Today, I and millions – billions, maybe – of people tuned in to the Oprah show to hear her big family secret. Unfortunately, the Tom Joiner Morning Show already ruined the surprise for me this morning, although they were merely speculating. Watching Oprah’s show, it turned out that the Tom Joiner Morning show speculated quite well about what the surprise would be, albeit Oprah’s version was a lot more detailed, of course.<\/p>\n
So, it turns out that Oprah has a half-sister. If you’re like me, I’ve always thought that Oprah had a half-sister. And if you’re also like me, then you would have been wondering, “What’s the big deal if she has a half-sister?”<\/em> Well, the big deal is that Oprah just found out about a half-sister that she did not know she had. Oprah is her mother’s first-born child, and after Oprah was born, her mother had two more children – Pat and Jeffery, respectively. I don’t know how Jeffery died, but Pat was a drug addict who died from its complications. That left Oprah as her mother’s only surviving child — or maybe not. Apparently, Oprah’s mother had another child, the fourth and last one – that we know of – and gave her up for adoption. That child, Patricia – who by the way looks very much like their late sister, Pat – is the sister that Oprah discovered.<\/p>\n \n Naturally, I’m not here to discuss Oprah’s life. You may google it to find out more. However, watching the show gave me an epiphany. Perhaps, it is finally time for me to stop complaining and whining to my parents (about why my mother did not marry a wealthy man or why my father did not go into politics or sugarcane and cement business [like Dangote] instead of medicine). Right now, as I type this post, I’m feeling a little Obama-ish. I am almost completely sure that he and I are very much related. It is literally impossible for my mother to be his mother, but perhaps, my father may have had him at a very young age — like eight or ten. Not too outlandish, right?<\/p>\n Sure, I may be an exact female replica of my father, but these days, people look alike. Even animals look alike. Today, I think I saw a fox that was bred by a cat and a dog roaming the street. Anything is possible. \u00a0With the exception of Obama’s ears, I look every bit like him. And, this, of course, explains why the far right politicians have accused him of not being a true American citizen. It is because maybe he isn’t. Maybe he was born in Nigeria, in Anambra State, to be precise.<\/p>\n I’m also feeling a bit Queen-of- England-ish. \u00a0I don’t know what it is, but all of a sudden, I’m feeling quite royal. I think the Queen of England may be my great grandmother. If you look very carefully at the Queen of England, you will be able to see past her beige skin and see that its true color is brown, just like mine. And although the Queen may have done a mighty fine job at it, I can tell that underneath those expensive fabrics, is a pair of endowed<\/em> breasts. With the exception of the expensive fabrics, we do have quite a bit in common.<\/p>\n I have to admit, this was a lot easier than I thought.<\/p>\n \n P.S. Oprah needs to sit her mother and ask her, “Are there any more kids you have out there – even if it’s a baby you thought you miscarried?”<\/p>\n