed to have dissipated. I had changed, and so had C. We were no longer the C and Vera of eight years ago. Even if C hadn’t changed, I definitely had. I had experienced new things, new people, a new culture, a new way of life. Things that used to come easily to me before were now foreign. Being with C felt so new – not the exciting kind of new, but rather, the unfamiliar kind of new. Everything about our union was so shaky and precarious. The way I touched C even, I did it with so much trepidation, like I was afraid of what will happen. It was just so unnatural.
It is with sadness that I have come to the heart-breaking admission: I AM NO LONGER A PRO @ MAKING CUSTARD!! I had not had custard for 8 long years; I finally saw it at the African store, bought it, took it home, but have not been able to make a decent bowl since then. Something is always wrong with it. Too thick. Too watery. Full of those little balls that nauseate me. Goodness, what happened???!!! I used to be the Custard Queen. It just goes to show how fast things change in life.
Oh, Dear Custard, what happened to our love?
Update: I forgot to say Happy Independence Day. Here’s a joke a friend just sent to me via text: when you find your life in darkness, pray to God for deliverance. If after praying you are still in darkness, pay your NEPA bill.
God Bless Naija!!! Happy Independence Day!!!
Lollll…be tricking people there o. Instead of u to have told us u were referring to Custard all this time!!!! lolll…
Well, time DOES change things…pele. Mrs custard. Just try to move on…
Love, Jay! *shines teeth*
LOL!
now I know that there is something indeed wrong with u!
not to worry though, you can re-familiarize yourself with the touch, smell, taste of C and re-ignite that wonderful love that is buried deep within!
look at me o..I am third!! Pele jo..it gets rather awkward wen things change especially wen u didn’t expect them too…as for your custard, i think the best way to get rid of the balls would be to jus keep mixin until its cooked (i hven’t tried it b4 with custard bt it works for dr. brown:P)
it is called “reacquainting yourselves”..whether custard or a “human C”, after the years of seperation, u gat to learn the new lingo, new mannerisms, maybe MR Custard prefers a new temperature now….
Jaycee: I CANNOT move on. I refuse to move on. Custard and I must work it out. We must!! We’ll go for counseling if we have to.
Bumight: That is what I’m hoping for (rekindling of our love). I a tired of washing my custard down the drain. I will not do it anymore. I have barely had three bowls and the container/can is almost gone. Soooo not fair.
IDK: Abeg, what or WHO is Mr. Brow? And what are these balls we’re talking about? I’m talking about the balls in my custard o! What balls r u referring 2??
Webround: LOL. Hahahahaha. New temperature??? Hahahahaha. But the directions r the same. I no understand oh. Abi this custard wey don cross border don become Americanized/Westernized? LOL. Ehm, I hope you’re sending the perfumes??? π
perfumes ke? i asked what you would do if i bought the range rover? u said “you can not begin to fathom it” which simply means you had not thought about it…
haven’t u heard of the church they call “jesus of ozigbo ozigbo”? u shld have been prepared with an answer immediately then i would have kuku gone and bought the range rover. As it is, the DOW fell drastically yesterday, so no more range rover…
Vera> Na so I dey check my blog roll, na so I see Vera don update o, 10 minutes ago. Chei my people! Mon Dieu! Baba Jesu, come see the excitement wey dey run down my spine. I for dey shout fo joy o, na say I comot fo my site and clicked on ya link. hey. Yeparipa!!! the thing no gree. I panicked, my eyes bulge out, I cry and weep o, all my joy has been taken away, I could have been first but na 6th I get o. Chei Blogger, he no go better fo you, he no go better fo ya mama, fo ya papa and fo the teacher wey teach u in Jss 1. Stupind bombastic idiot blogger.
Anyways sha Vera, u must try harder with the Custard o, do not let the distance get between you and your love. Goodluck with the stiring o. hehehe. she you will send me some when you are done. Temite bats lashes, flashes a dimpled smile. Did it work!?!?!
Happy Independence day verastic.. xoxo
i think the counseling it the right way to go..you should fight for your love..dont let it die..’cos dats why we are alive – to love.
vera!!!!!!!!
you are…aack! I cant even start to say what I always say..can u imagine me thinkin it was some hot dude like that…*hiss nonsense….
Something is wrong with you Vera, for a moment there I thought it was a eulogy for a lost love.. It turns out to be Custard!
I never got the hang of making custard myself or C as you so lovingly put it… I just get readymade instead, doesn’t taste the same though…
And I’m Numero 10! Yay!
I can’t believe it! Someone beat me to it…. I’m Maaaddddddd! I’ll settle for 11
LOL….Vera, u bin wan trick us… I knew it had to be something else when u said, “the way I touched C even”
Pele….I feel that way about some Nigerian foods…so far its been three years since I ate eba… I wonder if I’ll ever be able to eat it again…
lol! vera you are just plain crayzeee!!!
there I was thinking it was some hot dude!…Infact my heart was constricting already and I was already thinking of how unfair life can be atimes!Only to discover say na akamu!!!chei vera ehn!!! you’re too much!
My runaway wifey na wah .. my heart dan dey do gbam gbam ..I no know say na Custard u dey talk abt …
Whatz good?
Sorry my dear, crazy Vera time does change things. You and C need time to reconnect again after all these years… maybe C doesn’t respond to vigourous strirings anymore, maybe you need to be gentle initially.
LOL
Well done Vera, very nicely written. You had me for sure. There I was thinking, wow, what a change, Ms. Vera is writing straight from a sane heart, wonder when she got a heart transplant to exchange her kolomental heart.
I do understand though. Custard used to be the highlight of dessert, thick creamy custard poured over a rich moist cake or pie. These days though it just reminds me of sick time food.
Vera, u are so wrong. I was about to start crying for you when I realised you were pining for Custard! Btw who eats/slurps/drinks custard these days? Even ogi is now foreign to me sef.
Lol.
Nice write up.
You had me fooled from the start.
And then i found out you were not talking about a person.
That you just were talking about white creamy stuff being slurped off the end of a blunt object.
Warm to the skin, a sigh of satisfaction as your tongue licks of the last traces of the cream.
A slight moan as you taste the result of your heated labour of the last 5 minutes.
A bit of white cream trickles down the side of your lip.
You smile lazily.
Nothing every beats a quickie.. meal.
unlike most pple, i knew u were going to end up talking about somethingstupid, i just jejely took my time reading….. Custard? dumbass i thot u said you enjoyed it….. anyhoo, vera wsup with my hot yoruba, tall, fine, nice looking blind date set-up naw? am working on urs babes
Enh enhh oh…No Limit, custard no be akamu….If na play stop am…Dat one don dey reach rough play…
vera if the thing keeps having lil balls. you can sieve it, or cut off the balls and voila u have ur balls less Mr. C to urself. i know curse me out.
but seriously though, do u just dump it in boiling water or u melt it in cold water first then add boiling water to it after the fact. cos this Mr. C malfunction u dey get. we might need to declare state of emergency soon o.
ROTFL…You need to spend more time with C, catch up on old times and rekindle old flames…
Ok…something I do with custard…I mix and test by taking a teaspoon of the mixture and dropping it back into the bowl. If I see 1 to 3 drops of bubbles, I know the mixture is okay. All that is left is boiling water just coming out from the fire. It has never failed me.
Happy Independence Day…
ROTFLMHO!!!
Ok o Archiwiz and Vera!!!
I “apologise” for calling your dear custard “akamu”!!!(still laffing my head off!)…but you know they are cousins!
couldnt hv guesd in a milion years u were talking bout custard
ODE!!!!!!! LOL!!!
So mama vera no sabi prepare custard…eh well, mama Dee sabi make am well well. Come make i tish u!
C… girl ure scarin me o. I’m feelin dat way bout my guy nw.. or well.. sometimes i do.. but will that change if me and him meet again??
Sori bout C tho!
Archiwiz: Sister Archiwiz, thank you very plentiful. Can you imagine No Limit calling custard akamu? Dat na serious rough play oh. That is just to show you how fearless some people can be. Nawa o. What is this world turning in2? lol
Chief: You're a bombastic element for telling me to "sieve" my custard. LOL. Hahaha. Which kin nonsense suggestion be that??? And how dare you ask if I just dump the powder into hot water? What do I look like? Respect urself oo
Rita: Happy Independence to you too, darling. I'm off to try this new method of yours. It better work oh. I am determined to rekindle my love with custard, although I have to go get a second container coz I have finished the first one. I used it to train. LOL.
No Limit: No, they are not cousins!! They should not be compared. They r not related in anyway @ all @ all. That's like saying that Obama & Palin are alike because they're both new and young. Mba!!! They r not related.
Miz Cynic: Thanks, babe. I'll take that as a compliment. LOL.
Mz Dee: LOL. My relationship with Custard reminds you of your relationship with your guy? Haaaa! Odikwa risky oh. Well, yours will be fine. You're dealing with an actual human.
haba madam….i was like..already thinking about my own “C” and how maybe i should call him today. Nawa oh ..you this girl. YOu would have entered me into another drama with an ex. then i was like…african store..how weird is that..it must be fate. hiss…………deceptive deceptive verastive..aah..CUSTARD….but great catch right there
Femi: LOL. Hahaha. If you go and call your ex, that one na your own oh. LOL. Haha. But I’m glad that I almost inpired you to do something…however catastrophic it woulda turned out. *evil laugh*
I actually thought u where talking about me.
Even Chiefo thought the same. I would have been right to tell Chiefo I have that effect (*wink) till you messed it up by saying “custard”.
Not fair.
LOL.
Lol. I was already composing a comment in my head about C when I read ‘ustard’. I am facing the same and I found the remedy is to buy ready made ones.
Mr. C: LOL. Hahahahaha. Oh, I’m sorry love for messing it all up for you, but like you said, you do have that effect. Who knows? It might be you oh. lol
A’dele: Ready made custard??? How?? Where? I can’t imagine.
YESSS O!! We r 48!!
lol
you had me fooled,
but some relationships are best left in the past
custard aint so good for your african booty
i even thought the custard was an aside for a second.
that was a verastically troublesome thing you did right there. if you like, try it next time! *claps booty in warning*
I swear, you are crazy!
You do write brilliantly though.
So, a crazy, brilliant writer?
What? Custard?!?!
Hahahahaha!
U know, its funny how we all expect people to write bout humans only..theres no law that says we shudnt write bout chocolates..or lacy bras..or hot yellow heels..or cockroaches..or the air..
U get my drift!
Oh yea, happy(belated) independence day!
Luvvie: I dunno how to feel about that fact. But God dey sha…
Miss Definitely Maybe: What will custard do to my African booty? Pray, do tell.
Geisha Song: Did u just clap ur booty for me? Seriously???? Babe, c’mon, don’t try to e-seduce me. lol. And I will try it next time. Wetin u fit do sef?
Tobenna: LOL. Crazy, brilliant writer? Okay, I’ll accept. I like the writer part. I like the brilliant part too. Oh, heck…I like everything. LOL.
Buttercup: Yes, I definitely get your drift. I am in favor of writing about anything and everything. Y not, if not??? Happy Independence to you too.
Your blog is always very refreshing.
Thanks for making me laugh everytime i come here Vera.
As per Mr abi na Mrs C, keep trying am sure you can rekindle the love you had.
Nice weekend dear.
kai vera. u rili had me.
Aphrodite: I will try oh, my dear. I think things are really looking up for us; the last bowl of custard I made was great!! No balls. Not too thick. Not too watery. I loved it. Hmmmmmmm.
Rayo: LOL. It’s all love, baby. *wink, wink*
Kai!! Why o why did I even think you could by any stretch of imagination be serious???
Now, I clutching my sides,stifling my laughter so that my colleagues will continue to think everything is okay with me.
Nice One!!
CRAZY is the word for u babes.
U always mesmerize me with the way u write though….just love it.
How u dey?
AHS
Why Custard.
What else would i have been talking about but Custard?
This dream of yours..
WHen do i get to hear about it?
Sleek N Catty: See, that’s not fair. Y does everyone think I can’t be serious? I can and I am? So y’ll don’t consider my predicament with custard as being a serious thing abi? Okay oh. Una weldone. Tell your coworkers that you’re not okay coz you’re insensitive to my heart break!
AHS: Awww, thanks love…. I mean for loving the way I write, not for calling me crazy. LOL. I’m good. Just tryna get the ball rolling with my dear custard. Y’ll won’t understand.
Carlang: You’re the only one who knows what else you coulda been talking about. And I know that you know that I know …. okay wait, I’ve confused myself. Well, my point is that you’re a naughty, naughty boy! The dream??? Ah, I dey charge money 4 that one oh. Please refer to the post b4 this one to see payment options. *wink, wink*
vera!! forgive my stupid self o…i even thot u were talkin about a guy and custard, din’t knw they were one and the same…i am sooo slow. Ehen..and Dr. Brown looks like custard too, same consistency anyways,lol he’s not a person o and I when i said balls i meant those ‘little balls that nauseate’..kai Vera!!!:P
***Hisses teeth*** and there I was thinking of something completely different, feeling sad somewhat, and thinking what could have been.. and it was all for a CUSTARD……lol..
chei.. Vera..
am this is so uncool…i am just seeing this now…grrhh
omg i am so so sloooooooow..blame that on the time of the day..i had to delete my last comment..when it finally licked the C meant custard,,
VeraAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa MIND YOUR SELF!!!
LOL… to think it was all about custard!
Idk: LOL. Hahahaha. Dr. Brown looks like custard?????? How? LOL. Now, I’m so curious 2 meet this Dr. Brown. He must be something else. Quite milky, huh?
Life of s Stranger: I really don’t like the way you’re belittling my relationship with Custard oh. What are you even trying to say, ehn?
Aloted: LOL. Hahahaha. Don’t worry, it’s okay, I understand. After all, it did take you more than a few years to start driving … hehehehehe *stiking tongue out*
Jae N: Yes o. Custard is a very important part of my life – apparently. lol.
hehe can you imagine i thought you were giving us one hot gist like this. I love custard but can’t make it at all~ welcome to the club!
Wordsmith: First of all, this is hot gist. Second of all, stop welcoming me 2 ur club oh…because me, I will definitely rise above this little glitch. No dey count me and 4 the same level o.
I like it when you fool other bloggers… I know there’s someone whose name starts with a “C” π
ye! vera…see how u just stepped to me like that…hehehehe
i go catch u ooooo
Aloofar: LOL. Yes oh, my darling. There is indeed someone whose name starts with C. But they’ll never guess. π
Aloted: LOL. Babe, it’s all love oh. Everything I wrote, I wrote out of love honestly. Hehehe. But na true I talk na abi??
I didn’t know when I started clapping. “This is true art…”(2x) I crooned.
Mak: Awwwww. Thank you!!!! *blushing multi colored**