{"id":6241,"date":"2013-04-09T06:45:46","date_gmt":"2013-04-09T10:45:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=6241"},"modified":"2013-04-10T22:04:33","modified_gmt":"2013-04-11T02:04:33","slug":"my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html","title":{"rendered":"My Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Random<\/a>

Random Pakistani guy who does not look like my mechanic, but who looks good on my blog<\/p><\/div>\n

I have been going to this Pakistani mechanic for some years now. The actual mechanic who does my car is an older man, and he’s the one who owns the garage shop. His nephew who also works there with him has the hots for me, and it’s the funniest, strangest kind of hots. Every time I come, he stares at me. And stares at me. And stares at me. And the entire time he’s staring, he has the biggest smile on his face.<\/p>\n

He always asks how I’m doing, tells me over and over that he works so hard that he doesn’t have time to meet girls, tells me I’m so beautiful, tells me he’s lonely, tells me he likes this and that on me, asks me if my boyfriend likes this and that on me, compliments everything he can think of complimenting, including my very old car, talks about loving my hair, asks me how work is going, says he wants a wife … and so much more.<\/p>\n

I have never, ever met anyone who stares at me and smiles at me so much. It’s somewhere between amusing and uncomfortable, but mostly amusing. And the owner (my real mechanic) and his wife, they are either really oblivious to what their nephew is doing or they are really good at pretending. I tend to think the latter.<\/p>\n

Even if he is in the inside room when I come, he will run out – sometimes shirtless and struggling to get into his blue shirt – when he hears my voice. And no, he is not sporting a six pack; it’s definitely a beer gut. Whatever the state of the belly, he comes out running, smiling broadly, and sometimes sweating. I want to mention his name, but I realize that this is an open blog, and there are literally thousands of people reading, most of whom I don’t know, so I won’t mention his name. For all I know, someone reading this blog right now might be going to the same mechanic.<\/p>\n

Once, he offered me a mango. Looking at his mechanic fingers<\/em> – oily, dirt and grime under his nails – there was no way I could take that mango from him. Plus, just because I am not Pakistani does not mean I trust them to not use juju on me. Next thing, I’ll eat the mango and start having sex dreams about him. *shudders*<\/em><\/p>\n

Anyway, he tells me a lot about being lonely and not having a woman. I smile every time. Hey, he’s not the only one who knows how to smile. What he doesn’t know is that I know he has a wife AND three kids. His aunt mentioned it to me. But she talks a lot, so I think she just mentioned it without thinking of its implication. Or maybe it isn’t supposed to even matter that he’s married. Now that I think of it, maybe he does know that I know, but it just doesn’t matter.<\/p>\n

The moral of the story is: he does little jobs on my car for free. And he smiles while doing it. And his oga at the top does not know.<\/p>\n

P.S.<\/strong> I don’t know who that guy in the picture is, and I cannot confirm that he is indeed Pakistani. But when I Google’d random Pakistani guy<\/em>, he was one of the ones who came up. We’d have to ask Google for their source.<\/p>\n

Should his antidote mount a stumbling soup?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have been going to this Pakistani mechanic for some years now. The actual mechanic who does my car is an older man, and he’s the one who owns the garage shop. His nephew who also works there with him has the hots for me, and it’s the funniest, strangest kind of hots. Every timeRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[561],"tags":[6,718],"class_list":["post-6241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-personal","tag-funny","tag-my-mechanic","entry","has-post-thumbnail"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nMy Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html\",\"name\":\"My Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Random-Pakistani-Guy.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-04-09T10:45:46+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-04-11T02:04:33+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Random-Pakistani-Guy.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Random-Pakistani-Guy.jpg\",\"width\":240,\"height\":258,\"caption\":\"Random Pakistani guy who does not look like my mechanic, but who looks good on my blog\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"My Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. Nigerian girl with Russian roots and future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/verastic.com\",\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/verastic\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/verastic\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/author\/vera\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"My Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me - Verastic","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Vera Ezimora","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html","name":"My Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me - Verastic","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Random-Pakistani-Guy.jpg","datePublished":"2013-04-09T10:45:46+00:00","dateModified":"2013-04-11T02:04:33+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Random-Pakistani-Guy.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/Random-Pakistani-Guy.jpg","width":240,"height":258,"caption":"Random Pakistani guy who does not look like my mechanic, but who looks good on my blog"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/personal\/my-pakistani-mechanic-has-the-hots-for-me.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"My Pakistani Mechanic Has The Hots For Me"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/","name":"Verastic","description":"Recklessly authentic.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a","name":"Vera Ezimora","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Vera Ezimora"},"description":"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. Nigerian girl with Russian roots and future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys.","sameAs":["http:\/\/verastic.com","http:\/\/facebook.com\/verastic","https:\/\/x.com\/verastic"],"url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/author\/vera"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Mdf8-1CF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6241"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6241\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6252,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6241\/revisions\/6252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}