{"id":7327,"date":"2013-07-22T18:54:53","date_gmt":"2013-07-22T22:54:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=7327"},"modified":"2013-07-22T19:08:14","modified_gmt":"2013-07-22T23:08:14","slug":"if-the-royal-baby-was-nigerian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/if-the-royal-baby-was-nigerian.html","title":{"rendered":"If The Royal Baby Was Nigerian &#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/William-Kate.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-7329\" alt=\"William &amp; Kate\" src=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/William-Kate.jpg\" width=\"450\" height=\"678\" srcset=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/William-Kate.jpg 450w, https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/William-Kate-199x300.jpg 199w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><\/a>The royal baby is finally here. He came today at 4:24pm U.K. time and weighed 8lbs and 6oz. He is the third heir to the throne. Peeps are excited, and maybe it&#8217;s me, but it seems like Americans are even more excited about the baby. He&#8217;s probably already a U.S. citizen. Igwe and I talked about it, and we have come up with a hypothetical sequence of events, if the royal baby was Nigerian:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1.<\/strong> \u00a0The <del>street<\/del> neighboring town to where the baby was born would be blocked off from the commoners.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2.<\/strong> \u00a0Overseers of all the major church denominations would be at the hospital to pray for the baby and bind and cast all evil spirits that may be lurking<\/p>\n<p><strong>3.<\/strong> \u00a0The baby will be whisked away in a private jet, accompanied by more private jets, full of the royal entourage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5.<\/strong> \u00a0One week after the baby&#8217;s birth, there will be a naming ceremony. Everyone will perform: Beyonce, Femi Kuti, Michael Jackson, Spice Girls, TuFace, Justin Beiber, Onyeka Onwenu, Elvis Presley, 50 Cent, King Sunny Ade, Chaka Chaka, Fela Kuti, Oliver D&#8217; Coque, Shina Peters, Madonna, and Wizkid.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6.<\/strong> \u00a0The naming ceremony will have 40 cows, 60 goats, 100 chickens and turkeys, and a cake worth 1 billion naira.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7.<\/strong> \u00a0The takeaway gifts will be 3 plots of land per guest.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8.<\/strong> \u00a0The baby will have 27 names, including (but not limited to), Nnamdi, Abubakar, Ezekiel, Desmond Tutu, Adeniyi, Chukwuebuniemenu, Barack Obama, Tamuno, Ronaldo, Babatunde, Nelson Mandela, Elijah, Musa, Eseosa, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.<\/p>\n<p><strong>9.<\/strong> \u00a0Gifts for the baby will include a 2016 custom made Range Rover, his own island, multiple Swiss accounts, oil companies, private jets and boats, 2 Blackberries, 3 Nokias, 4 iPhones, 5 Samsungs, and several government contracts.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10.<\/strong> \u00a0A 37th State will be created with his name.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s all we have for now. I came up with most of them. What are some of your ideas?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The royal baby is finally here. He came today at 4:24pm U.K. time and weighed 8lbs and 6oz. He is the third heir to the throne. Peeps are excited, and maybe it&#8217;s me, but it seems like Americans are even more excited about the baby. He&#8217;s probably already a U.S. citizen. Igwe and I talked<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/if-the-royal-baby-was-nigerian.html\" rel=\"nofollow\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[560],"tags":[6,834],"class_list":["post-7327","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-social","tag-funny","tag-royal-baby","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - 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