{"id":857,"date":"2011-01-12T23:26:44","date_gmt":"2011-01-13T04:26:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.verastic.com\/?p=857"},"modified":"2013-03-20T09:15:49","modified_gmt":"2013-03-20T13:15:49","slug":"kai-i-have-met-some-men-oh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/vl\/kai-i-have-met-some-men-oh.html","title":{"rendered":"Kai. I Have Met Some Men Oh!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Chiwetel,<\/a>

Chiwetel, a Nigerian (kind of) who is not the person I’m blogging about today, but who looks good on my blog<\/p><\/div>\n

When I think about the different men I have met and their very different personalities and interesting lies, I cannot help but look forward to marriage. I cannot wait to have a family story night where daddy and mommy get to tell the children stories that start with, “Don’t be like your mother oh! When I was your age, I met a man ….”
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

And this brings me to this guy that I want to tell you about today. Let’s call him Mr. Not-So-Sleek. Once upon a time, we used to talk, you know how it goes. It was that phase where the guy is saying, “Come on, give me a chance,” and I’m saying, “I’m not sure about you yet \/ I’m still getting to know you \/ I’m not ready yet …” Yeah, that phase.<\/p>\n

This particular encounter I’m about to tell you about, it happened in 2008, I believe, and I had completely forgotten about it, but thanks to Busola’s retentive memory, she reminded me yesterday. I don’t know if I should be freaked out or happy about it [her retentive memory, I mean].<\/p>\n

So, Mr. Not-So-Sleek and I, we used to talk almost everyday – except for days when he would magically disappear off the radar. One of such times he disappeared, we did not talk for about two or three days. When we finally did talk, I asked if he was okay, and he said, [paraphrased, of course], “Yes, oh, I’m okay. I was in an accident.”<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Oh, my God! Are you okay?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> Yes. I’m fine now. You know that bend once you come off my exit and into the highway?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Yeah?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> Yeah, that was where I had an accident oh. You know the bend is very sharp. I had just gotten on the highway when a car hit me from the back.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Oh, my God. But you’re okay, sha. Thank God. Did you get injured?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> I was admitted in the hospital for the past two days.<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>You were? It was serious then.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> I had a bruised rib.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> *Confused* Bruised rib??? And they admitted you for two days for that?? Nawa oh. Either you have a presidential insurance or you’re really ballin’ cause the America I know, they discharge people who had surgeries the same day, because insurance doesn’t want to pay.<\/p>\n

After trying unsuccessfully to convince me that he had an accident, he finally said, “You this girl, you’re too smart!”<\/em> Then he laughed, tried to play it off, tried to make it seem like he was joking all along, but he and I knew better. I don’t know why he tried to lie to me. The situation did not call for a lie. He could have simply said he was busy, and I wouldn’t have asked any further questions. But he decided to tell a dumb lie that had no head or tail.<\/p>\n

But you know what’s worse? His lie isn’t the worst that I have heard. Oh, I’ve heard more creative lies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I think about the different men I have met and their very different personalities and interesting lies, I cannot help but look forward to marriage. I cannot wait to have a family story night where daddy and mommy get to tell the children stories that start with, “Don’t be like your mother oh! WhenRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5273,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[6,267,56,226],"class_list":["post-857","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-vl","tag-funny","tag-lies","tag-men","tag-relationships","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nKai. 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