Since it’s past 12am, I guess what I’m about to write is about yesterday (saturday) but it feels like it’s still yesterday cause I have not slept though it’s already tomorrow or 2day rather (sunday). Anywayz, my really good friend, Funmie planned a surprise baby shower for a friend’s girlfriend. Due 2 my sense of creativity (blushing right now), I was assigned 2 take care of the games. I did a wonderful job, if I have 2 say so myself. Every1 had fun; we all enjoyed the party. I believe the whole thing was over @ about 9pm, after which I was ready 2 get my butt home, but I was immediately queried.
My friend (the father-to-be) said “Vera, why are you leaving so soon? The party is just starting.”
Of course I was dumbfounded cause I thought the party was over. Apparently there was an after party. Until today (or yesterday), I had never heard of a baby-shower after party. In about 30 mins time, people were trooping in from left & right. The baby shower that was originally almost all women became rapidly filled with men. I was not ready 2 party; I was not dressed up for a party. I mean, I could pass for going for a party, but then I was wearing repeat-clothes. That is one cardinal rule of parties… u do not under any circumstance repeat clothes. Damn! I was screwed. I stayed for two more hours and I have to admit that was the freakiest baby shower I had ever attended; fun, but freaky. I danced… mostly by myself because lately I have not been in the mood 2 dance with any1. We danced to a lil bit of everything…. Lagbaja, Sean Paul, D4L (Laffy Taffy), P-Square, Wyclef (Your Love), 50 Cent (Just a Lil Bit), 2Face, and a host of others. The DJ did a wonderful job. I even danced to a nasty Yoruba song. Apparently, the guy in the song was saying “I will eat it if it’s clean”… oh well! Too late now! That’s what I get for not being able 2 speak Yoruba & yet have a majority of Yoruba friends. Needless 2 say, the song was fast paced and I loved its beat. At about 11pm, Uju and I were ready to get to steppin’. As soon as we gat in2 the car, two guys followed. It was like a planned act. One of them went to Uju @ the driver’s side. It was good for her, I guess since he was Igbo and she had told me earlier that he was fine. The Yoruba one came to my side and said
“Hi, I’m [witheld] and you are…?”
I said, “Vera” as I shook his aggressively approaching hand.
He said, “You know you are looking very beautiful.” (Please! Like that line still works!).
So I (in my infinite composure) said, “Thanx. You don’t look bad yourself”
He then took it a step further and said “So Vera, can I have your number? I would really love to get to know a beautiful girl like you” (Please! You gotta be kidding me!)
I said to him firmly, “No, I’m sorry I can’t.”
“Why not?” He inquired.
“I’m in a committed relationship and I don’t wanna cause any friction.”
He then said what I was thinking he would say, “I just want us to be friends.” (Brotha please! You must think I was born yesterday).<\/p>\n
….meanwhile, Uju & foine-Igbo-boy were exchanging numbers. Uju had finished giving him the digits before she said, “Oh! And I have a boyfriend” (which she just remember because she heard me saying I was in a committed relationship) Now, that was funny. Foine-Igbo-boy didn’t believe her of course; he thought she was lying. Yoruba-boy-at-my-side thought that maybe I was lying too. I told him I wasn’t. Needless to say, “I have a boyfriend” and “I’m in a committed relationship” will alwayz be the slogan regardless of my marital status. Finally Yoruba-boy-at-my-side gave up and left…reluctantly.<\/p>\n
As soon as foine-Igbo-boy left Uju’s side, she regretted giving him her number. She said “why? Vera why? Why did I give him my number now? Oh God, I will be in so much trouble. He (her boyfriend) will find out and kill me. Oh God, what will I say?” As a good friend, I said “I don’t know! Don’t ask me. Tell him anything as long as my name is not mentioned in it. As far as I’m concerned, I was not here when this transaction took place.”<\/p>\n
Why do we women do the things we do? We know it’s wrong, but we still do it. A few months ago, I made the same mistake Uju just made. I don’t know why I did it. I knew it was wrong, but I still did it. I had no intention of calling him, but I still did it. When he called me, I told him I’ll call him back and from then on, I just screened his calls. Was that really necessary? I coulda just said “no, I’m in a committed relationship”, but my dumb self had<\/em> to give him my number. Mm mm mm. Not anymore. I refuse to be caught in the same web twice. It goes without saying that giving him my number put me in a lotta trouble, so I have since learnt my lesson.<\/p>\n For one thing, men never ‘just want to be friends’. I mean, sometimes they do, but if they are coming up to you and asking for your number (especially at a party after they have seen you shake what your mama gave you), then they are definitely not looking to be ‘just friends’. Lesson learnt: men are dogs…….. led on by bitches (us).<\/p>\n Good nite, diary. I’m exhausted.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"