{"id":5583,"date":"2013-02-06T06:45:16","date_gmt":"2013-02-06T11:45:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com\/?p=5583"},"modified":"2013-02-05T21:06:38","modified_gmt":"2013-02-06T02:06:38","slug":"the-best-valentine-gift-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html","title":{"rendered":"The Best Valentine Gift. EVER."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-5586\" title=\"Valentine\" src=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"306\" height=\"195\" srcset=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png 306w, https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine-300x191.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 306px) 100vw, 306px\" \/><\/a>Valentine is coming around the corner again, and I know that men and women &#8211; probably men especially &#8211; are running all over the place trying to find a gift. Everyone wants to buy the perfect gift for that special someone. Luckily for you, after months and months of extensive research, I now have the answer for you:<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_5584\" style=\"width: 560px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine-Gift.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-5584\" class=\"size-full wp-image-5584\" title=\"Valentine Gift\" src=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine-Gift.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"550\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine-Gift.jpg 550w, https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine-Gift-300x218.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 550px) 100vw, 550px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-5584\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span style=\"font-size: small;\">The perfect Valentine gift!<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Now what woman in her right mind wouldn&#8217;t want this as a Valentine gift? I think it shows true\u00a0commitment from the man. Not only does he want to spend his life with you, but he also wants to spend his death lying next to you. How sweet!!! I can just see it now. He brings the certificate of death &#8211; pun intended &#8211; and says to her, &#8220;Happy Valentine&#8217;s Day, baby! I can&#8217;t wait for us to die and return to dust together.&#8221; \u00a0<span style=\"line-height: 19px;\">And she would blush and say, &#8220;Oh, my goodness, this is the nicest, sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me!&#8221; <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium; line-height: 19px;\">You know, this kind of gift only works for Oyibo people. Can you imagine buying this and giving it to a Nigerian girl? Her response will be something like this, &#8220;Me, burial ground? You are a bastard! It is your mother that will die! Your father! Your entire generation! Did me and you enter this world together? Why must we die together or share burial ground? I will never, ever die! I will live and proclaim the word of the Lord. It is you that will die. You unapologetic idiot!&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">Moral of the story: Gift responsibly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Valentine is coming around the corner again, and I know that men and women &#8211; probably men especially &#8211; are running all over the place trying to find a gift. Everyone wants to buy the perfect gift for that special someone. Luckily for you, after months and months of extensive research, I now have the<a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html\" rel=\"nofollow\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5586,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[560],"tags":[6,143,22],"class_list":["post-5583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-social","tag-funny","tag-gifts","tag-valentine","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Best Valentine Gift. EVER. - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html\",\"name\":\"The Best Valentine Gift. EVER. - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-02-06T11:45:16+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png\",\"width\":306,\"height\":195},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Best Valentine Gift. EVER.\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, &amp; Nwa Jesu. Nigerian girl with Russian roots and future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/verastic.com\",\"http:\/\/facebook.com\/verastic\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/verastic\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/author\/vera\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Best Valentine Gift. EVER. - Verastic","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Vera Ezimora","Est. reading time":"1 minute"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html","name":"The Best Valentine Gift. EVER. - Verastic","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png","datePublished":"2013-02-06T11:45:16+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png","width":306,"height":195},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/the-best-valentine-gift-ever.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Best Valentine Gift. EVER."}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website","url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/","name":"Verastic","description":"Recklessly authentic.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a","name":"Vera Ezimora","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Vera Ezimora"},"description":"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, &amp; Nwa Jesu. Nigerian girl with Russian roots and future mommy of confusingly identical twin boys.","sameAs":["http:\/\/verastic.com","http:\/\/facebook.com\/verastic","https:\/\/x.com\/verastic"],"url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/author\/vera"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/Valentine.png","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Mdf8-1s3","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5583"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5583\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5590,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5583\/revisions\/5590"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}