{"id":8196,"date":"2013-11-25T02:28:06","date_gmt":"2013-11-25T07:28:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=8196"},"modified":"2013-11-24T17:29:13","modified_gmt":"2013-11-24T22:29:13","slug":"ladies-change-last-name-get-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/ladies-change-last-name-get-married.html","title":{"rendered":"Ladies, Would You Change Your Last Name After You Get Married?"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Would<\/a>

Would you change your name after marriage<\/p><\/div>\n

Call me a feminist, if you want, but I really believe that marriage favors a man more than it does a woman. A woman has to give up so much to become a wife, and one of those things is her last name. Not every woman gives up her last name, I know. But as a woman, giving up your last name is expected. No one ever expects the man to give up his last name, and if he does do so in a society where that is not the norm (Nigeria, America, etc), people will frown upon it. If it’s done in a highly patriarchal society like Nigeria, then it will be determined and concluded that she washed her kitty kat into his food, and he has eaten and digested it very well. Really, I wouldn’t want Igwe to change his last name to Ezimora. Wetin nah? Washing the kitty kat though into his food, not such a bad idea \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n

But Pendo brought something to my attention: she wants to know why bloggers and people in general tend to dash the husband’s last name to the woman, even before she has made any change – privately or publicly? Examples: Lola Omotayo who just got married to Peter Okoye last weekend and Tiwa Savage who just got married to Tee Billz \u00a0this weekend, and people and blogs are referring to them as Lola Okoye and Tiwa Savage Balogun (and Tiwa Balogun), respectively.<\/p>\n

In defense of the bloggers and the people who do this, I’d say it’s probably because of the society we come from. Most married women in Nigeria bear their husbands’ names. Some women are quick to change their names on official documents and social media, while some other women do it just on one, but not the other. Therefore, as Nigerians, we tend to assume that married people will take their husbands’ names, so before they do it, we help them and dash it to them.<\/p>\n

Pendo, I think, is speaking as an American-Nigerian. I’m only saying this because that is what I get told all the time when I make certain arguments. I am told that my views are skewed because of the country I live in. There is probably some truth to this. When I was a teenager in Nigeria, I didn’t really stop to wonder if I’d take my husband’s name or not. To me, it wasn’t something to even think about. Of course, I would take my husband’s name.<\/p>\n

But having lived in America now for most of my life, I feel differently about a lot of things, including taking my husband’s last name. I am pro marriage, but I do not at all put a lot of weight on things like my last name and whether or not our wedding occurred in church or in a garden (believe me, this is an issue). As I write this now, I do not intend to change my name on blog, social media etc, because this is business for me. I have been writing and blogging as Vera Ezimora, so unless there is need for me to change it, I fully intend to keep it that way. Officially and legally, however, I’m still thinking. Igwe is under the assumption that I will hyphenate it, but I really don’t know for sure, and I’m not even giving it any thought right now.<\/p>\n

So let me ask you this: Did you\/will you change your last name and take on your husband’s name? Do you think that all married women should take their husband’s last names? Do you assume that married women are Mrs. Their-Husband’s-Last-Names?<\/p>\n

And for the men: Would you prefer that your wife takes your last name? Or you couldn’t care less?<\/p>\n

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