I was at Walmart the other day staring too long at the travel mugs, trying to decide which one to get for Igwe. There was a Walmart employee next to me, arranging water bottles and mason jars . \u00a0I had not paid too much attention to her until she started singing a familiar gospel tune. That was when I looked at her. It was one of those old praise and worship songs that we grew up listening to in Nigeria. She looked to be in her late thirties, but she was probably older. She had a youthful glow about her. Her hair was natural and bound with a scarf. Her face was easy and I liked it, so I started a conversation with her.<\/p>\n
Me:<\/strong> Are you Nigerian?<\/p>\n She:<\/strong> Yes! How did you know?<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> I’m Nigerian, too.<\/p>\n She:<\/strong> *Looking at me head to toe*<\/em> Really? You look like American<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> What part of Nigeria are you from?<\/p>\n She:<\/strong> Actually, I was born in Lagos, and I spent most of my life there<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> *Still looking at her, wondering if she was done*<\/em><\/p>\n She:<\/strong> So I’m from Ile-Ife<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Oh, nice. What State is that in?<\/p>\n She:<\/strong> Osun State.<\/p>\n I went ahead to tell her that I was from Anambra, and that Igwe was from Ogun State. She perked up even more when I said that. “Really? So you people mixed? Eiya. That’s good oh.”<\/em><\/p>\n When I was much, much younger, if you had told me that I looked like an American, I would have taken it as a compliment. Now that I’m older and wiser (hopefully), I’m not sure how to respond to being told that I look American because it’s something that I have heard too many times. When those foolish Nigerian men say it to me, they think they’re complimenting me. They think it’ll make me blush – the thought of looking American – but it rubs me the wrong way. \u00a0Although most times I’m even too tired to be pissed, so I just laugh it off.<\/p>\n But when a person like this lady says it, I have no idea where she’s coming from. Is she saying that I look so beautiful that I now don’t look Nigerian anymore (which would still be insulting to Nigeria as a whole)? Or is she saying that I have blended so much that I now look American (and have lost my way in foreign land)? Whichever one it is, it’s a double-edged sword and half-smiling is always my only response.<\/p>\n As for her being surprised at me (an Igbo girl) being with a Yoruba man, I’m wondering, is it really that uncommon?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"