{"id":429,"date":"2010-03-27T04:05:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-27T04:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/verastic.com.s96953.gridserver.com\/site\/?p=429"},"modified":"2010-03-27T04:05:00","modified_gmt":"2010-03-27T04:05:00","slug":"looking-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html","title":{"rendered":"Looking For Me?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Every now and then, I like to blog about the key words that people search for on search engines, the keywords that ultimately lead them to <\/span>Verastic.com<\/span><\/span><\/b><\/a>  It’d be incredibly<\/span> unVerastic<\/span><\/i> if I were to blog about the regular words.  Who needs those?  The absurd ones make my day any day.  Enjoy.<\/span><\/div>\n

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1.  Turai Yar’Adua<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
I’m not sure what bothers me most: the fact that the search for Turai leads people to my blog, or the fact that Turai Yar’Adua is the fourth leading search.  I think it’s the latter.  And this is all because of <\/span>that flattering post about her<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b><\/div>\n

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2.  www.project@verastic.com<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
You think I should tell the searcher that <\/span>www<\/span><\/i> does not come before this or any e-mail address?  Yeah, maybe later.<\/span><\/div>\n

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3.  Oral sex in the bible.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Oh, honey, been there, done that — searched for it, that is.  This may be hard to believe, but nowhere in the bible do the words <\/span>oral sex<\/span><\/i> appear.  Go figure!  But maybe <\/span>my post on oral sex<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b> will help, no?<\/span><\/div>\n

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4. “I found out he’s married” “green card”<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Now, can you ask him if he’d like to be a co-host on the <\/span>Verastically Speakin’ Talk Radio Show<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>?  You (or he) can <\/span>read about the talk show<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>, and the show in question is <\/span>number 11<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/div>\n

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5.  Angelina Jolie stay away from my man<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
*Gasp* Oh, my goodness!!!  Vanessa Pardis, is this you?  You found my blog! How is Johnny Depp?  Wait, did you read <\/span>the post I put up about you <\/span>two<\/span><\/s> three<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>?<\/span><\/div>\n

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6.  Ask boyfriend for facebook password to prove trust.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Sweetheart, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but passwords and trust are <\/span>almost<\/span><\/i> mutually exclusive.  Besides, he could be like me.  I have <\/span>several<\/span><\/i> e-mail accounts — which, of course, only implies that I love e-mails J<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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7.  Aso Rock boyfriend of Turia Yar’Adua<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Turai has a boyfriend at Aso Rock?! I knew it!  Now, it’s all starting to make sense.<\/span><\/div>\n

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8.  Boyfriend used to date my friend.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
We had a show on this one.  <\/span>Go listen<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>.<\/span><\/div>\n

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9.  Boyfriend won’t give me his Facebook password.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Please refer back to <\/span>number 6<\/span><\/i> above.  And when you’re done, ask <\/span>Ray<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b> what he thinks about passwords.<\/span><\/div>\n

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10.  Breasts that reach for the sky.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Only a man would search for this. <\/span><\/div>\n

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11.  Does Tonto Dike use Makari?<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Seriously???<\/span><\/div>\n

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12.  Get perkier breasts<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
It’s your lucky day!  I know<\/span> <\/span>the secret<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>.<\/span><\/div>\n

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13.  How to rededicate my life to Christ.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
More often than not, people start with a bible-believing church.<\/span><\/div>\n

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14.  I love my fat wife<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Good for you!!<\/span><\/div>\n

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15.  I want a fatter wife<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Please refer to <\/span>number 14<\/span><\/i> above.<\/span><\/div>\n

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16.  If your boyfriend doesn’t call you in a day and doesn’t send a text, does he love you?<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Heck, if I know!<\/span><\/div>\n

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17.  My friend is technically engaged<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
You’re technically a bridesmaid.<\/span><\/div>\n

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18.  My push up bra will get my man<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
What kind of push up bra is that, and where can I get one?<\/span><\/div>\n

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19.  Sniff menstruation pads<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Before or after they’ve been menstruated on?<\/span><\/div>\n

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20. Verastic Nigerian blogger.<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
Finally! Someone looks for me JJJ<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

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That’s all, folks!  Out of 536 search words – thanks to <\/span>Google Analytics<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b> – I managed to pull 20 out.<\/span><\/div>\n

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P.S. <\/span><\/b>The show goes live in less than 10 hours (<\/span>at 10am U.S EST and 3pm Nigerian time<\/span><\/i>).  I’ll be co-hosting with <\/span>Diamond<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>, <\/span>NaijaBloke<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>, and <\/span>Kola [Baroka] Tubosun<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>, and we’ll be talking about how to, if you will, tell your friend that his\/her spouse-to-be is a monster.  Listen <\/span>here<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/b>.  Call in: <\/span>1.646.929.1905<\/span><\/b> <<>> Text your response(s): <\/span>1.443.934.9039<\/span><\/b> <<>> E-mail your response(s): <\/span>radio@verastic.com<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

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P.P.S.<\/span><\/b> The Verastic Facebook Fan Page<\/span><\/a><\/b> is still lonely.  Join, please?<\/span><\/div>\n

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P.P.P.S.<\/span><\/b> Go vote for today’s show!<\/span><\/div>\n

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P.P.P.P.S<\/span><\/b>. If you have already voted for today’s show, vote for next week’s show.<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every now and then, I like to blog about the key words that people search for on search engines, the keywords that ultimately lead them to Verastic.com  It’d be incredibly unVerastic if I were to blog about the regular words.  Who needs those?  The absurd ones make my day any day.  Enjoy. 1.  Turai Yar’AduaRead More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"twitter_14738191_14738191":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[25,6,153,38],"class_list":["post-429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","tag-analytics","tag-funny","tag-google","tag-search-words","entry"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nLooking For Me? - Verastic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Vera Ezimora\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html\",\"name\":\"Looking For Me? - Verastic\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-03-27T04:05:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/social\/looking-for-me.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Looking For Me?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/\",\"name\":\"Verastic\",\"description\":\"Recklessly authentic.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/2c1b7969fbea03a45b97d54a5228cc1a\",\"name\":\"Vera Ezimora\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/verastic.com\/site\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/f6c1e19c23a08351aab97f35d3ca650f0b87e7e96937f85baf0faf6e0834bc51?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Vera Ezimora\"},\"description\":\"I mean, I'm a lot of things - a Writer, Blogger, Speaker, Vlogger, Content Creator, Storyteller, Truth-Sayer, Milk-Lover, Yogurt-Addict, Entrepreneur, Daughter, Wife, Mom, & Nwa Jesu. 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