{"id":8187,"date":"2013-11-21T02:12:32","date_gmt":"2013-11-21T07:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=8187"},"modified":"2013-11-20T22:38:48","modified_gmt":"2013-11-21T03:38:48","slug":"please-pray-friend-funmie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/please-pray-friend-funmie.html","title":{"rendered":"Please Pray For My Friend, Funmie"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Before<\/a>

Before the illness started, she was so full of life<\/p><\/div>\n

You don’t have to read this blog forever to know that I have a special friend, Funmie. Well, Funmie is always a happy and overly dramatic person, but recently, she has encountered what might be a life-altering problem, so I’d really appreciate it if you take a minute from your day to pray for Funmie and her situation.<\/p>\n

Funmie has been experiencing depression, heart palpitations, anxiety, and sudden bouts of frustration. Life has dealt her a hard blow, and like most people, she was not expecting it. Now that it’s here, she feels so alone and helpless. I have tried my best to help her, but there are limits to the things I can do. Perhaps a prayer form you and an encouraging comment will make her feel better.<\/p>\n

You see, for the past donkey years, Funmie has been using a Blackberry. We, the people – the voices of reason – have pleaded with her, cajoled her, begged her to switch and enter the land of people with personalities, but she refused. Every time something goes wrong with her Blackberry, we hold out hope that this will be the time she will finally switch, but like clockwork, she goes and gets herself yet another Blackberry.<\/p>\n

Recently, her Blackberry screen cracked – to God Almighty be all the glory – and the holy spirit inhabited Funmie and made her get a new phone. Drum roll … wait for it … a Samsung Galaxy S4. Like an Audi, she went zero to sixty in 4 seconds. Unlike an Audi, though, she is unable to keep up. Everything is a problem. Texting, calling, answering calls, browsing the web, saving numbers … you should really see her typing on this phone. And even after the phone came, it took her 5 days to activate it. Who does that? I could not wait to start using my Samsung Galaxy S3 when I got it last year. I couldn’t even wait for it to charge. I plugged it in and started using it immediately.<\/p>\n

Funmie (in her own words) has been experiencing heart palpitations, anxiety, and many other mental and physical illnesses, due to the over-sabi of her new phone. She feels intimidated that her smart phone actually dares to be smart and smarter than her.<\/del>\u00a0I have encouraged her to enroll in my class: Android For Dummies, but she is yet to commit. The class is absolutely free, by the way. When I saw her at the baby shower on Sunday, I tried to show her some things, point her in the right direction, but she was reacting like I was teaching her Chinese Calculus in Russian. The thing refused to enter her head. In Igbo Land, we call this kind of head itibolibo<\/em> (spelling?).<\/p>\n

\"Funmie's<\/a>

Funmie’s before and after phones<\/p><\/div>\n

So, please, my sweeties, take a moment to pray for her. Tell your God to show mercy and open Funmie’s head to receive new information. Delete every spirit of Blackberry from her. Cast it. Bind it. Forbid it. Cancel it. Destroy it. Condemn it. Break it. Dismantle it. Kill it. Decree and declare that it will not prevail against Funmie. Cleanse Funmie. Sanctify Funmie. Purify Funmie. And the sweeties said … Amen! Leave your prayers and encouraging words in the comment box.<\/p>\n

P.S.<\/strong> Before Funmie got the Samsung Galaxy S4, I actually told her to get the iPhone 5(s), which in my opinion is less complicated, but she didn’t listen. And then, yesterday, I read it on CNET that the Samsung Galaxy S4 is a great – but complicated – phone, and it was recommended to use the iPhone instead, if you’re not very tech savvy. Hi Funmie!<\/p>\n

P.P.S.<\/strong>\u00a0I love you right back, Funmie \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You don’t have to read this blog forever to know that I have a special friend, Funmie. Well, Funmie is always a happy and overly dramatic person, but recently, she has encountered what might be a life-altering problem, so I’d really appreciate it if you take a minute from your day to pray for FunmieRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":862,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[561],"tags":[621,268,261,938],"class_list":["post-8187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-personal","tag-android","tag-blackberry","tag-funmie","tag-samsung","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nPlease Pray For My Friend, Funmie - 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