{"id":6507,"date":"2013-04-26T02:45:10","date_gmt":"2013-04-26T06:45:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=6507"},"modified":"2013-04-26T00:17:09","modified_gmt":"2013-04-26T04:17:09","slug":"so-this-guy-asked-if-im-a-lesbian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/so-this-guy-asked-if-im-a-lesbian.html","title":{"rendered":"So This Guy Asked If I’m A Lesbian"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Gym-Clothes\"<\/a>This happened on Wednesday night, and when it happened, I was thinking to myself, how will my readers believe this one? It was the same day I put up a post saying I wanted to be hit on a lesbian<\/strong><\/a>. Let me tell you my story.<\/p>\n

I went to the gym, and then, I stopped at Royal Farms on my way back to get some gas. I noticed a green Camry in the pump behind mine, and I noticed it because it looked just like Funmie’s car, but I quickly dismissed the thought because I knew Funmie was at work at that time.<\/p>\n

So I started pumping my gas when I heard the person behind me saying, “Excuse me, excuse me …”<\/em> So I turned around and we had the strangest conversation, if I will call it that. He was a black guy. He was done pumping his gas and was now seated in his car, ready to drive off.<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> You’re not a lesbian, are you?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Huh? [I heard \u00a0him the first time, but the question caught me off guard. Plus, I thought for a second that he might be a reader who read my post about wanting to be hit on by a lesbian and he was just trying to mess with me].<\/em><\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> I said, you’re not a lesbian, are you?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> *Puzzled*<\/em> No!<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> Oh, okay. Well, I’m Gregg. Can I call you sometime?<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong>\u00a0No, you cannot call me sometime.<\/p>\n

So I faced my pump and continued pumping like we didn’t just have an awkward conversation, but I couldn’t take it, so I turned back and started the conversation again.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> But what the hell kind of pick up line was that?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong>\u00a0You have sweats on, so I thought you might be a lesbian.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> So a woman having sweats on means she’s a lesbian?<\/p>\n

Him:<\/strong> I don’t know. I thought it might be your thing.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> [I stared at him for about two seconds, not believing that a person could be that stupid. So I told him exactly how I felt.]<\/em> You’re stupid.<\/p>\n

He shrugged and drove off. And I burst out laughing, remembering my post about wanting to be asked out by a lesbian. Then I made a mental note to explain to the Universe what I really meant in my post. You see, Universe, clearly you misunderstood me. What I said was that I wanted to know what it feels like to be hit on by a lesbian. This is completely different from having a man ask me if I am a lesbian. Do you get where I’m getting with this?<\/p>\n

About the alleged sweats I had on, I did not even have sweats on — which is part of why I thought he was stupid. What I had on was something like the picture on here, which clearly look like regular gym clothes, not sweats. That aside, since when did sweats even start meaning that the woman is a lesbian??<\/p>\n

It’s not that being asked if I’m a lesbian is so offensive to me, but it’s just the reason for why he thought I was a lesbian: I had sweats on AND he wanted my number. I don’t know which one of the reasons was more stupid. And yet I know that somewhere in \u00a0this world, some girl has been picked up with this are-you-a-lesbian line.<\/p>\n

Tsk, Tsk.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This happened on Wednesday night, and when it happened, I was thinking to myself, how will my readers believe this one? It was the same day I put up a post saying I wanted to be hit on a lesbian. Let me tell you my story. I went to the gym, and then, I stoppedRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[561],"tags":[6,746,748],"class_list":["post-6507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-personal","tag-funny","tag-lesbians","tag-pick-up-lines","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nSo This Guy Asked If I'm A Lesbian - 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