{"id":8643,"date":"2014-02-06T02:37:37","date_gmt":"2014-02-06T07:37:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=8643"},"modified":"2014-02-05T22:05:52","modified_gmt":"2014-02-06T03:05:52","slug":"nigerian-burial-fund-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/nigerian-burial-fund-edition.html","title":{"rendered":"Being Nigerian: The Burial Fund Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>About 50% of my job entails meeting people and asking them some very personal questions, as required by the State of Maryland. When I first started at this job, I shadowed people more experienced and learned the trick of the trade. Then there was that first day that I had to run the meeting myself, and I went with my Supervisor. It was a few hours before the meeting that she told me I would be the one running it. All good.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/Casket.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-8645\" alt=\"Casket\" src=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/Casket.jpg\" width=\"330\" height=\"370\" srcset=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/Casket.jpg 330w, https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/Casket-268x300.jpg 268w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 330px) 100vw, 330px\" \/><\/a>The meeting was going fine until I had to ask the person, &#8220;Do you have a burial fund?&#8221; Ewwwwoooo. I choked. Thankfully, no one even noticed (I hope), and I just didn&#8217;t know how to ask this question without feeling like I was speaking of impending doom. Yes, I know that death is inevitable for everyone. Yes, I know that with every passing day, we are all one day closer to breathing our last. Still.<\/p>\n<p>I have been living in America for almost 15 years (longer than I lived in Nigeria by the way), and I still haven&#8217;t gotten over certain things. I still am not used to saying or doing certain, but perhaps, with this job now, I will become more comfortable with these things. Do people go around having burial funds? I don&#8217;t like talking about death. I don&#8217;t make jokes about death. I don&#8217;t even like to think about it.<\/p>\n<p>Can you imagine a Nigerian&#8217;s response to the question, <em>&#8220;Do you have a burial fund?&#8221;<\/em> She &#8211; I&#8217;m assuming she&#8217;s female &#8211; would say something like, <em>&#8220;It is you that will have a burial fund! You want me to die?! Are you wishing me death?! It is you that will die! You and your father and your father&#8217;s father will die! Your entire generation will die! Your entire lineage will die! Your descendants will die! Your children and your children&#8217;s children will die! I rebuke you in the name of Jesus! No tongue that rises against me in judgment will live! Every weapon fashioned against me will not prosper! All my enemies must die! Die ohhhhhhh die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And there you have it &#8212; proof that I am still Nigerian.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>About 50% of my job entails meeting people and asking them some very personal questions, as required by the State of Maryland. When I first started at this job, I shadowed people more experienced and learned the trick of the trade. Then there was that first day that I had to run the meeting myself,<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/nigerian-burial-fund-edition.html\" rel=\"nofollow\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":8645,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[561],"tags":[988,412,391,6,208],"class_list":["post-8643","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-personal","tag-being-nigerian","tag-culture","tag-death","tag-funny","tag-nigeria","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - 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